Many issues At a loss Judge has it out for me

[TJNJmom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Ok so here's the story I am trying to make it short but sweet.
Background- Had a custody order in effect. Every other friday overnight to saturday that was it because the ex is violent and the child doesn't want much to do with him as well the judge stated the child needs counseling with the dad before he can get full weekend. My ex moved away about 45 mins as well. He is not supplying med insurance or paying med bills for the child. He's behind on child support and just had it lowered. There was a verbally abusive issue I brought him to court to suspend visits I was denied...Here is the issue now....
He filed with the court for these things
1-extended weekend visits
2-that I pick my daughter up almost 1 hour away at his home
3-to claim my child on his taxes
4-to get the child for 1 week in the summer
5-to get child support lowered

SO...I was never served! He got all of the first 3 without me being there of course. I hired an attorney we filed for reconsideration but also asked that my ex be responsible for half of my daughter's braces bill as well as half of her non covered medical bills. I stated that I have gone to his home to pick up the child with police and he was violent with the police. I stated that he's not supporting the child more than 50% why file? I stated that he was to do counseling before obtaining full weekend visits...the judge did it on paper and I was not to appear before him
I get a call from the lawyer today stating that the judge states on the new order ALL REQUESTS MADE BY THE PLAINTIFF HAVE BEEN DENIED PRIOR ORDER NOT TO BE MODIFIED

I feel this is completely unfair I have paid $9000 into attorneys in the last 3 years and I am getting nowhere I am at a loss and don't know what else to do because I can't give up this fight. Everyone that hears of this is in absolute shock. My ex was a drug addict and had many issues with the law, he never wants to pay for his child and doesn't see her half the time, and he has problems with violence how is he getting away with this?

 

[TJNJmom]

I wasn't posting to vent I NEED assistance on what to do next or how to get past this judge and get to another one who will actually look at my file because it seems as though the judge doesn't care for me and sides with my ex and does not go through my file when ruling....can someone help?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Ok so here's the story I am trying to make it short but sweet.
Background- Had a custody order in effect. Every other friday overnight to saturday that was it because the ex is violent and the child doesn't want much to do with him as well the judge stated the child needs counseling with the dad before he can get full weekend. My ex moved away about 45 mins as well. He is not supplying med insurance or paying med bills for the child. He's behind on child support and just had it lowered. There was a verbally abusive issue I brought him to court to suspend visits I was denied...Here is the issue now....
He filed with the court for these things
1-extended weekend visits
2-that I pick my daughter up almost 1 hour away at his home
3-to claim my child on his taxes
4-to get the child for 1 week in the summer
5-to get child support lowered

SO...I was never served! He got all of the first 3 without me being there of course. I hired an attorney we filed for reconsideration but also asked that my ex be responsible for half of my daughter's braces bill as well as half of her non covered medical bills. I stated that I have gone to his home to pick up the child with police and he was violent with the police. I stated that he's not supporting the child more than 50% why file? I stated that he was to do counseling before obtaining full weekend visits...the judge did it on paper and I was not to appear before him
I get a call from the lawyer today stating that the judge states on the new order ALL REQUESTS MADE BY THE PLAINTIFF HAVE BEEN DENIED PRIOR ORDER NOT TO BE MODIFIED

I feel this is completely unfair I have paid $9000 into attorneys in the last 3 years and I am getting nowhere I am at a loss and don't know what else to do because I can't give up this fight. Everyone that hears of this is in absolute shock. My ex was a drug addict and had many issues with the law, he never wants to pay for his child and doesn't see her half the time, and he has problems with violence how is he getting away with this?

Sounds like venting to me

So what does your attorney say about this?

You blast the man, yet he was good enough to create a child with...

 

[Silverplum]

I think part of the problem is that you keep re-arguing settled points. The judge clearly doesn't like that and has now made that very clear.

Move forward to flourish.

 

[not2cleverRed]

You're lucky.

A relative in NJ spent several times that in legal fees. Her ex is a lawyer with diagnosed mental health issues. And that's just over visitation.

It's slow, it's expensive, and it requires a lot of patience. It also requires being able to calmly state a valid reason and having the documentation to back it up.

Get the kid into counseling - its as important as the braces.

Also, my relative has found that "therapeutic visits" (I think that's what it's called) involving father and child have been very helpful.

 

[Just Blue]

Posting Hx.

 

[davidmcbeth3]

You blast the man, yet he was good enough to create a child with...

You always say this .... you must like pointing this out ... he was really only good enough to do the umpa-loompa with -- the kid is just a consequence

 

[davidmcbeth3]

Did the judge agree to the motion to reconsider? Sounds like it should have been approved (if you were not served).

 

[mistoffolees]

Posting Hx.

That's for sure.

 

[TJNJmom]

Antigone...not venting I am so fed up with the fact that I was never served the man won everything that was previously denied when he asked for it and when I put in the motion to reconsider because I wasn't served the paperwork came back saying all requests are denied. As well I AM blasting him because I had a child with him 10 years ago wyen I was 21 and he was a very different person then. He wasn't an addict he wasn't abusive in the beginning. As well when we split he moved on and had another family and forgot about my daughter for a year and a half didn't call, didn't pay, didn't try to see her...nothing, so yes I have the right to blast him!

Notoclever...I have spent a total of $14k on this in the last 7 years that's just what I spent in the last 3....

David...the judge looked at the motion and said all requests have been denied that's it no explanation and being that here the motions to reconsider are done on paper I couldn't be there to say a word about it so I NEVER got the chance to speak. As well I don't think that he even looked at any of the supporting information when he looked at the motion. If he did he would see that the hour drive I make up there is not only costly but it's not a good situation for my daughter my ex is violent his girlfriend came running after my car one day the police have said to me that I SHOULD NOT go alone so with that said why is the judge telling me I still have to go there to pick her up? He didn't look at the fact that my ex was supposed to do counseling before extended visits were to be granted and he didn't look at the medical bills or the fact that my ex is so behind on child support and doesn't see the child much nor pay for much so he shouldn't be able to file for her on taxes.

With all of this said...my attorney said there isn't much I can do and I feel that it is an injustice to both me and my child. He said I can get a letter from the police department and hope the judge will look at this but that's about it.

My question is does anyone know WHAT I can do next so the judge will hear my case? He won't even hear it he's just awarding whatever my ex wants and not looking out for my daughter's or my best interest

 

[TJNJmom]

Posting Hx.

What does this mean? Curious I am so beyond upset over this situation and I am just looking for help

 

[davidmcbeth3]

I put in the motion to reconsider ---
.the judge looked at the motion and said all requests have been denied ... I couldn't be there to say a word about it so I NEVER got the chance to speak.

So it appears as if the judge did consider your motion to reconsider and denied it. Since you have an attny, you would not have been able to speak anyway even if you were there.

And he denied your motion for reconsideration (clearly he was not swayed with your argument that you were not served) which leaves the judge in the position of moving forward with the case. And a judge can decide to rule on just the papers which is why any motions that need exhibits to support them should have those exhibits attached to the motion.

Its quite possible that the judge looked at all the facts and is making rulings that he feels are appropriate; its just that you feel that the rulings are biased.

And if your husband was violent with the police he would be in jail now .. police tend to discourage this type of behavior. So on this point, I think that you are transcribing an incident through less than rose colored glasses.

There is little we can do from here; if you have specific questions please feel free to post them.

 

[Antigone*]

You always say this .... you must like pointing this out ... he was really only good enough to do the umpa-loompa with -- the kid is just a consequence

back to the village with you.

You really show how juvenile you are when you speak in absolutes.

 

[TJNJmom]

So it appears as if the judge did consider your motion to reconsider and denied it. Since you have an attny, you would not have been able to speak anyway even if you were there.

And he denied your motion for reconsideration (clearly he was not swayed with your argument that you were not served) which leaves the judge in the position of moving forward with the case. And a judge can decide to rule on just the papers which is why any motions that need exhibits to support them should have those exhibits attached to the motion.

Its quite possible that the judge looked at all the facts and is making rulings that he feels are appropriate; its just that you feel that the rulings are biased.

And if your husband was violent with the police he would be in jail now .. police tend to discourage this type of behavior. So on this point, I think that you are transcribing an incident through less than rose colored glasses.

There is little we can do from here; if you have specific questions please feel free to post them.

David the police did NOT arrest him but I do have an incident report and thereafter my ex filed charges against the police for verbal abuse. So although you may think I am exaggerating the story I am stating the facts. There was all of this included in this motion this is why I feel as though the judge did not look at the supporting information. I have a statement from the police officer that says he does not recommend I pick up my child without the police because he is concerned for my safety.
I DO believe the judge is being biased as my ex has already gone into court and tried to paint me as a bad parent I can only imagine what he said when I did not appear. With that said I don't know how not being served is not a good enough excuse because after not being served and then receiving an order in the mail there was apparently an ammended order that was placed that I was never served with either. So I feel as though the case should in fact be heard.

As well I am wondering why my ex was denied all of this just a month before he then filed again and it was all granted to him? This all is very assinine to me.

 

[TJNJmom]

Just wanted to update I spoke with 2 attorneys today. One told me that my case has been so botched up she wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole because this is going to be a long costly battle and she too felt the judge was being biased as well she told me my best bet was to appeal and many lawyers won't want to challenge this. The other attorney had my file in front of her and was in absolute disgust and said to me she has to do her research because it's obvious the judge is questioning my integrity which doesn't make sense being that the facts are all in front of him and she will work on something but is trying to figure out what to do because once the judge makes a ruling there is not much that can be done. She happens to be one of the best in this area but I am worried because this is so costly and she has never even seen something this crazy