Moving out of state?

[greatmom2008]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Arkansas

My husband might be getting trasferred to a new job in an ajoing state. Can my ex keep me from letting my daughter move with us there? I have talked my attorney but he just made me upset, so has anyone else dealt with the same situation and how was your outcome?

 

[Just Blue]

Of course your child's father can prevent you from taking his child to another state! Your attorney "upset" you...By being honest??

 

[stepmomndad]

You will most likely have to go to court and prove that it would be more beneficial for the child to move out of the state with you than to have a relationship with her father.

Why don't you move out of state, leave your child with her father, and do visits with her?

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Arkansas

My husband might be getting trasferred to a new job in an ajoing state. Can my ex keep me from letting my daughter move with us there? I have talked my attorney but he just made me upset, so has anyone else dealt with the same situation and how was your outcome?

Tell your hubby not to transfer.

If you were to move, here's what could happen -

1. There could be a long-distance parenting plan put in place where YOU pay for ALL transportation.

or

2. You could lose custody to the dad, with you paying child support and all transportation costs.

or

3. You stay put with daughter and allow relationship to continue with dad.

Which sounds best? What do you think a JUDGE would say is best???

 

[greatmom2008]

Aren't you sweet!

I don't think so! He moved away from her once already only to call me 7 days in advance of the date they were moving. She does not want to live with her father that is why I would not do that. I have even told her if she ever did want to live with him that is something I am willing to let her do. I went to live with my dad when I was younger and my mom let me and I would do the same for her if that day comes, but it is not what she wants right now.

 

[Just Blue]

I don't think so! He moved away from her once already only to call me 7 days in advance of the date they were moving. She does not want to live with her father that is why I would not do that. I have even told her if she ever did want to live with him that is something I am willing to let her do. I went to live with my dad when I was younger and my mom let me and I would do the same for her if that day comes, but it is not what she wants right now.

You tell the judge this when you seek permission from the court to move. Tell him just this way.

 

[Isis1]

if you want a gurantee of the dad not getting cusody, then don't move. plain and simple.

 

[stepmomndad]

I don't think so! He moved away from her once already only to call me 7 days in advance of the date they were moving. She does not want to live with her father that is why I would not do that. I have even told her if she ever did want to live with him that is something I am willing to let her do. I went to live with my dad when I was younger and my mom let me and I would do the same for her if that day comes, but it is not what she wants right now.

As he's the NCP, he can move away. How far did he move??

She doesn't get the choice of picking to live with you or him. The judge can very well tell you you either stay where you are with her or she goes and lives with her father.

 

[greatmom2008]

Tell your hubby not to transfer.

If you were to move, here's what could happen -

1. There could be a long-distance parenting plan put in place where YOU pay for ALL transportation.

or

2. You could lose custody to the dad, with you paying child support and all transportation costs.

or

3. You stay put with daughter and allow relationship to continue with dad.

Which sounds best? What do you think a JUDGE would say is best???

If those top two are what the judge would ask then yes I guess I would stay put, but why is it that I travel now half way for his weekend visitations on my own expense, he doesn't pay my costs and he moved away! I did not know that was an optition- can I do the same to him or does it not matter were he moves, just me!

 

[greatmom2008]

If those top two are what the judge would ask then yes I guess I would stay put, but why is it that I travel now half way for his weekend visitations on my own expense, he doesn't pay my costs and he moved away! I did not know that was an optition- can I do the same to him or does it not matter were he moves, just me!

And she is 13 so I guess if we did move and paid for all the expenses for gas, it is still too close to fly-it would only be till she is 18 right?

 

[stepmomndad]

If those top two are what the judge would ask then yes I guess I would stay put, but why is it that I travel now half way for his weekend visitations on my own expense, he doesn't pay my costs and he moved away! I did not know that was an optition- can I do the same to him or does it not matter were he moves, just me!

You should have taken him back to court to make it so that he had to pay for the additional traveling expenses, since he created the distance. How much distance are we talking about regarding where he moved and how far you want to move?

For moving a far distance, the person who created the distance is normally the one responsible for the transportation costs.

 

[stepmomndad]

And she is 13 so I guess if we did move and paid for all the expenses for gas, it is still too close to fly-it would only be till she is 18 right?

That is correct, you have to follow the court order until the child is 18.

 

[Humusluvr]

If those top two are what the judge would ask then yes I guess I would stay put, but why is it that I travel now half way for his weekend visitations on my own expense, he doesn't pay my costs and he moved away! I did not know that was an optition- can I do the same to him or does it not matter were he moves, just me!

Custodial parents have what is called a "duty to facilitate" a relationship with the non-custodial parent. Means, you have to have daughter have a relationship with her dad. Or try your bestest.

Your original court order when you divorced or split up would have you meeting halfway. If you never change the order, then you always share transportation.

But if you move and change the order, since YOU move, you create the distance, thus you bear the cost. NCP can move. CP can't move so easily. It would be til 18, yes.

Don't get upset with your lawyer or us. It actually is fair, but may be hard for you to deal with.

Best advice is don't move. Tell your hubby to turn down the transfer, unless the raise is so great it covers the cost of gas for 5 years.

 

[Just Blue]

That is correct, you have to follow the court order until the child is 18.

Just to add to this post:

Even if the price of gas goes up to 10$ a gallon!! You won't get to modify your support order based on the cost of transportation...And you will be in contempt if you allow your daughter to "choose" to skip visitation.

 

[greatmom2008]

I understand

Just to add to this post:

Even if the price of gas goes up to 10$ a gallon!! You won't get to modify your support order based on the cost of transportation...And you will be in contempt if you allow your daughter to "choose" to skip visitation.

I don't want to modify my support order, I want her to see her dad, and I know about the contemp issues. But if my husband wants to go further in his career then we have to move some day. You can't just wait for some one to retire or die around here to move up. And yes the money would be much greater than he makes now. With the distance he created already and the distance we would add to that comes to a total of 452 mile-about 7 hours total so half way would be 3.5 for each, still 7 hours to get halfway and back home for each of us. So what I am asking I guess is that would it still be every other weekend. That just does not seem like a good idea when she is in school.
And please understand that I am not mad at anyone on here at all just my situation, my husband has worked very hard to get to where he is today and I don't want to be the reason that we cannot move.