Moms live in has an active felony drug charge.

[FamilyAlways]

My son told me he went to jail and had to talk to Moms live in boyfriend through a glass. I immediately called Mom and asked why she had my son at a jail and what had her boyfriend done to land in jail. She insisted the boyfriend was a no show for court on a speeding ticket he had received. Uncomfortable my son was in jail and not understanding how someone could land in jail over a speeding ticket, I did a background check. I found indeed the boyfriend did get a speeding ticket. He also got a charge for marijuana, as well as possession of an illegal substance (cocaine). I contacted Mom again who claimed it wasn't true. I didn't press the point. She already had lied about the situation. I went to public records and found the ticket and marijuana charges had been dropped and the possession of an illegal substance had been moved to the circuit court. I went to the courthouse and filed for full custody and change of visitation. At the present time we share 50/50 custody. I didn't want to send my son back to Mom, but I felt I had to follow the custody order. I spoke to my sons guardian ad lietim, and he actually looked up the charges and informed me the felony charge was for cocaine. He advised I file paperwork to take Mom to court with this information. I went to the courthouse and filed paperwork for custody and change of visitation right away. I don't have a lawyer and have fought successfully for my son in the past. I'm wondering if I'm just beating my head against a wall, or if the court will actually do something to help protect my son.

 

[adjusterjack]

I'm wondering if I'm just beating my head against a wall

Even if it turns out that way, you still have to do it.

or if the court will actually do something to help protect my son.

No way to predict.

You'll just have to wait and see.

How old is your son?

 

[FamilyAlways]

Yes, no way I could not act on this situation. Some say it may make me look petty. That's not my intension at all, simply don't want my son in an environment that tells him drugs are ok. Unfortunately, there is little communication between us because she hides a lot of the truth. When I called to ask about the charges she swore he had no record ever. The background check showed that not to be true. Drug charges going back to 1999. Im aware the court wont hold any of that against him and Im not trying to bring it up in court. But it tells me a lot. Some say the most the court will do is to tell her to keep my son away from the man. In turn she wont, she will then just lie and hide more. My son is 5 years old.

 

[adjusterjack]

Some say it may make me look petty.

Those who say it are called idiots.

Some say the most the court will do is to tell her to keep my son away from the man.

That had occurred to me. At least it's something and it will be on record so the next time she doesn't comply you file for contempt.

My son is 5 years old.

Druggies and criminals are dangerous. You are right to pursue this. One can only hope that he gets sent up for a few years.

Were you able to determine if he has any priors?

 

[FamilyAlways]

3 marijuana charges. Two misdemeanor convictions, one Nolle Prosequi. Distribute Methamphetamine, Distribute Amphetamine, both resulted in Nolle Prosequi. 2 possession of cocaine charges, both Nolle Prosequi. And now the current charges. Court date is next month. Luckiest man in the world, right.

 

[adjusterjack]

Luckiest man in the world, right.

Hope his luck has run out.

I suspect that your ex is also a druggie. Losers associate with losers. When you get to custody court, point that out and ask the court to order an immediate drug test on your ex. Don't ask for it until the last minute. Druggies know how to trick the tests if they have warning.

 

[LdiJ]

Hope his luck has run out.

I suspect that your ex is also a druggie. Losers associate with losers. When you get to custody court, point that out and ask the court to order an immediate drug test on your ex. Don't ask for it until the last minute. Druggies know how to trick the tests if they have warning.

That could be a bit of a stretch AJ. We don't even know for certain that mom knows about her boyfriend's past. Or that mom knew anything more than the fact that he had a warrant on a speeding ticket.

Other than two pot misdemeanors everything else on his record was nolle prosequi.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Hope his luck has run out.

I suspect that your ex is also a druggie. Losers associate with losers. When you get to custody court, point that out and ask the court to order an immediate drug test on your ex. Don't ask for it until the last minute. Druggies know how to trick the tests if they have warning.

I concur.

It is not a stretch.

Are we to believe that the live in boyfriend never gave the kid a ride anywhere? Because if Mom considers the live in boyfriend important enough to bring her 5 year old along for a jailhouse visit, then I'd be surprised if the 5 year old was never a passenger in substitute dad's car - the car in which he speeds while in possession of drugs.

If Mom *weren't* a druggie, her reaction after the arrest and revelation of what the man's history was would highly motivate her to keep her child the heck away from the boyfriend.

 

[FamilyAlways]

Nolle Prosequi … My understanding is this sometimes happens when the prosecution feels that their case is weak. There are a number of other reasons as well. Perhaps, the guy rolled over and he helped the system catch a bigger fish. If one does not take action to have this expunged, along with the fingerprint record, it shows up as an arrest in a background check.

It was not my intent to come here to talk down Mom. Does she know of this guys past? Was she and my son with him when he got pulled over? I don't know the answer to these questions. I tend to have to seek the answers to most questions I have for her on my own as I have stated before. The only thing I do know is that the boyfriend is a long time friend of her Father. So, she grew up around the man. Her Father knows his past, Im positive of that. I never had much respect for her Father. This is just one reason why. I don't care who my Ex chooses to see, however I do care about the safety and well being of my son.

I looked into the length of time hard drugs stay in your system. Most are gone in just 48 hours. She has shown signs of abuse and when confronted I was told to fuck off, she would pass a test if the court requested one. Last time we went to court I requested a hair test and the court refused me.

 

[adjusterjack]

That could be a bit of a stretch AJ.

No, it isn't. If I told you about the druggie in my family, you'd understand where my comment came from. Druggies hang with druggies because nobody else will have them.

 

[LdiJ]

No, it isn't. If I told you about the druggie in my family, you'd understand where my comment came from. Druggies hang with druggies because nobody else will have them.

AJ, I don't discount your experience at all, but I can guarantee that virtually every one of us knows someone who partakes, but we would never know it from their outward appearance. There is no one description of someone who uses illegal drugs nor a guarantee that someone knows that their romantic partner is a "druggie".

 

[t74]

Mother's judgment is suspect. What reasonable person would take a 5 yo into a jail; it might be justified if the person was the other parent but just mom's BF - not smart!

 

[not2cleverRed]

Mother's judgment is suspect. What reasonable person would take a 5 yo into a jail; it might be justified if the person was the other parent but just mom's BF - not smart!

I take it as Mom seeing her boyfriend as "new" daddy.

 

[Just Blue]

Perhaps mom couldn't get a sitter...

Devils Advocate here...

 

[adjusterjack]

Giving Mom the benefit of the doubt (just for a second) maybe she was demonstrating to the child where he could end up if he didn't behave himself.



Time's up. Back to she's a druggie.