Moving from Georgia

[GaMom0177]

Roughly 600 miles.

I do too. Believe me, that would be that answer to many prayers sent up.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

That's a pretty violent reference!

Only a few have bashed mom. I stated the reasons that need to be looked at for a move-away.

OP - if you do get permission to move, make sure that a parenting plan that allows contact with BOTH parents.

 

[GaMom0177]

Thank GinnyJ. I will do that. My ex and I are talking about the specifics in case the move eventuates.

I do have a question about that. Can we write up what we want and have that submitted? Or is that something a judge decides? I ask because neither of us feels that the laws fit everyone's situation. Of course they have to be able to blanket everyone and be as fair as possible in general. We would like to tailor the agreement to our situation. An example would be...from what I know...which is admittedly very little of the legalities...when doing something like this...both parents would get approximately equal time for the summer vacation. If my children live that far from their dad I do not feel that is fair to him. At the same time I do want to be able to spend time with them while they are out of school. So...could we write in the agreement that he gets them all of the summer break (about 3 months) with the exception of 2 weeks? Another one is the travel for holidays and other breaks. He and I both know that circumstances change and there are times when you have unexpected expenses. Can we write in the agreement that I'm responsible for the transportation of the children to and from on holidays and what not but in the case that I'm unable to do so my ex can pick them up and be reimbursed at a later time based on receipts? Also, I want to give him as much of their breaks as he wants but I do want to spend some of the special holidays with them as well. For example Christmas, can we make it so that they spend the Christmas break with him but I can get them for half the day of Christmas?

 

[LdiJ]

GAMom, I hope those leads work out (in the vein of believing we are blessed for doing the right thing even if it's hard). How far away are your husband's kids currently?

That's a pretty violent reference!

Some of the opinions have been pretty extreme for a situation where the two parents have already agreed about what is to happen.

 

[shadowthorn]

What astounds me about his thread is that here we have two parents who have agreed what should happen, but they are still bashing mom over the head about this. That isn't legal advice, its purely personal opinion. When I think of all the times its been emphasized to newbies that this is a LEGAL forum, for LEGAL advice, I think that's a little ironic.

Glad I wasn't the only one...

From what it seems, the dad in this case seems very unlikely to push a custody hearing. Just hope you don't get a judge with opinions like silverplum's

 

[TheGeekess]

Write up your plan the way you want it to be, both of you sign it and then submit it to the judge. If both of you are in agreement, the judge should rubberstamp it without any problem.

 

[GaMom0177]

Great! Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank GinnyJ. I will do that. My ex and I are talking about the specifics in case the move eventuates.

I do have a question about that. Can we write up what we want and have that submitted? Or is that something a judge decides? I ask because neither of us feels that the laws fit everyone's situation. Of course they have to be able to blanket everyone and be as fair as possible in general. We would like to tailor the agreement to our situation. An example would be...from what I know...which is admittedly very little of the legalities...when doing something like this...both parents would get approximately equal time for the summer vacation. If my children live that far from their dad I do not feel that is fair to him. At the same time I do want to be able to spend time with them while they are out of school. So...could we write in the agreement that he gets them all of the summer break (about 3 months) with the exception of 2 weeks? Another one is the travel for holidays and other breaks. He and I both know that circumstances change and there are times when you have unexpected expenses. Can we write in the agreement that I'm responsible for the transportation of the children to and from on holidays and what not but in the case that I'm unable to do so my ex can pick them up and be reimbursed at a later time based on receipts? Also, I want to give him as much of their breaks as he wants but I do want to spend some of the special holidays with them as well. For example Christmas, can we make it so that they spend the Christmas break with him but I can get them for half the day of Christmas?

Yes, you can absolutely write up any agreement that the two of you are comfortable with and most likely a judge would sign off on it without any problems. There can be rare exceptions to that, but nothing that you have suggested is something that a judge would have a problem with.

 

[LdiJ]

Glad I wasn't the only one...

From what it seems, the dad in this case seems very unlikely to push a custody hearing. Just hope you don't get a judge with opinions like silverplum's

That can't happen unless dad initiates a custody hearing/suit. A judge can't contemplate changing custody unless 1) one of the parents files a motion to change custody or 2) CPS is involved and they file a motion to change custody.

Obviously CPS is not involved in this case therefore if mom and dad agree, a judge is going to sign off on it. If they throw something really wierd into the mix then a judge might have standing to refuse to sign off on the agreement...but it would have to be something REALLY wierd.

 

[GaMom0177]

Thank you LdiJ. As I do not have alot of money right now, can that be submitted without a lawyer or would it run into problems? I will try to get a lawyer to at least look it over but if I can avoid the extra expense that would help alot. And if it can...can you point me in the direction of getting instructions on how to do it?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

OP - do have a lawyer review the paperwork. Requirements change from time to time, and something may need to be incorporated into the plan.

 

[milspecgirl]

that is not true. ldij has many times in my posts shown she could care less about gender

 

[GaMom0177]

On the whole gender thing...I hope I have made it clear that I do not feel that my relationship with my daughters is more important that my ex's just because of gender. In case I haven't...

When my brother was taking my ex-sister-in-law to court for custody of my niece. My testimony was integral to his winning. I still love her like a sister and hated having to do it but it was necessary...

In my original post, I meant that above and beyond the NORMAL good relationship, the USUAL characteristics of a good parent... as a female I know more about being a girl and that that helps in my understanding of my daughters. That first post was misleading because I was trying to summarize. I IN NO WAY meant that my ex's relationship was inferior to mine because he male.... alone. I hope in later posts I cleared that up...if not I hope it is evident now.

Thank you to everyone who has helped with this. I feel about as settled as I can about it if it comes to pass that I have to move. Now I know what I need to do legally and will get it put in to the court. Even if I don't have to move, I am going to talk to my ex about doing something legally just to make it so that if either of us has to move the guidelines are already in place.