More Vistitation less money

[DelanaH]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma
I am probably going to give more info than needed. But....
I have a 10 year old Daughter
My ex is asking to have the child support lowered because he says he has taken a decrease in pay. I honestly don't see that this is possible, but its beside the point. He is also asking for more visitation. As it is now he has standard every other weekend and holiday vistitation. I also allow him to take her on special occasions. (Partys etc.) And I also allow His mother (my childs grandmother) special visits because he doesn't set our child see her very often. Now my ex is asking for an extra weekend a month and wants to have an over night visit during the week. He very rarely calls our child during the week. I don't think this is a good Idea since he doesnt live in the same school district. I have offered an evening visit once a week in addition to regular visitation. I told him that he could pick her up after school and have her home by 8. Is this reasonable negociation or am I being selfish. My selfish problem is that it will be his wife picking our daughter because he doesn't get home until 5

 

[stepmom&mom]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma
I am probably going to give more info than needed. But....
I have a 10 year old Daughter
My ex is asking to have the child support lowered because he says he has taken a decrease in pay. I honestly don't see that this is possible, but its beside the point.

If he asks for a modification, the courts or CSE will determine if there should be a reduction or not. He has the same right as you to request a modification.

He is also asking for more visitation. As it is now he has standard every other weekend and holiday vistitation. I also allow him to take her on special occasions. (Partys etc.) And I also allow His mother (my childs grandmother) special visits because he doesn't set our child see her very often. Now my ex is asking for an extra weekend a month and wants to have an over night visit during the week.

He can certainly request a modification to the visitation schedule and it will be up to the courts whether or not to grant it.

He very rarely calls our child during the week. I don't think this is a good Idea since he doesnt live in the same school district.

It doesn't matter, unless he lives so far away that he can't get her to school in the morning. Lots of NCP's have one overnight visit a week.

I have offered an evening visit once a week in addition to regular visitation. I told him that he could pick her up after school and have her home by 8. Is this reasonable negociation or am I being selfish.

One reason that the courts give NCP's an overnight visit during the week is because it gives them an opportunity to participate in the parenting rituals of preparing children for school and taking them to school, as well as getting to be there to tuck them in bed. Infact, I've heard many NCP's say that their kids look forward to getting to see the NCP during the week and spend this time with them.

My selfish problem is that it will be his wife picking our daughter because he doesn't get home until 5

This will not be an issue that would even be addressed by the courts. It is perfectly reasonable for a stepparent to pick up the stepchild from school. Sometimes that's the way it works. I'm the one that travels every weekend to pick up my stepdaughter from school because my husband has to work during that time.

 

[stealth2]

So it isn't that you think there's a problem with an overnight during the week, but you're bugged that stepMom will pick the child up instead of Dad? Won't the same thing happen with an evening visit? At least with the overnight, she gets extra time with Dad. That's a no-brainer to me.

 

[haiku]

people have to work,to pay thier bills, and kids have to deal, its a natural part of life, and one that your daughter participates in at Dads.

 

[LdiJ]

Like everyone else has said, the overnight once a week is pretty standard, even twice a week is fairly common. The fact that he is asking for an extra weekend is not common, and is not fair, the child deserves equal non-school/weekend time with you....particularly if you are the only one accomodating both sets of grandparents.