My husband adopting my daughter

[myheart0423]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

I have an 8 year old little girl who has no relationship with her biological father. he filed for disestablishment of paternity and when he got in front of judge said the wrong thing and they denied it. He still does not support or see her. I am getting married this month to a man who has been living with my daughter and I since she was 2 years old and who is also the father of my 4 year old daughter. we are considering step parent adoption and the biological father agreed and even signed the consent. How straight forward is this/ how long will it take? after i get married do i need to wait a certain waiting period? and what is the cost of something like thisWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[milspecgirl]

you will need to be married at least a year

then you will need to get an atty (adoption is never a DIY project)

It should not be super expensive as the dad is in agreement.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

I have an 8 year old little girl who has no relationship with her biological father. he filed for disestablishment of paternity and when he got in front of judge said the wrong thing and they denied it. He still does not support or see her. I am getting married this month to a man who has been living with my daughter and I since she was 2 years old and who is also the father of my 4 year old daughter. we are considering step parent adoption and the biological father agreed and even signed the consent. How straight forward is this/ how long will it take? after i get married do i need to wait a certain waiting period? and what is the cost of something like thisWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I can't answer your questions, but if you're only considering it, make sure you have the reasoning right.

Stepdad can love the children without adopting. Do things with them. Suport them. Be there for them. Adoption doesn't change that.

There are disadvantages:
1. It reduces cash in the household to help pay for their support. Even if you're not getting child support now, you can keep pushing through the system to get it. If you don't need that money, save it for college.
2. If something happens to you (or your marriage), the adoptive parent becomes responsible for raising kids that are not his and/or paying support.

There is really only one big advantage and one trivial one:
1. (big). If something happens to you, the kids would be raised by the adoptive father rather than bio dad. Sounds like that might be better for them.
2. (trivial). Your new husband is seen as a great guy for adopting the kids.

No one can tell you what is right, but make sure you're considering ALL the issues.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Here is a link to the Florida statutes regarding requirements for adoption. This is the index, you can browse each subject.

http://www.flsenate.gov/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=Ch0063/titl0063.htm

At first glance I don't see any requirement that the mother and stepfather must be married for one year but it might be in there somewhere.

 

[RRevak]

Op, i'm currently working on a step-parent adoption in FL as well. If both parties consent and are willing to attend all court proceedings etc, then you do not have to be married a year. You should use a lawyer as if ANY portion of the paperwork isnt filled out properly it could seriously jeopardize the legality of the adoption. Process generally takes up to 6 months from start to finish depending on how long it takes you to get time w a judge etc. Cost is around $600 or so for a DIY but again, I do NOT recommend that! Paperwork (which is a large packet) can be acquired from the courthouse in the county you're in. I do recommend some pre-marital counseling though so your soon-to-be husband understands the ramifications of the adoption. This will be his legal child forever which means not only will he be the childs father but, in the event you two ever divorce he will be paying support and all other expenses a father pays for a child. Best if he understands those things beforehand as an adoption isnt a decision that should be made lightly. Good luck to you

 

[dannyt]

none

I can't answer your questions, but if you're only considering it, make sure you have the reasoning right.

Stepdad can love the children without adopting. Do things with them. Suport them. Be there for them. Adoption doesn't change that.

There are disadvantages:
1. It reduces cash in the household to help pay for their support. Even if you're not getting child support now, you can keep pushing through the system to get it. If you don't need that money, save it for college.
2. If something happens to you (or your marriage), the adoptive parent becomes responsible for raising kids that are not his and/or paying support.

There is really only one big advantage and one trivial one:
1. (big). If something happens to you, the kids would be raised by the adoptive father rather than bio dad. Sounds like that might be better for them.
2. (trivial). Your new husband is seen as a great guy for adopting the kids.

No one can tell you what is right, but make sure you're considering ALL the issues.

untill he adopts, your soon to be husband is a legal stranger with no rights to your daughter at all, if something were to happen to you, dad is first in line for custody. and no you cannot will your child to him, children are not property and cannot be willed

 

[Proserpina]

untill he adopts, your soon to be husband is a legal stranger with no rights to your daughter at all, if something were to happen to you, dad is first in line for custody. and no you cannot will your child to him, children are not property and cannot be willed

Would you please just stop?

I implore you.

 

[Zigner]

There is really only one big advantage and one trivial one:
1. (big). If something happens to you, the kids would be raised by the adoptive father rather than bio dad. Sounds like that might be better for them.
2. (trivial). Your new husband is seen as a great guy for adopting the kids.

There are also other factors. If adopted, the adoptive parent (as the PARENT) has decision making rights not available under other circumstances. Also, estate planning is affected.

 

[LdiJ]

There are also other factors. If adopted, the adoptive parent (as the PARENT) has decision making rights not available under other circumstances. Also, estate planning is affected.

Yes, in every way imaginable the child is would then be the child of the adoptive parent, permanently. Both you and your future husband need to fully understand the ramifications of that.

 

[mistoffolees]

There are also other factors. If adopted, the adoptive parent (as the PARENT) has decision making rights not available under other circumstances. Also, estate planning is affected.

Yes, absolutely. Those things are very real.

SOME decision making can be handled without adopting. For example, I used to carry a power of attorney document in my wallet giving me permission to authorize medical care for my stepdaughters. I don't know if it would have held up, but....