What is the name of your state? California
I’ve posted before on this site and the information I’ve received has been invaluable! Especially since $$ is an issue. Thank you all.
I do have questions concerning my case about the pros and cons of mediation vs. family court. 2 years ago I went through my $250/hr mediator to negotiate 50/50 custody with my ex. The document says I have 100% custody of my son, 8, while she has 100% of my daughter, 7, and we split legal. I pay $238/month because of income differences for CS, medical and life Ins. Alimony is currently over. We live close by and visitation has not been a problem. I was satisfied with that arrangement and it saved me $$ and pain for all involved by staying out of courts. I did have to fight for this- I had majority custody in real life and was by far the primary care giver- but at least it finally worked.
She announced to me she was getting married on Nov 25th and married Dec 31st to a military member and wants to move the kids to NC in a month. I am for WHATEVER is better for the kids. I spend a lot of time with them and love them very much. I want to raise my kids… and I’m not done doing that. They also have family and friends here. I realize since I will be working and she will be a stay-at-home mom it would be easier for her to have them. Again, I want what is BEST for them. However, here are some numbers that my now $425/hr mediator gave me today assuming they move. I make 48k/yr. She doesn’t work but the mediator allotted 24k/yr for her income. New hubby makes 56k/yr. My 50/50 has now turned into 16% custody on my end since I will only see them on vacations and holidays. The newest Dissomaster showed my payments as $940/month. IMO- a lot MORE to pay for a wrecked heart. After taxes I make about $2800/month- minus $940.. well, you get the picture. I have rent, truck payment, phone bill.. no CC’s. (the bankruptcy from my divorce did that) I won’t be able to survive on this. To top it off I will be paying for travel until my rearrage is paid. The travel will be about $3200/yr. This makes it totally impossible to see my kids. Question is- I don’t have money, but should I take this to court? Will they think this is Fair?? I hate for this to sound like it isn’t about the kids.. but I need to save/have Money too!
My bad= I owe about about $3200 in rearrage because of no job. Currently paying.
The kids have been late to school several times.
Her bad= she has denied custody in the past for 2 months!
I honestly fear her attitude of our kids not being a part of my life is apparent. The denial of visitation and many other comments I get. Which I ignore.
I will get our new contract in the mail soon. Would it behoove me to fight in courts? Should I just ask for a little more room, or perhaps even the kids? By FAR, in my experience, the system is biased to the female. As I left, the mediator says “pay CS, out of all your bills it’s the only one that will make you go to jail” I said, “My bills are intertwined.. no truck, no job to pay CS… no home, no visitation.. etc.” And me being in jail will really help out the kids. I guess, I would like some realistic advise please… what is my best bet?thanks….
I’ve posted before on this site and the information I’ve received has been invaluable! Especially since $$ is an issue. Thank you all.
I do have questions concerning my case about the pros and cons of mediation vs. family court. 2 years ago I went through my $250/hr mediator to negotiate 50/50 custody with my ex. The document says I have 100% custody of my son, 8, while she has 100% of my daughter, 7, and we split legal. I pay $238/month because of income differences for CS, medical and life Ins. Alimony is currently over. We live close by and visitation has not been a problem. I was satisfied with that arrangement and it saved me $$ and pain for all involved by staying out of courts. I did have to fight for this- I had majority custody in real life and was by far the primary care giver- but at least it finally worked.
She announced to me she was getting married on Nov 25th and married Dec 31st to a military member and wants to move the kids to NC in a month. I am for WHATEVER is better for the kids. I spend a lot of time with them and love them very much. I want to raise my kids… and I’m not done doing that. They also have family and friends here. I realize since I will be working and she will be a stay-at-home mom it would be easier for her to have them. Again, I want what is BEST for them. However, here are some numbers that my now $425/hr mediator gave me today assuming they move. I make 48k/yr. She doesn’t work but the mediator allotted 24k/yr for her income. New hubby makes 56k/yr. My 50/50 has now turned into 16% custody on my end since I will only see them on vacations and holidays. The newest Dissomaster showed my payments as $940/month. IMO- a lot MORE to pay for a wrecked heart. After taxes I make about $2800/month- minus $940.. well, you get the picture. I have rent, truck payment, phone bill.. no CC’s. (the bankruptcy from my divorce did that) I won’t be able to survive on this. To top it off I will be paying for travel until my rearrage is paid. The travel will be about $3200/yr. This makes it totally impossible to see my kids. Question is- I don’t have money, but should I take this to court? Will they think this is Fair?? I hate for this to sound like it isn’t about the kids.. but I need to save/have Money too!
My bad= I owe about about $3200 in rearrage because of no job. Currently paying.
The kids have been late to school several times.
Her bad= she has denied custody in the past for 2 months!
I honestly fear her attitude of our kids not being a part of my life is apparent. The denial of visitation and many other comments I get. Which I ignore.
I will get our new contract in the mail soon. Would it behoove me to fight in courts? Should I just ask for a little more room, or perhaps even the kids? By FAR, in my experience, the system is biased to the female. As I left, the mediator says “pay CS, out of all your bills it’s the only one that will make you go to jail” I said, “My bills are intertwined.. no truck, no job to pay CS… no home, no visitation.. etc.” And me being in jail will really help out the kids. I guess, I would like some realistic advise please… what is my best bet?thanks….
You could ask the court mediator to deduct costs of transportation from CS amount.
