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mediationproblems

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socalguy27

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? CA

Thanks for the valuable advice "djohnson" and "nextwife" to the topic "vacationpay". shall keep your tips in mind and use it in the next mediation meeting we have.

we have had half a dozen mediation meetings now, over ten hours total. after all this, we are back to square-one. we discuss/negotiate about a few things each meeting and then she comes back the following meeting and says she does not agree to anything, and starts re-negotiating. the points she's bringing up are getting more un-reasonable by the day. so far, i've had to compromise on every topic we talk about. i have a bunch of questions, can i please get some advice:

1. is that how mediation usually proceeds, or is this a really hopeless case? should i still stick to this or just simply go for litigation? any advice on how to turn the table?
2. if i change the mediator, do you think the situation might improve? i think the problem is that the mediator is equally frustrated - the other day he mentioned this is one of the worst cases of mediation he's seen in 30 years.
3. if we get a different mediator, is the date of separation going to remain the same, or that changes too? i know she really wants that, as that means she's going to get more money
4. she's been calling my relatives and saying nasty things about me. is there any legal action i can take against that?
5. she keeps asking for more and more documents from me, and i wanted to get done with the divorce fast, so i have not asked anything from her. is that a wrong move in mediation?

thanks a lot for reading. look forward to hearing your advice/suggestions.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
socalguy27 said:
What is the name of your state? CA

Thanks for the valuable advice "djohnson" and "nextwife" to the topic "vacationpay". shall keep your tips in mind and use it in the next mediation meeting we have.

we have had half a dozen mediation meetings now, over ten hours total. after all this, we are back to square-one. we discuss/negotiate about a few things each meeting and then she comes back the following meeting and says she does not agree to anything, and starts re-negotiating. the points she's bringing up are getting more un-reasonable by the day. so far, i've had to compromise on every topic we talk about. i have a bunch of questions, can i please get some advice:

1. is that how mediation usually proceeds, or is this a really hopeless case? should i still stick to this or just simply go for litigation? any advice on how to turn the table?
2. if i change the mediator, do you think the situation might improve? i think the problem is that the mediator is equally frustrated - the other day he mentioned this is one of the worst cases of mediation he's seen in 30 years.
3. if we get a different mediator, is the date of separation going to remain the same, or that changes too? i know she really wants that, as that means she's going to get more money
4. she's been calling my relatives and saying nasty things about me. is there any legal action i can take against that?
5. she keeps asking for more and more documents from me, and i wanted to get done with the divorce fast, so i have not asked anything from her. is that a wrong move in mediation?

thanks a lot for reading. look forward to hearing your advice/suggestions.

If you haven't gotten anywhere after 1/2 dozen mediation sessions....then mediation is probably not going to work for you. Changing mediators is unlikely to make it any better.

How long were you married? What are the main sticking points? If there is anything that YOU are being unreasonable about...then bending on those issues might get her to bend on things that she is being unreasonable about.
If not....then it probably time to let the judge decide.
 

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