Military Divorce!!!!

[lilapple21]

CA....so im going through a divorce right now with a navy guy...the reason we are getting a diovrce among other things are because he was unfaithful many times...including while he was in iraq.....so i called his command and they dont seem to care...so what else can i do!?!?....or how could i know if is command is going to do anything??!...i tried talking to the chaplain but i guess his unit doent have one.....so how much trouble can he get!?!?....do i need to show evidence?!!?...because i have emails that he send to his friends about the affairs...and he told me too....but now he is saying that he was just lying to piss me off.....so what can i do?!?!.....i also know that he was doing drugs while in the military...and he has a driniking problem too....should i tell his command or do they even care?!?!

 

[fozzy2]

The command may not care. It is possible they investigated and decided the case does not merit action under the UCMJ, or maybe they just like him and don't give a hoot what he has done. Either way, there may be something you can do...

For adultery to be punishable under the UCMJ it must generally cause damage to "morale or discipline". If you were thousands of miles away and no one from his unit even knew you, then his misdeeds may have harmed you but probably didn't harm his unit --- thus no UCMJ action. However, the command was supposed to investigate when you reported it, someone may have just thrown the complaint in a wastebasket, however. There is another fact. If this adultery took place in Iraq then it very likely involved another service member, and this makes it very possible that "fraternization" took place. Fraternization is generally more serious, and more easily proven, than adultery.

Secondly, you allege alcohol problems and drug use. Granted, you are in a divorce and that makes complaints (both ways) questionable, but this should generally be taken extremely seriously by his command. Once again, there should have been an investigation, at least.

What can you do? If you have evidence of a crime (drug abuse in particular) you can contact NCIS. You might also, particularly if you feel the command just ignored you, contact the Navy Inspector General office. They have some very hand web pages explaining in more detail who to contact in what kind of situation. Read their guidance carefully. For example:

http://www.ig.navy.mil/Complaints (A-C).htm

 

[badapple40]

STOP AND THINK.

You realize that if you are successful in getting him disciplined, he could get kicked out of the service. And that spousal support and/or child support, and piece of his retirement that you would otherwise see, it all goes bye bye.

However, if you want to cut your nose off to spite your face, I'd say doing what fozzy said is a good way to achieve that.

 

[lilapple21]

well we were only married for about a year and six months...and i been told i dont qualify to get any of his retirenment...and spousal support..well im not getting that much...so i dont really need it if he does get in trouble....

but yeah he was having affairs with two army women while in iraq....and i guess in one occasion they almost got caught....but she would say his name and she lost rank.....weeks later after that he was awarded an army award for excellence.....

but thank you very much for the help!!

 

[IrishLady47]

His command probably thinks you're a vindictive STBX and give no credence to anything you've alleged.

And, quite frankly, you are simply being vindictive. He cheated and you are divorcing him. Great, you're getting rid of a louse. Why do you care what happens to him in regards to his military career? Because you want him punished for cheating on you & realize your only chance of that is getting the military to do it. Note-you didn't think about reporting that drug & alcohol use while you were together, did you?

Getting revenge may seem sweet, but you will really feel better about yourself if you just GET OVER IT!