modifying a child custody order

[tiamaria707]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ca..
My childrens father does not consistently adhere to the custody agreement arriving late or not at all (my employer is willing to write a letter to support that, b/c the times he was late caused me to miss staff meetings, trainings etc). He has also driven w/ the girls after consuming alcohol which i witnessed but have no proof of. He picks up the children from my sister who is our sitter after he has been drinking, he has someone else drive him. But the children are in his care and he is impaired. He has returned the girls to me w/ feces in their hair and nails (this I have proof of). Is this enough to successfully pursue a modification of custody?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ca..
My childrens father does not consistently adhere to the custody agreement arriving late or not at all (my employer is willing to write a letter to support that, b/c the times he was late caused me to miss staff meetings, trainings etc). He has also driven w/ the girls after consuming alcohol which i witnessed but have no proof of.

You let him drunk drive with the kids?

You didn't call the police?

You're equally culpable, I'm afraid.

He picks up the children from my sister who is our sitter after he has been drinking, he has someone else drive him. But the children are in his care and he is impaired. He has returned the girls to me w/ feces in their hair and nails (this I have proof of). Is this enough to successfully pursue a modification of custody?

What have you done about this?

Have you called ANY of the relevant authorities?

 

[tiamaria707]

No, I didn't let him. The night he drove drunk with them, he came by my house unannounced at 1 in the morning with the girls in the car. I promptly removed them, and made him sleep on the couch so he wasn't out drunk driving. In regards to the feces, I was instructed to take pictures, which I did, and if that type of neglect was repeated to contact authorities, as of yet it hasn't. I'll get them back from a visit w/ their father and they aren't as clean as I would like them to be, but no where near the neglectfulness of feces in the hair.

 

[Proserpina]

No, I didn't let him. The night he drove drunk with them, he came by my house unannounced at 1 in the morning with the girls in the car. I promptly removed them, and made him sleep on the couch so he wasn't out drunk driving.

You did nothing about it = it didn't happen (legally speaking).

In regards to the feces, I was instructed to take pictures, which I did, and if that type of neglect was repeated to contact authorities, as of yet it hasn't.

Taking pictures proves nothing.

I'll get them back from a visit w/ their father and they aren't as clean as I would like them to be, but no where near the neglectfulness of feces in the hair.

Seriously - I see nothing coming even close to justifying a modification at this point.

You have no proof of anything.

 

[tiamaria707]

So, despite the fact that he does not adhere to a court ordered schedule, which has caused me to miss apointments and job oriented trainings etc, has a hx of DUI convictions, and, despite me having no paper proof, have witnessed him driving w/ the girls under the influence....and the picture of the feces, and I have witnesses to the fact (failed to mention that)...I don't have enough to request a modification??

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ca..
My childrens father does not consistently adhere to the custody agreement arriving late or not at all (my employer is willing to write a letter to support that, b/c the times he was late caused me to miss staff meetings, trainings etc). He has also driven w/ the girls after consuming alcohol which i witnessed but have no proof of. He picks up the children from my sister who is our sitter after he has been drinking, he has someone else drive him. But the children are in his care and he is impaired. He has returned the girls to me w/ feces in their hair and nails (this I have proof of). Is this enough to successfully pursue a modification of custody?

Your employer doesn't know that you were late because of your ex. Your employer knows that you told him you were late because of your ex. Hence that is double hearsay and inadmissible. Unless he was arrested for DUI, there is nothing illegal after driving after consuming alcohol. How did the feces get in their hair and nails? How old are the children? What proof do you have that the hair and nails containing feces was HIS fault? Did you have the feces examined by a lab that can tell you it was feces and NOT dirt?

 

[Ohiogal]

No, I didn't let him. The night he drove drunk with them, he came by my house unannounced at 1 in the morning with the girls in the car. I promptly removed them, and made him sleep on the couch so he wasn't out drunk driving. In regards to the feces, I was instructed to take pictures, which I did, and if that type of neglect was repeated to contact authorities, as of yet it hasn't. I'll get them back from a visit w/ their father and they aren't as clean as I would like them to be, but no where near the neglectfulness of feces in the hair.

Pictures don't mean it is feces. It could be dirt. As for the drinking and driving, you have NO EVIDENCE of that. You are not able to determine that he was drunk. Them not being as clean as you would like them -- parenting difference. You have no evidence to change custody.

 

[Ohiogal]

So, despite the fact that he does not adhere to a court ordered schedule, which has caused me to miss apointments and job oriented trainings etc, has a hx of DUI convictions, and, despite me having no paper proof, have witnessed him driving w/ the girls under the influence....and the picture of the feces, and I have witnesses to the fact (failed to mention that)...I don't have enough to request a modification??

Any of the convictions since the last custody order? Any of the convictions with the children in the car?
The picture does NOT prove it was feces and not dirt. You being late matters not because no one witnessed it was because of dad not adhering to a court schedule. Why didn't you have daycare or backup plan in place?

 

[tiamaria707]

Your employer doesn't know that you were late because of your ex. Your employer knows that you told him you were late because of your ex. Hence that is double hearsay and inadmissible. Unless he was arrested for DUI, there is nothing illegal after driving after consuming alcohol. How did the feces get in their hair and nails? How old are the children? What proof do you have that the hair and nails containing feces was HIS fault? Did you have the feces examined by a lab that can tell you it was feces and NOT dirt?

The days that affected work are the days that according to the schedule he was supposed to get them at a certain time which he didn't...I have text messages to support that he didn't get them on time (msgs we sent back and forth)...and he was convicted of DUI's, lost his license...etc...was I supposed to get the feces examined...it smelled like feces...I have no idea if it was theirs, his dogs, or even his...but it was feces...thanks you all for your advice...its great to know that in the state of california a man can completely disregard a court ordered schedule, put his children in danger, and get away with completely neglectful behavior, and continue to have children in his care...simply because mom didn't take feces to a lab, and felt the best thing to do to keep the general public safe is take away his keys and let him sleep off his drunken stupor...instead of sending him off into the night and putting someone else in danger. I think I'm gonna leave this free legal forum...and seek advice from a real attorney...

 

[tiamaria707]

thanks anyways