What is the name of your state? montana
This really isn't a legal question, I was just wondering what anyone might suggest as a solution to my problem. My step son just turned 13. He lives with his mom and step dad 70 miles away in another city, even though there is no custody agreement. For about the last 2 years, we haven't been able to see him very often because his mom is starting to limit his visits. Every time he can come and visit, we drive over and get him and we also bring him back. His dad pays child support, provides insurance and if he ever needs money for something all he or his mom have to do is ask. Well, ever since we bought two new vehicles, got a dog and bought a new house, his Mom has been coming up with every excuse as to why he can't come visit. He is supposed to spend summers with us and wanted to get a job as a paperboy when he got here, but she got him a job delivering phone books and then a paper route so he couldn't come over, etc. Every time we call his house and the mom answers, she says he's not there, If you call back 2 minutes later and one of her other kids answers the phone, then he's there. Half the time she tells you he isn't there, or he was there but she doesn't know where he is, or just flat out "I don't know where he is." This all came to a head this weekend because he had a hockey game in our city and we had made arrangements for him to stay with us and we would take him to his games and home on Sunday night. Well, we waited and waited and never heard from him, so we called them and there was never an answer. On Sunday night we called their house and our son said that he wanted to call us on Saturday, as planned, but his mom wouldn't let him. He told us she tells people that my family is a "bunch of alcoholics" and told her son that we pay $50.00 a month in child support (try 4 times that much) so we don't deserve to see him. He told us that she said we didn't pay anything toward his hockey (they never asked us) so we don't deserve to see him play. He told us that she gets mad if he mentions our new truck or house, because she says he "never gets excited" when her family gets something new. I feel she is manipulating him and that makes her a very poor mother. Once, when he was staying with us over Christmas, a last minute hockey practive was called and so she called to tell him he had to come back home "right now." we had other plans made ahead of time, so he told her he'd miss the practice and that he'd call his team captain to explain why. she hung up on her 13 year old son and when he tried to call her back, she'd slam down the phone when she heard it was him. should we just go get a lawyer and get a custody agreement? i don't want to be nasty and i don't want to not be able to see him while the whole legal thing is going on. can she keep him away from us with no custody agreement? is montana a state where the mother gets default custody? do you think it would be beneficial/harmful to write her and the step dad a letter asking what we can do to resolve the issue? i haven't mentioned lawyers yet - should i? what would you do? we just want to see our "son" every other weekend and in the summer. thank you for any help you can give.
This really isn't a legal question, I was just wondering what anyone might suggest as a solution to my problem. My step son just turned 13. He lives with his mom and step dad 70 miles away in another city, even though there is no custody agreement. For about the last 2 years, we haven't been able to see him very often because his mom is starting to limit his visits. Every time he can come and visit, we drive over and get him and we also bring him back. His dad pays child support, provides insurance and if he ever needs money for something all he or his mom have to do is ask. Well, ever since we bought two new vehicles, got a dog and bought a new house, his Mom has been coming up with every excuse as to why he can't come visit. He is supposed to spend summers with us and wanted to get a job as a paperboy when he got here, but she got him a job delivering phone books and then a paper route so he couldn't come over, etc. Every time we call his house and the mom answers, she says he's not there, If you call back 2 minutes later and one of her other kids answers the phone, then he's there. Half the time she tells you he isn't there, or he was there but she doesn't know where he is, or just flat out "I don't know where he is." This all came to a head this weekend because he had a hockey game in our city and we had made arrangements for him to stay with us and we would take him to his games and home on Sunday night. Well, we waited and waited and never heard from him, so we called them and there was never an answer. On Sunday night we called their house and our son said that he wanted to call us on Saturday, as planned, but his mom wouldn't let him. He told us she tells people that my family is a "bunch of alcoholics" and told her son that we pay $50.00 a month in child support (try 4 times that much) so we don't deserve to see him. He told us that she said we didn't pay anything toward his hockey (they never asked us) so we don't deserve to see him play. He told us that she gets mad if he mentions our new truck or house, because she says he "never gets excited" when her family gets something new. I feel she is manipulating him and that makes her a very poor mother. Once, when he was staying with us over Christmas, a last minute hockey practive was called and so she called to tell him he had to come back home "right now." we had other plans made ahead of time, so he told her he'd miss the practice and that he'd call his team captain to explain why. she hung up on her 13 year old son and when he tried to call her back, she'd slam down the phone when she heard it was him. should we just go get a lawyer and get a custody agreement? i don't want to be nasty and i don't want to not be able to see him while the whole legal thing is going on. can she keep him away from us with no custody agreement? is montana a state where the mother gets default custody? do you think it would be beneficial/harmful to write her and the step dad a letter asking what we can do to resolve the issue? i haven't mentioned lawyers yet - should i? what would you do? we just want to see our "son" every other weekend and in the summer. thank you for any help you can give.