Mediation in custody case?

[SandieTN]

Mediation in custody case? and Interrogatories?

What is the name of your state? TN

The Judge has asked the question if mediation would be helpful in our case.

Both parties want custody of the 6yo daughter. BF (my husband) has records of overnights for the last 3 years showing 60%. BM has had custody the entire time; they separated when the BM first found out she was pregnant. The divorce was finalized when the child was only 4 months old. The MDA stated was subject to modification when the child was three. Nothing was filed legally, as the BM was always cooperative, until now.

Has anyone had any experience with mediation, good or bad? We're just wondering if this is something we should persue. My opinion is if the BM refuses, it looks bad; and if she participates and shows herself, it looks worse. But Hubby is not sure. Any opinions welcomed!

EDIT: Hubby received a set of interrogatories, some of which are way out there. I think the attorney used the same one he normally sends in a divorce case. The questions mainly pertain to assets and debts, not about the child. Some questions were standard, name address, etc., witnesses. and income. But everything else was about assets transferred, debts, pension plans, etc. Our attorney is out of town, and we don't have her to ask about objections.

The only questions relevant to our case were about what were we planning to base our "material change in circumstance" on and what we consider "danger of harm" to the child. These, we can answer. But the others are ridiculous for a custody case.

How much of this will we have to answer? Do we have to provide things such as credit card debts? They are even asking for account numbers, and copies of statements.

 

[tammy8]

I can't honestly say that I know of one successful custody case to go to mediation and it work there.

My husband's ex got mad and walked out but because in our state mediation records are confidential, it didn't matter when he finally saw a judge. Basically if mediation could work, then the 2 would have worked it out without having to do a court battle anyway.

Good luck.

 

[VeronicaGia]

The judge is hoping the parties can act like adults and work this out. I wouldn't refuse mediation since the judge may think the person refusing to mediate will be uncooperative. At least be willing to try it if for no other reason than to show a willingness to cooperate to the judge.

 

[SandieTN]

BM called Hubby today to complain about some things, and hubby reminded her of what the Judge said. He told them both Monday in court that after the court proceeding is over, they still have a child to raise. He said BM wouldn't even answer him.

Hubby has tried in the past to work out an agreement, but BM refused to file it in court. Last August, he offered joint custody, and continue paying child support; but she refused to do it legally. So, she may not go for mediation.

 

[SandieTN]

update

Our attorney talked to BM's attorney re:mediation. He said BM wants full custody, full support, standard visitation, no negotiation. That ends that!

Tennessee has a new law, defining "material change of circumstance" in child custody modifications, including as follows:

1. changes in the needs of the child over time (original MDA was when child was 3 months old, she is now 6 years old; big change)

2. changes in the parent's living or working condition (BM has not worked in 2 years, and has just moved in with her Mom; they have no permanent home, and school district has changed)

3. failure to adhere to the parenting plan (original MDA allowed H Saturday 10:00 a.m. until Sunday 5:00 p.m., every other week; we have records the last 3 years where H has had daughter 60+% of overnights)

Does this sound like it will be helpful in this case?