My ex, the idiot

[MrsK]

What is the name of your state? Louisiana, and now TX

So today I found out that my ex's ex GF (got that? LOL) is pregnant. Apparently its probably his. I guess there is some doubt, who knows, not my problem. Anyway- lets assume it turns out to be his. The girl lives in TX, my ex & I both live in LA.

We have a court order here in LA for support & visitation & all that jazz (through family court). Let's just say he has an issue keeping a job for long periods of time, and currently is about $1k in support, soon to be about $1500. He pays me directly, no SES involved & I'd like to keep it that way for now.

Anyway- I'm concerned about how this will effect my support in the future. Mainly around tax time.

We alternate claiming the kids every year. He tends to be behind in support every year, but pays me the arrears when he gets his tax return. It happened last year, and I expect it to happen this year as well. I'm not too concerned about the tax return thing THIS year, as the other girl's kid is not due until after tax time.

Since he has issues keeping a job, I imagine he will probably be behind in support to the other girl, and that TX will want to take his tax return to get some of that $$.

SO- how do I make sure I get first cut of the tax return next year?

I realize TX will want his butt pretty bad if she decides she wants support or gets welfare, but frankly, *I* want that money first. If there is any left over, they can have it, but since I have a 4 yr old court order, I feel I'm entitled to what my ex is behind (FTR- I am sure he'll be behind in support next year, too...this has been going on a few years now) before TX gets their cut.

2nd question

The girl says she doesnt want support, she's "doing it on her own" (dont most of them say that?). Is TX one of those states that MAKES the mom get support? I know if she goes on welfare/assistance, they will be running to get support (and she is apparently a waitress, so its probably likely she will get welfare/assistance) but do they automatically do it?

3rd question

If they make her get support, will he pay outright, or do they require garnishment?

4th question

If they require garnishment- how do I make sure I get the first cut of his $? Again, I've got first support order, I should get the first of the $$ when he DOES work.

Should I file with SES? I dont want to, at this point. But if its what I need to do to make sure I am first in line, I will. But if this can be done (me getting the $$ first) in family court, I am also open to that. I guess if I need SES to make sure I am #1, I will use them, but I probably will not want to file with them until right before her kid is born. I'd like to avoid them as long as possible (and I guess she's got about 5 months left).

5th question

Does TX have one of those "sibling visitation" laws? In other words, can she try to make me let her kid see my kids? If she does want that (I dont know if she does...) does she file to have here? I'm pretty sure we dont have that law here, and since my kids dont live in TX and never have, can TX force their laws on me?

Before you all go "Oh, but its only fair that your kids see her kid..."- Yeah, yeah, I know the general consensus on that. But as far as I'm concerned, if my ex wants my kids to have a relationship with this kid, he can do it on HIS time, that is his business. I dont see why I should have to waste MY time with this crap, I certainly didnt ask to be dragged into it, and I sure as hell didnt have sex with him OR her in this situation- although obviously I had sex with him a long time ago . In all seriousness, though, this really isnt my problem & I dont want to deal with it. I have no idea if he plans on having a relationship with her kid (he says he was very clear with her he didnt want another kid & apparently they are not going to be together now that this happened...but I really dont know) but again...I dont want to get dragged into his foolishness, I have enough going on in my life and I dont see why I should need to be a part of THEIR mess, KWIM?

Thanks in advance, I really need the help...I'm not too privvy on TX c/s stuff, I hope some of you guys can help me answer my questions.What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?

 

[LdiJ]

SO- how do I make sure I get first cut of the tax return next year?

I realize TX will want his butt pretty bad if she decides she wants support or gets welfare, but frankly, *I* want that money first. If there is any left over, they can have it, but since I have a 4 yr old court order, I feel I'm entitled to what my ex is behind (FTR- I am sure he'll be behind in support next year, too...this has been going on a few years now) before TX gets their cut.

2nd question

The girl says she doesnt want support, she's "doing it on her own" (dont most of them say that?). Is TX one of those states that MAKES the mom get support? I know if she goes on welfare/assistance, they will be running to get support (and she is apparently a waitress, so its probably likely she will get welfare/assistance) but do they automatically do it?

3rd question

If they make her get support, will he pay outright, or do they require garnishment?

4th question

If they require garnishment- how do I make sure I get the first cut of his $? Again, I've got first support order, I should get the first of the $$ when he DOES work.

Should I file with SES? I dont want to, at this point. But if its what I need to do to make sure I am first in line, I will. But if this can be done (me getting the $$ first) in family court, I am also open to that. I guess if I need SES to make sure I am #1, I will use them, but I probably will not want to file with them until right before her kid is born. I'd like to avoid them as long as possible (and I guess she's got about 5 months left).

The bolded part is basically your answer to all of the above questions. There really is no other way to do it.

5th question

Does TX have one of those "sibling visitation" laws? In other words, can she try to make me let her kid see my kids? If she does want that (I dont know if she does...) does she file to have here? I'm pretty sure we dont have that law here, and since my kids dont live in TX and never have, can TX force their laws on me?

Before you all go "Oh, but its only fair that your kids see her kid..."- Yeah, yeah, I know the general consensus on that. But as far as I'm concerned, if my ex wants my kids to have a relationship with this kid, he can do it on HIS time, that is his business. I dont see why I should have to waste MY time with this crap, I certainly didnt ask to be dragged into it, and I sure as hell didnt have sex with him OR her in this situation- although obviously I had sex with him a long time ago . In all seriousness, though, this really isnt my problem & I dont want to deal with it. I have no idea if he plans on having a relationship with her kid (he says he was very clear with her he didnt want another kid & apparently they are not going to be together now that this happened...but I really dont know) but again...I dont want to get dragged into his foolishness, I have enough going on in my life and I dont see why I should need to be a part of THEIR mess, KWIM?

Thanks in advance, I really need the help...I'm not too privvy on TX c/s stuff, I hope some of you guys can help me answer my questions.What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?

TX doesn't have sibling visitation laws. However, even if TX did, she wouldn't have standing to sue, because their dad is alive and well and can facilitate a relationship between the children on his own time.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Question here: how does the courts know that the support is behind to you if he pays you directly? Or does he just pay the courts by check and it's forwarded to you? I wondered because of the arrearage.

Generally, they split those tax refunds between the parties Okay, if there is one

If they require garnishment- how do I make sure I get the first cut of his $? Again, I've got first support order, I should get the first of the $$ when he DOES work.

I would suggest garnishment in your case then, cuz otherwise, the one will be, but not yours.

 

[qurice]

Is TX one of those states that MAKES the mom get support? I know if she goes on welfare/assistance, they will be running to get support (and she is apparently a waitress, so its probably likely she will get welfare/assistance) but do they automatically do it?

It will not happen unless she applies for state assistance.

If they make her get support, will he pay outright, or do they require garnishment?

Yes, it will be required.

If they require garnishment- how do I make sure I get the first cut of his $? Again, I've got first support order, I should get the first of the $$ when he DOES work.

If/When CS for the new child is established, dad needs to make TX aware that he already has an order so it can be deducted before the new one is calculated. As long as his new support is calculated properly, there should be enough to go around.

Does TX have one of those "sibling visitation" laws?

Nope.

It's probably a good idea to go through your enforcement to have it withheld and it is important that dad makes the OAGs office know he already has a support order. I would not wait too long before getting the garnishment in place.

§ 158.207. EMPLOYER RECEIVING MORE THAN ONE ORDER OR
WRIT. (a) An employer receiving two or more orders or writs for one
obligor shall comply with each order or writ to the extent possible.
(b) If the total amount due under the orders or writs
exceeds the maximum amount allowed to be withheld under Section
158.009, the employer shall pay an equal amount towards the current
support in each order or writ until the employer has complied fully
with each current support obligation and, thereafter, equal amounts
on the arrearages until the employer has complied with each order or
writ, or until the maximum total amount of allowed withholding is
reached, whichever occurs first.
(c) An employer who receives more than one order or writ of
withholding that combines withholding for child support and spousal
maintenance as provided by Section 8.101 shall withhold income and
pay the amount withheld in accordance with Section 8.207.

 

[MrsK]

The bolded part is basically your answer to all of the above questions. There really is no other way to do it.



TX doesn't have sibling visitation laws. However, even if TX did, she wouldn't have standing to sue, because their dad is alive and well and can facilitate a relationship between the children on his own time.

Awesome, thanks for your help. I guess it looks like at some point I will have to deal with SES, unfortunetly...but you do what you gotta do, right? Thanks again.

 

[MrsK]

Question here: how does the courts know that the support is behind to you if he pays you directly? Or does he just pay the courts by check and it's forwarded to you? I wondered because of the arrearage.

Generally, they split those tax refunds between the parties Okay, if there is one

I would suggest garnishment in your case then, cuz otherwise, the one will be, but not yours.

The courts dont know if he is behind or not. He generally pays by check so he has proof. And I would NEVER, ever lie & say he owes me more than he does, that isnt my nature & I feel that would be really wrong. He's not the best person, he isnt the best dad, but he is my kids dad and I'm not gonna roll him under the bus, KWIM?

There will be a tax refund. Is there no way to make sure I get enough of the tax return to cover the arrears. I really dont think I should have to split it, and it seems like the courts have that whole "first kids first mentality" the rest of the time, so they should here too. Have it all of the time or none of the time, I think. But of course thats JMO.

Ok, so how do I get SES to garnish his wages? Here in LA, you get to pay on your own through SES until you get 30 days behind (trust me, my husband pays on his own to SES here as well...). If I file with them when he isnt in arrears (lets say he gets caught up before I file...) can I request garnishment because he has been more than 30 days late in the past? Or do you think I'd have to wait until he again becomes 30 days behind?

 

[MrsK]

It will not happen unless she applies for state assistance.



Yes, it will be required.



If/When CS for the new child is established, dad needs to make TX aware that he already has an order so it can be deducted before the new one is calculated. As long as his new support is calculated properly, there should be enough to go around.


Nope.

It's probably a good idea to go through your enforcement to have it withheld and it is important that dad makes the OAGs office know he already has a support order. I would not wait too long before getting the garnishment in place.

§ 158.207. EMPLOYER RECEIVING MORE THAN ONE ORDER OR
WRIT. (a) An employer receiving two or more orders or writs for one
obligor shall comply with each order or writ to the extent possible.
(b) If the total amount due under the orders or writs
exceeds the maximum amount allowed to be withheld under Section
158.009, the employer shall pay an equal amount towards the current
support in each order or writ until the employer has complied fully
with each current support obligation and, thereafter, equal amounts
on the arrearages until the employer has complied with each order or
writ, or until the maximum total amount of allowed withholding is
reached, whichever occurs first.
(c) An employer who receives more than one order or writ of
withholding that combines withholding for child support and spousal
maintenance as provided by Section 8.101 shall withhold income and
pay the amount withheld in accordance with Section 8.207.

Is that a TX law or LA law? Sorry, I am clueless about garnishment since we've never done it.

We both live here in La, the girl lives in TX. So if that is TX law and La law is different & he is WORKING in La, would it be different? Because I think I should get my support & THEN if there is leftover, she can get her support, I dont think it should be "equal", since apparently most other times the court has the "first kids first" mentality.

 

[qurice]

Is that a TX law or LA law? Sorry, I am clueless about garnishment since we've never done it.

We both live here in La, the girl lives in TX. So if that is TX law and La law is different & he is WORKING in La, would it be different? Because I think I should get my support & THEN if there is leftover, she can get her support, I dont think it should be "equal", since apparently most other times the court has the "first kids first" mentality.

Yes, you're correct. I assumed he was in TX, my apologies. LA law would then apply on how the money is split up. I don't know what LA statutes says about it.

Really it would be beneficial for all involved to make sure dad is paying on both orders. He can't exactly pay on your order if he is jailed for non-payment on the TX order.

 

[MrsK]

Yes, you're correct. I assumed he was in TX, my apologies. LA law would then apply on how the money is split up. I don't know what LA statutes says about it.

Really it would be beneficial for all involved to make sure dad is paying on both orders. He can't exactly pay on your order if he is jailed for non-payment on the TX order.

Its true, he cant pay if he's jailed. But is there a way to assure I get MOST of the money...like lets say they can only garnish 50%- is there a way I get 75% of that 50%, she can get 25% of the rest or something?

At what point do they jail for that, btw? We have a friend who has a support order in TX that he isnt paying on, but they dont seem to be doing anything to him...does it take awhile? Is there a way to fix it so he's just paying enough to keep him out of trouble if he cant pay both every month?

Obviously the BEST thing would be for him to pay both orders in full but I guess depending on how much he makes at his next job, that may not be possible. I have refused to allow a voluntary reduction in support a couple of times now, because he is getting fired for reasons that are HIS fault (sexual harrassment one time, lying about previous employment another time, a 3rd time he was suspected of stealing money or not being vigilant & someone else stole money, I never got the whole story...) and his last few jobs have been anywhere from 5-8k less than the job he held when we last calculated child support.

Its been hard for him to pay the support sometimes even when he WAS working, but one of our children actually has some disabilities (so obviously that is costing me much more than before the diagnosis), and I'm just not willing to accept a reduction in support at this time considering why he was fired. If he had been laid off, I probably wouldve been way more flexible with that, but at this point I'm not doing it.

Anyway, my point is, he may get a job making a good bit less & the 2 orders may end up being more than 50% of his pay, and I would like to find a way that I am getting the majority of that. From what I can calculate, my order will probably be more than 3 times the amount her order will be, so I think I should get 3x the money from garnishment if there isnt enough to go around.

 

[MrsK]

Yes, you're correct. I assumed he was in TX, my apologies. LA law would then apply on how the money is split up. I don't know what LA statutes says about it.

Really it would be beneficial for all involved to make sure dad is paying on both orders. He can't exactly pay on your order if he is jailed for non-payment on the TX order.

Btw- where can I find the LA laws on garnishment? Are they in the family law section of the LRS?

 

[qurice]

I couldn't find anything so it may take some time to find that info. I was looking through the LA Children's Code.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If your family does not receive public assistance, you can still utilize Louisiana child support services by completing an application and paying an application fee of twenty-five dollars. You can apply for services by visiting one of the twelve regional SES offices and completing an application for services.

http://www.dss.state.la.us/index.htm

 

[MrsK]

http://www.dss.state.la.us/index.htm

Ginny- any idea where it actually is on that site? I've looked at it before & I just searched it now & cant find it.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

http://www.dss.state.la.us/departments/ofs/Support_Enforcement_Services_P.html#EnforcingOrders