mother is 2 years behind

[syskjw]

What is the name of your state?fl
My daughters mother was ordered to pay $55 a week child support due to her not having a job and a newly born baby. That was ordered 2 years ago and she has not paid a dime. Child Support finally sent a court take with her in contempt of a court order. When we appeared she was very pregnet and still no job. The court informed me to seatlle for $250. 00 when she is owes 6,386.88. I stated to the person I would like to take it to court. The person advised me she is pregnet and has no job if you take it to the judge you will probably get less than that. So I settled and she asked for license back and the returned it to her. This situation does not appear fair at all. If it was me they would have thrown me in jail. Does any one have any suggestion on what I can do. Obviously the mother is not going to be working especially for the next 5 months.

 

[MtnMoon]

What is the name of your state?fl
The court informed me to seatlle for $250. 00 when she is owes 6,386.88. I stated to the person I would like to take it to court. The person advised me she is pregnet and has no job if you take it to the judge you will probably get less than that. So I settled and she asked for license back and the returned it to her. This situation does not appear fair at all. If it was me they would have thrown me in jail.

What do you mean the court informed you to settle for $250? Are you saying that is the total amount you are to receive for arrearages...even though the arrearages are over $6k? And who is "the person" who advised you? The judge? Someone in the court that day? An attorney? Who? If you were in court, why were you saying you would like to take it to court? I'm not understanding.

If your ex was in court for contempt, and you did not agree with the offer... then you should not have told the judge you agree. You shouldn't have "settled" as you put it. This sounds like your ex is not a part of your daughter's life...and that she's not willing to pay any child support. You just let her off the hook by settling. If she does not abide by the court order, then you may take her back in front of the judge for contempt of court. Nobody can force this woman to live up to her obligations and actually pay her child support... Nobody can force her to get a job... But, the court can find her in contempt...can take away her driver's license...can put liens on her property...can put her behind bars... That won't happen if you settle for less. Bottom line looks like the only thing that can be done is to let the woman suffer the consequences for being in contempt. It doesn't look like she's willing to pay child support...so it is highly doubtful you'll be able to collect money from her. Again...take her in front of the judge once she does something against the court order.

 

[syskjw]

When you appear for the court date a child support employee pulls the custodial and none custodial back to a room seperatly of course and askes you questions. Kind of like a mediation. The questioning occured about twice going back in forth to the room. I would go in then come out then she would go in and come out. The Child Supoort employee informed me when speaking to the mother that she was offering $250 to stay out of jail now oweing the $6,136.88. When the employee informed me of that I stated to him I wanted to take it to court( in front of a judge). The employee informed me to settle because when you appear before the judge you will be lucky to get even $250 because she is pregnet and has no job. He said wait until at least 6 weeks after she has her baby because she could go get a doctors note until 6 weeks after the baby's birth and make a request to appear back in court. 2 years ago when we appeared in court she had just had a baby and not job so they said the minnimum about to pay is $50 and $5 for back child support. It took us almost a year to get her into court for not paying. My wife supports my daughter and my self while I am in college. My wife is upset at me because she said that I should not have settled; I should have took it to the judge regardless of what the employee said and if I was not satisfied with the judges decision I could have appealed it. And also she has recieved 2 income tax checks and no one has held them and issued them to me she has recieved them.Is it to late for an appeal?

 

[MtnMoon]

When you appear for the court date a child support employee pulls the custodial and none custodial back to a room seperatly of course and askes you questions. Kind of like a mediation. The questioning occured about twice going back in forth to the room. I would go in then come out then she would go in and come out. The Child Supoort employee informed me when speaking to the mother that she was offering $250 to stay out of jail now oweing the $6,136.88. When the employee informed me of that I stated to him I wanted to take it to court( in front of a judge). The employee informed me to settle because when you appear before the judge you will be lucky to get even $250 because she is pregnet and has no job. He said wait until at least 6 weeks after she has her baby because she could go get a doctors note until 6 weeks after the baby's birth and make a request to appear back in court. 2 years ago when we appeared in court she had just had a baby and not job so they said the minnimum about to pay is $50 and $5 for back child support. It took us almost a year to get her into court for not paying. My wife supports my daughter and my self while I am in college. My wife is upset at me because she said that I should not have settled; I should have took it to the judge regardless of what the employee said and if I was not satisfied with the judges decision I could have appealed it. And also she has recieved 2 income tax checks and no one has held them and issued them to me she has recieved them.Is it to late for an appeal?

Ok...Now I get what happened. Well, since the woman is pregnant...it was probably nice of you to accept a $250 payment instead of getting her jailed. Sounds like you are in a tough stop with your wife about this. You may figure that $250 is better than zero, though.... Especially since she hasn't paid anything at all. If this is being collected through Child Support Services...and there are arrears...one of the things they can do is intercept income tax returns. Contact your caseworker and make sure that they have set it up. There's isn't much you can do about the previous income tax refunds...but in the future the intercept should be in place. Does your ex have any property? A car? Anything like that? If so, speak with your caseworker about liens.

It's commendable that you are caring for your child...and kudos to your wife for supporting the family while you attend college! It's understandable that you want your ex to pay as ordered; however, there's the "how do you get blood from a stone?" situation going on. I totally empathize with you...with your wife upset about what you did. Well...she might not like this...but the situation is between you and your ex with regard to child support. You might point this out to your wife...delicately... Explain to her that you are doing your best...and that nobody can force money out of the woman...and that you're doing your best to deal with it...and that you'd appreciate her support... Explain that her perspective is appreciated; however, you ultimately have to deal with it. In other words...she needs to support whatever decisions you make without taking it personally. It's not fair for her to pressure decisions. Yes...she's supporting the family now...but you both agreed to that. It would not be fair for her to hold that against you. Why in the world would anyone want to be manipulative in that manner? It just increases stress in a marriage.

Anyway, you should sit down and discuss this with your wife and tell her how you feel. It's not a good thing to feel pressured by your spouse about things like this. You are an adult and are fully capable of taking care of your stuff. Assert this position and explain that what you really need is her confidence that you are able to deal with your stuff. You need a supportive spouse...not a controlling one. She can't magically become you and take care of things, can she? So, then...you and she will need to come to an agreement...and hopefully it will include being supportive of each other and understanding...caring...and loving...no matter what happened or will happen in court. It is a tough situation. Just have faith that as long as you do your best...things will turn out all right.

Now, get off of the computer and go study for finals! And don't forget to smooch your kid!!

 

[gatorguy3]

First, if you "settled" then you would have signed something saying you settled. Because of this fact, I would file a motion for hearing to speak with the judge who issued the order for child support. That is the judge you want to speak to.

Second, her being pregnant doesn't mean a damn thing. That is sexual bias and should not be tolerated. I have seen pregnant women in jail; they can be arrested just like someone who is not pregnant. Contempt of court is contempt of court.

If she is found in contempt and does not pay the money, then she will be arrested on a Writ of Bodily Attachment. She will then go before the judge and will have to explain why she cannot get a job, even if she is pregnant. I have seen pregnant women work. It can be done. DO NOT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN THEY WOULD ALLOW YOU TO SETTLE FOR IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED!

The judge will more than likely make a deal with her at that hearing, but she must be making an effort to pay. If she is paying nothing, then she is in contempt of court on the child support order. Straight to jail.

At least this is what they do to a father who does the same.

If they are lenient on her because she is pregnant, I say again, that is sexual bias as the law doesn't state anything about male/female issues or more specifically being pregnant. If the judge cannot do things by the law then ask to have him recuse himself/herself for sexual bias and the fact you cannot get a fair trial with respect to the best interest of your daughter.

 

[gatorguy3]

Another thing...

Get an income deduction order issued and any future tax returns will be held in their entirety and given to you.

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state?fl
My daughters mother was ordered to pay $55 a week child support due to her not having a job and a newly born baby. That was ordered 2 years ago and she has not paid a dime. Child Support finally sent a court take with her in contempt of a court order. When we appeared she was very pregnet and still no job. The court informed me to seatlle for $250. 00 when she is owes 6,386.88. I stated to the person I would like to take it to court. The person advised me she is pregnet and has no job if you take it to the judge you will probably get less than that. So I settled and she asked for license back and the returned it to her. This situation does not appear fair at all. If it was me they would have thrown me in jail. Does any one have any suggestion on what I can do. Obviously the mother is not going to be working especially for the next 5 months.

When a person is held in contempt for nonpayment of CS , Florida law states that several things MUST be done:
1. The court, or in your case the DOR, MUST make a legal finding of her ability to pay an amount, called a purge (the amount varies depending on ability).
They apparently made the finding that she had an ability to pay only $250.00 purge. THE BALANCE OF ARREARS IS STILL OWED.
The DOR worker was correct, if you had insisted on going into court the Judge probably would have ordered a purge of $100.00 or even $50.00.

2. After a DL has been suspended and a motion for contempt filed, all she has to do is show up for the contempt hearing/meeting and the DL is automatically reinstated.

3. As others who've replied have said, talk to your DOR/CSE caseworker and request that they put in for IRS intercepts. Follow up with a letter sent certified return reciept, asking for intercepts.

I fully understand that you want her to pay support, and she should be, but where is YOUR obligation to support your kids? Let me put it this way, your ex is NOT supporting the kids because she CHOOSES to keep having babies and not work, while you DO NOT support the kids because you CHOOSE to attend college and not work. A "deadbeat parent" is one who doesn't financially support thier kids, and frankly in this case I see 2 deadbeat parents.

 

[gatorguy3]

Gracie, your statements are pretty harsh labeling the OP as a "deadbeat". He is attempting to better himself and, from what I see, he is trying to better his child's chances for existence with respect to more than the necessary to just get by. His current wife, according to him, agreed to help the family financially while he gets his degree. However, if there is a burden at this point, the original agreement between them should be tweeked. Maybe a part time job to help with his daughter's necessities would be appropriate? Just a thought.

Next, your statements are not entirely correct.

2. After a DL has been suspended and a motion for contempt filed, all she has to do is show up for the contempt hearing/meeting and the DL is automatically reinstated.

61.13016 Suspension of driver's licenses and motor vehicle registrations.--
http://www.flsenate.gov/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=Ch0061/SEC13016.HTM&Title=->2004->Ch0061->Section%2013016#0061.13016

Basically the NCP has one of two options:

#1 Contest the amount and then pay what the court establishes in order to have the license re-instated.

#2 Modify the CS order and then make the first payment.

And for the record, there are only two entities that can have a person's license suspended when they are delinquent on CS. #1 The Dept. Of Revenue and #2 the CP.

That is the Florida way of life

 

[syskjw]

Thank you all for your responses. A far as the IRS check is concerned I had spoken to Child Support months before taxes where suppose to be done and they informed me that IRS is suppose to hold them and they put the paper work into IRS that she was delinquet. But they also stated they have no control on if IRS holds her income tax check or not. And to say I am a dead beat is inaaproprite. My wife works during the day so I stay home and watch my daughter and our 3 year old son. I go to school during the evening while my wife is home. That way we do not have to spend money on child care expenses and our children are not with strangers. My wife is a wonderful person and puts up with alot of stuff from my ex to not cause a seen infront of the children. My wife is upset as far as a mother point of view. How can you have children and not see them on a regular basis, not call and not even show up to birthday party like promised. And when I spoke to my ex she said that the court would make her pay only $1,000 and give her license back. So she was actually looking at paying $1,000 that day not $250. Before I got custody of my daughter I was ordered to pay $112 a week. I did not even make that much in a week. So I went and got another job. I got payed biweekly so every other week I recieved a letter from Child Support stating I was delinquet and they where going to suspened my license if I did not pay. When my daughter was born it took until she was 6 months old to get into Child Support for them to decide how much I should be paying. During the time of birth to the court date I gave the mother $50 a week and bought clothes or anything that my daughter needed. Well as you can see due to me only paying $50 instead of $112 there was back Child Support. They took my income tax in a heart beat.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you all for your responses. A far as the IRS check is concerned I had spoken to Child Support months before taxes where suppose to be done and they informed me that IRS is suppose to hold them and they put the paper work into IRS that she was delinquet. But they also stated they have no control on if IRS holds her income tax check or not. And to say I am a dead beat is inaaproprite. My wife works during the day so I stay home and watch my daughter and our 3 year old son. I go to school during the evening while my wife is home. That way we do not have to spend money on child care expenses and our children are not with strangers. My wife is a wonderful person and puts up with alot of stuff from my ex to not cause a seen infront of the children. My wife is upset as far as a mother point of view. How can you have children and not see them on a regular basis, not call and not even show up to birthday party like promised. And when I spoke to my ex she said that the court would make her pay only $1,000 and give her license back. So she was actually looking at paying $1,000 that day not $250. Before I got custody of my daughter I was ordered to pay $112 a week. I did not even make that much in a week. So I went and got another job. I got payed biweekly so every other week I recieved a letter from Child Support stating I was delinquet and they where going to suspened my license if I did not pay. When my daughter was born it took until she was 6 months old to get into Child Support for them to decide how much I should be paying. During the time of birth to the court date I gave the mother $50 a week and bought clothes or anything that my daughter needed. Well as you can see due to me only paying $50 instead of $112 there was back Child Support. They took my income tax in a heart beat.

Realistically, I think Gracie had it correctly. I very much doubt that a judge would throw a pregnant woman, without a job, in jail for non-payment of child support. That may be due to bias....but its reality.

I also suspect that a 250.00 purge was probably the best you could do at that point.

I agree that you need to push to make sure that the tax intercepts are in place...but you also have to realize that if she isn't working she may not have to file taxes or may not have a refund due. People often forget that not everybody gets a refund.

 

[MtnMoon]

I fully understand that you want her to pay support, and she should be, but where is YOUR obligation to support your kids? Let me put it this way, your ex is NOT supporting the kids because she CHOOSES to keep having babies and not work, while you DO NOT support the kids because you CHOOSE to attend college and not work. A "deadbeat parent" is one who doesn't financially support thier kids, and frankly in this case I see 2 deadbeat parents.

He and his wife agreed that she would work now and support their family...allowing him to go to college and get his degree. This is a wonderful thing...a family taking care of each other. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. This does not qualify him as a "deadbeat" parent. For goodness sake...his daughter has been under his care all of this time...without any support from the mother.

I am currently pursuing my M.A. and am a full-time graduate student. Since it is a dedicated program, I am not gainfully employed. My husband is currently the breadwinner. I do not consider myself a "deadbeat" parent...nor does my ex who pays child support. When I considered pursuing my M.A., I discussed it thoroughly with my husband, my children, and my ex. I understood it would affect everyone. We collaboratively made the decision to work together to make it viable.

Of course, labeling someone a "deadbeat" is quite subjective. If it makes you feel better to call me names because I am a student without a job...collecting child support...then go right ahead. I'm so glad I could be of service! By the way, if you're a mom --- HAVE A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

 

[MtnMoon]

Thank you all for your responses. .... My wife is a wonderful person and puts up with alot of stuff from my ex to not cause a seen infront of the children. My wife is upset as far as a mother point of view.

You should be very happy that you have a wife who is willing to financially support the family allowing you to pursue your higher education. It's understandable that your wife gets upset about the situation with your ex neglecting her motherly responsibilities. I'm a mom...I totally get it! It's unfortunate that we cannot control the actions of others. Like I posted before, do your best each and every day...that's what matters.

People may say hurtful things... Again, we cannot control the actions of others. Labeling someone a "deadbeat" is a very subjective thing. Hey, the way I look at it...if it makes them feel better by trying to "stick it" to someone else...good! Glad I was there to help! Like my children say, "Put it all in a bubble...and let if float away!"

Have a great day!

 

[Gracie3787]

Gracie, your statements are pretty harsh labeling the OP as a "deadbeat". He is attempting to better himself and, from what I see, he is trying to better his child's chances for existence with respect to more than the necessary to just get by. His current wife, according to him, agreed to help the family financially while he gets his degree. However, if there is a burden at this point, the original agreement between them should be tweeked. Maybe a part time job to help with his daughter's necessities would be appropriate? Just a thought.

Next, your statements are not entirely correct.



61.13016 Suspension of driver's licenses and motor vehicle registrations.--
http://www.flsenate.gov/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=Ch0061/SEC13016.HTM&Title=->2004->Ch0061->Section%2013016#0061.13016

Basically the NCP has one of two options:

#1 Contest the amount and then pay what the court establishes in order to have the license re-instated.

#2 Modify the CS order and then make the first payment.

And for the record, there are only two entities that can have a person's license suspended when they are delinquent on CS. #1 The Dept. Of Revenue and #2 the CP.

That is the Florida way of life

The answers I gave to OP are correct, according to Fl. law. The OP was asking why his ex was able to get her DL reinstated, and I answered him correctly.
You quoted Fl Statute 61.13016- that particular statute deals only with how a DL may be suspended, and how an obligor may PREVENT the suspension from occuring.

AFTER a DL is suspended, then Fl Statute 322.058 http://www.flsenate.gov/Statutes explains how to get it reinstated. The DOR or court clerk has to supply the DMV with an affidavit for reinstatement. Several ways are listed for the affidavit to be given, among them are: when the court allows reinstatement, or when the obligor has complied with order to appear, order to show cause, or any similar order.
That is why the DOR or court clerk will give the affidavit at the time the obligor APPEARS for the contempt hearing- just by appearing the obligor is complying with an order, and obviously will be either found not in contempt, jailed, or ordered to pay purge. This only applies when obligor appears at date and time ordered to.

For the record, the ONLY 2 entities that can suspend DLs are DOR and the COURT CLERK. The CP cannot suspend a DL.

 

[Gracie3787]

Thank you all for your responses. A far as the IRS check is concerned I had spoken to Child Support months before taxes where suppose to be done and they informed me that IRS is suppose to hold them and they put the paper work into IRS that she was delinquet. But they also stated they have no control on if IRS holds her income tax check or not. And to say I am a dead beat is inaaproprite. My wife works during the day so I stay home and watch my daughter and our 3 year old son. I go to school during the evening while my wife is home. That way we do not have to spend money on child care expenses and our children are not with strangers. My wife is a wonderful person and puts up with alot of stuff from my ex to not cause a seen infront of the children. My wife is upset as far as a mother point of view. How can you have children and not see them on a regular basis, not call and not even show up to birthday party like promised. And when I spoke to my ex she said that the court would make her pay only $1,000 and give her license back. So she was actually looking at paying $1,000 that day not $250. Before I got custody of my daughter I was ordered to pay $112 a week. I did not even make that much in a week. So I went and got another job. I got payed biweekly so every other week I recieved a letter from Child Support stating I was delinquet and they where going to suspened my license if I did not pay. When my daughter was born it took until she was 6 months old to get into Child Support for them to decide how much I should be paying. During the time of birth to the court date I gave the mother $50 a week and bought clothes or anything that my daughter needed. Well as you can see due to me only paying $50 instead of $112 there was back Child Support. They took my income tax in a heart beat.

I'd like to clarify why I stated that I see 2 deadbeat parents:
I was speaking from a strictly LEGAL standpoint, not an emotional or even practical one.
LEGALLY, FLORIDA LAWS ARE:

1. Children are to be FINANCIALLY SUPPORTED by BOTH parents. Fl. Statute 409.2551.
The facts, as you have presented them, are that NEITHER biological parent is providing ANY FINANCIAL support for their child. The stepmother is providing all of the child's financial support. Now, what does society and the courts call a biological parent who, by thier own CHOICE, is not financially supporting their child?

2. Florida laws and Fl case law is abundant in stating that ANYTHING that a parent does BY CHOICE, which includes both college and pregnancy, IS NOT A LEGAL reason for not financially supporting your child.
If you were to go into court for a modification or any other reason, the Judge would tell you to get a job and put off going to college or go only very part time.

3. The DOR is giving you a load of **** about the tax refunds. IF they REALLY have notified IRS to intercept, and IF your ex was actually due a refund, IRS would have sent it in. I suspect that either they didn't put in for intercept or she didn't have any refund due. You can ask DOR for a copy of the letter they sent to IRS and the letter they sent to ex, that might get them moving on it.

The bottom line is that you have your reasons for not financially supporting your daughter, and your daughter's mother has her own reasons for not financially supporting her daughter, and neither parent is legally correct. It's nice that your wife is willing to carry all the financial weight, but, as you inferred, it may be putting a strain on her, so please at least consider cutting back on your classes and getting a part time job when your wife is at home.

 

[MtnMoon]

I'd like to clarify why I stated that I see 2 deadbeat parents:
I was speaking from a strictly LEGAL standpoint, not an emotional or even practical one.
LEGALLY, FLORIDA LAWS ARE:

1. Children are to be FINANCIALLY SUPPORTED by BOTH parents. Fl. Statute 409.2551.
The facts, as you have presented them, are that NEITHER biological parent is providing ANY FINANCIAL support for their child. The stepmother is providing all of the child's financial support. Now, what does society and the courts call a biological parent who, by thier own CHOICE, is not financially supporting their child?

2. Florida laws and Fl case law is abundant in stating that ANYTHING that a parent does BY CHOICE, which includes both college and pregnancy, IS NOT A LEGAL reason for not financially supporting your child.
If you were to go into court for a modification or any other reason, the Judge would tell you to get a job and put off going to college or go only very part time.

3. The DOR is giving you a load of **** about the tax refunds. IF they REALLY have notified IRS to intercept, and IF your ex was actually due a refund, IRS would have sent it in. I suspect that either they didn't put in for intercept or she didn't have any refund due. You can ask DOR for a copy of the letter they sent to IRS and the letter they sent to ex, that might get them moving on it.

The bottom line is that you have your reasons for not financially supporting your daughter, and your daughter's mother has her own reasons for not financially supporting her daughter, and neither parent is legally correct. It's nice that your wife is willing to carry all the financial weight, but, as you inferred, it may be putting a strain on her, so please at least consider cutting back on your classes and getting a part time job when your wife is at home.

Nowhere in the statutes does it mention the word "deadbeat." So, you weren't speaking strictly from a legal standpoint. You were using a label. You were stating your personal opinion. In my opinion it was inappropriate to say this dad is a "deadbeat." He has been caring for his daughter all this time without the assistance of the mother...who in my opinion (and probably other people will agree) is acting irresponsibly. If he and his wife have agreed that she will work now and support the family so that he may go to school and attain his degree...than great! That's an example of a step-parent stepping up to the plate and taking care of business! Hooray for her! Suggesting that he cut back on his classes and get a part-time job... Well, that's your opinion of what he should consider. However, he and his wife have already come up with a most viable plan which is working nicely. His wife has agreed to and is supporting the family...therefore...his income is coming from his wife. A court would recognize this as feasible...and wouldn't jump to tell the guy to take fewer classes and get a part-time job if his daughter is being well taken care of. There is no indication in any of his posts that he is in financial crisis because he's not receiving child support or because he's going to school.

The bottom line (to use your phrase) is that he is taking care of his child and is by no means a "deadbeat." The words "good, responsible, caring father" fit a great deal better.