maintenance/spousal support

[stupidme]

Met a woman on the internet and got married 13 days later. What a big mistake. Obviously we didn't even know each other. It was a bad marriage. We were separated twice and after a year and 9 months we separated for good. I filed for divorce/dissolution in Kentucky. We have children from previous marriages but none together. She raped me of every penny I had during this brief marriage until I had to file bankruptcy. When we separated I left her everything. She took me to court for maintenance and the judge ordered me to pay $1000/month until further notice. We have agreed on everything in the separation agreement except the maintenance. She wants to continue receiving the $1000/mo even after the divorce is final. We have a hearing in Dec. When we met she had a good job but quit 2 months after we were married. Now she claims she can't work because she is mentally disabled and has filed for social security disability benefits. I've moved to where I used to live in Ohio and live in a bare apartment with my son. I've had to shop at Goodwill and other thrift stores for clothes so I could go to work. I simply can't afford to keep paying her $1000/month. Any opinions on how long I may have to continue paying support. My attorney seems to think I may have to continue for a while. Yes, this woman has destroyed my life and I don't know what to do now. It's all I can do to go to work with all this on my mind and knowing half my paycheck is going to her. If for some reason I can't continue paying the full amount and I'm found in contempt, will they cross state lines to get me and put me in jail?

 

[LegalBeagle]

Met a woman on the internet and got married 13 days later. What a big mistake. Obviously we didn't even know each other. It was a bad marriage. We were separated twice and after a year and 9 months we separated for good. I filed for divorce/dissolution in Kentucky. We have children from previous marriages but none together. She raped me of every penny I had during this brief marriage until I had to file bankruptcy. When we separated I left her everything. She took me to court for maintenance and the judge ordered me to pay $1000/month until further notice. We have agreed on everything in the separation agreement except the maintenance. She wants to continue receiving the $1000/mo even after the divorce is final. We have a hearing in Dec. When we met she had a good job but quit 2 months after we were married. Now she claims she can't work because she is mentally disabled and has filed for social security disability benefits. I've moved to where I used to live in Ohio and live in a bare apartment with my son. I've had to shop at Goodwill and other thrift stores for clothes so I could go to work. I simply can't afford to keep paying her $1000/month. Any opinions on how long I may have to continue paying support. My attorney seems to think I may have to continue for a while. Yes, this woman has destroyed my life and I don't know what to do now. It's all I can do to go to work with all this on my mind and knowing half my paycheck is going to her. If for some reason I can't continue paying the full amount and I'm found in contempt, will they cross state lines to get me and put me in jail?

Personally I would call around and take to some other attorneys. Get a free consultation and talk to several. After less than 2 years of marriage, unless you caused the disability and there is proof of that, then you should not be paying maintence.

 

[sassykitten74]

When we met she had a good job but quit 2 months after we were married. Now she claims she can't work because she is mentally disabled and has filed for social security disability benefits.


that lazy bitch needs to get a job and stop living off of you

 

[stupidme]

motion for temporary relief

I've been paying $1000/mo maintenance but this month I just can't afford it. My attorney filed a motion for temporary relief and hearing was supposed to be Dec 12 but was delayed to Dec 22. He said he entered into a verbal agreement with her attorney that I could wait until the hearing before paying her anything for Dec. But how will the court look at this? Am I still in contempt and will the judge look unfavorably upon this? Payment is due the 14th of the month and I sent $300 because that was every last penny I had. I am a single parent, do I face the possibility of going to jail and losing my child?

 

[stupidme]

maintenance

My attorney fees are already about $3200 and he was willing to wait until the divorce was over for me to borrow the money from my 401k so my wife wouldn't have to sign the loan application. But since I can't afford the $1000/mo maintenance, does anyone know if I can borrow the attorney fees plus a few thousand extra to help me with the maintenance payments until this whole thing is over? The divorce should be final hopefully within a couple months and my attorney seems to think I shouldn't have to pay maintenance for more than about 6 months. Will they let you borrow from 401k for this?

 

[wolfofmine]

Alimony/spousal support

To Stupidme,
A very unhappy situation for you and highly stressful.
I understand where you are coming from. I was married for 25 years and helped raise two children. Mt ex and I both worked during the whole marriage. The marriage was hell for me bot I stuck it out until my kids were grown and had lives of their own. I took all the mental abuse I could and I left and moved in with someone else. At the time of the hearing for the decree of Seperate maintenance, I lived 1000 miles from the state where my ex lived. Becuase of some real bad decisions on my part, I was in Bankruptcy and could not afford the travel to court, and could not afford an attorney. I was told that probono services are only avaiable
in the state where the hearing is being held.
I had no money, no assets except for my vehicle, and because of some underhanded dealing of my ex, I was making payments to the IRS every month besides my withholding.
Know something? NO ONE CARES!!
No one cares if you can make those payments or not.
My ex was making more money than I was, so the way they get around that fact, is to base the alimony on "your potential
for income". The Judge can say to you that you have to get a job making a certain amount of money so you can give your ex the same standard of living that she was used to before the split. They will also say that even though you both have the same level of education and work history, that your ex doesnt have to make the kind of salary you are required to make. And you must subsidize her income for the rest of her or your (which ever comes first) life.
Another thing, you cant appeal a divorce decree in Family court. You probably could go through the motions, but I can tell you now you will not win even if you can get anyone to listen to you. Lawyers dont want to challenge a Judges decree, because they have to practice in that Judges court everyday and they will not jepordize their career for you.
And even if you do find one to represent you, you will discover that the decree can only be appealed if you can prove the Judge made an error in the application of the laws in your state. At this point, non-payment of alimony, is not an extriditable offense.
But they certainly will sentence you to a jail term for up to a year for contempt in a lot of states. I find this to be counterproductive and not logical because if they really needed help financially, they sure cant get it from someone who is locked up in Jail. Dont be fooled by the ambigious terms they use, when they say that the alimony law has to be qualified by the ability of the spouse to pay, because that is not the way it works. They dont care what you actually earn, they dont care of you are forced into poverty by a vengeful spouse either. I owed around 15,000.00 dollars to my ex in alimony and debt, I applied for a loan using the equity in my Mom's house, guess what? The companies will not loan you money if they see that you are going to pay this money in alimony. They consider you a bad risk, if you are not paying the court ordered alimony on your own.
I hate to be the bearer of this kind of news, but it happens everyday.

 

[stupidme]

Just to let you know how it all turned out...went to court today...skipping all the details...the judge said that due to the length of the marriage i would only have to pay her 1 more month maintenance ($1000) and that would be the end of it!! Then we can schedule a final divorce hearing and it will all be over forever and ever amen!! Thanks everyone who responded to my ads. Merry Christmas to all.

 

[wolfofmine]

Stupidme

Thats GREAT news! dont make the same mistake twice.