What's right
Hi, I'm in Tennessee. I filed for divorce in March of 2003. Well after the custody battle, (We have two children eight and eleven now), we had our "final" court date May 17 of 2004. The outcome was that I have custody of the kids. They are with me during the school year, and suppose to go to him every weekend. During the summer the kids are with him and see me every other weekend. On paper, it looks like he has the kids almost 40 percent of the time, so the papers say that he will pay for the kids extra curricular activities to make up for that 10% difference in residential time. The papers also say that anytime he can't be with the kids during his regular residential time with them that I get first right of refusal. I would never and have never refused of course. So, since May when the divorce was supposedly final (I'll explain) my daughter has been with me most or all of most weekends. My Son has been with me many weekends when he was on paper to go to Dad. That of course is what I want. The kid's Dad travels for a living, although last summer it was very limited, so that he could work from home, and be with the kids. He is normally out of town Tuesday thru Friday, with occassional really long trips. I am a teacher, and work the same hours the kids go to school, and of course have the summer months off to be with them, so realistically, the kids will be with me during the summer, because he has to work. Last summer, I was still working as an Engineer and working during the summer, so 2005 will be my first summer to be home.
I am not getting child support, and the financial burden is killing us. Anyway, I have not yet seen final divorce papers, and have an attorney I can not get in touch with. He fell in the bottle. So, last week I went to the court house to see what is filed there. The clerk said, "Hunny, you're still married". Screammmmmmmmm!!!!!! Well, the judge looked directly at me the day of the final court date, and said, "you are divorced. You don't even have to wait until the papers go through." Anyway, that's not what I'm worried about. It's that I just know that we should be getting child support and that the attorneys are trying to fiddle with the papers to make it look like equal time, and it's just not realistic. The ex husband told me that he would see the kids in state custody before he paid child support for the rest of his life, and I'll admit I believed him. He did a lot of things to try to make that happen, and I was very afraid of him. I'm not so afraid of him anymore, and I know I should have fought for everything to be put correctly on the papers to begin with, but I knew if we put it on there somehow so that he didn't have to pay child support he would eventually leave us alone. Also, now he can't come back and try to prove in a million nutty ways that I'm an unfit Mother. My children make straight A's in school, and are very happy little christian people. Their friends live here at my house it seems like, and I know all their parents. I also teach highschool math, which doesn't make me a good person, but does enable me to keep the same hours as the kids, and understand what the heck is going on in the education system.
So, I guess my question is. Knowing that the attorneys still have not gotten the papers through, six months past the final date, should I let them go through this way. Would a judge even let them go through with no child support ordered. Or should I leave things alone until summer comes and the kids are with me all during that time. We are dying with a thirty thousand a year salary, but I'm sure moving to teaching was the right thing to do. Someone has to pay extra attention to the kids, or they'll turn out like those hudlums I teach at the highschool. I do do some other things on the side that will bring good money later, but I really don't think that has anything to do with it. I'm lost and confused about what to do, and have an attorney who stays drunk so often that I can't get anything out of him. I'd like to ditch him and get all this behind me, but I can't afford to start a big expensive mess with a new attorney. Frankly, I think I could go to court with this on my own. I've been there enough times in the last two years to know how it works. What should I do? Should I go back right now, and get child support or wait until summer? I don't know the rules about all this, and don't really trust the court system. So often what seems logical to me is easily twisted by attorneys. Also, I know that my attorney has goofed up so many things that he does not want to show his face in front of this judge again. The judge wanted to know a year ago what was taking so long.
Hi, I'm in Tennessee. I filed for divorce in March of 2003. Well after the custody battle, (We have two children eight and eleven now), we had our "final" court date May 17 of 2004. The outcome was that I have custody of the kids. They are with me during the school year, and suppose to go to him every weekend. During the summer the kids are with him and see me every other weekend. On paper, it looks like he has the kids almost 40 percent of the time, so the papers say that he will pay for the kids extra curricular activities to make up for that 10% difference in residential time. The papers also say that anytime he can't be with the kids during his regular residential time with them that I get first right of refusal. I would never and have never refused of course. So, since May when the divorce was supposedly final (I'll explain) my daughter has been with me most or all of most weekends. My Son has been with me many weekends when he was on paper to go to Dad. That of course is what I want. The kid's Dad travels for a living, although last summer it was very limited, so that he could work from home, and be with the kids. He is normally out of town Tuesday thru Friday, with occassional really long trips. I am a teacher, and work the same hours the kids go to school, and of course have the summer months off to be with them, so realistically, the kids will be with me during the summer, because he has to work. Last summer, I was still working as an Engineer and working during the summer, so 2005 will be my first summer to be home.
I am not getting child support, and the financial burden is killing us. Anyway, I have not yet seen final divorce papers, and have an attorney I can not get in touch with. He fell in the bottle. So, last week I went to the court house to see what is filed there. The clerk said, "Hunny, you're still married". Screammmmmmmmm!!!!!! Well, the judge looked directly at me the day of the final court date, and said, "you are divorced. You don't even have to wait until the papers go through." Anyway, that's not what I'm worried about. It's that I just know that we should be getting child support and that the attorneys are trying to fiddle with the papers to make it look like equal time, and it's just not realistic. The ex husband told me that he would see the kids in state custody before he paid child support for the rest of his life, and I'll admit I believed him. He did a lot of things to try to make that happen, and I was very afraid of him. I'm not so afraid of him anymore, and I know I should have fought for everything to be put correctly on the papers to begin with, but I knew if we put it on there somehow so that he didn't have to pay child support he would eventually leave us alone. Also, now he can't come back and try to prove in a million nutty ways that I'm an unfit Mother. My children make straight A's in school, and are very happy little christian people. Their friends live here at my house it seems like, and I know all their parents. I also teach highschool math, which doesn't make me a good person, but does enable me to keep the same hours as the kids, and understand what the heck is going on in the education system.
So, I guess my question is. Knowing that the attorneys still have not gotten the papers through, six months past the final date, should I let them go through this way. Would a judge even let them go through with no child support ordered. Or should I leave things alone until summer comes and the kids are with me all during that time. We are dying with a thirty thousand a year salary, but I'm sure moving to teaching was the right thing to do. Someone has to pay extra attention to the kids, or they'll turn out like those hudlums I teach at the highschool. I do do some other things on the side that will bring good money later, but I really don't think that has anything to do with it. I'm lost and confused about what to do, and have an attorney who stays drunk so often that I can't get anything out of him. I'd like to ditch him and get all this behind me, but I can't afford to start a big expensive mess with a new attorney. Frankly, I think I could go to court with this on my own. I've been there enough times in the last two years to know how it works. What should I do? Should I go back right now, and get child support or wait until summer? I don't know the rules about all this, and don't really trust the court system. So often what seems logical to me is easily twisted by attorneys. Also, I know that my attorney has goofed up so many things that he does not want to show his face in front of this judge again. The judge wanted to know a year ago what was taking so long.
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