My husband attacked me

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your reply and breakdown. When is arrainment usually? I guess the better question is, will someone notify me so I can be there?

When the prosecutor calls you he/she can answer your questions accurately for your area.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I'm scared because when the officers were questioning me they asked if I was hitting him too. I said I didn't think so with like a closed fist or anything but when I was writing the statement I asked the officer if it was 'he choked me' or 'he strangled me' and when I wrote it down I looked up at the officer and said, "That was when!"

I can't stop thinking about everything over and over. I'm not shaking like I was when the place came but I feel trembly and can't seem to 'feel warm' if that makes sense.

I've tried to sleep but my head is hurting so bad and swallowing feels sticky.


When they said a prosecutor is calling me this morning, what does that mean?

You have received very good advice so far.

However, I would like to add: if some idiot allows him out on his own recognizance, before you've been afforded an opportunity to get a restraining order, and he shows up at your door, CALL 911.

Do not assume that no one cares, or that you don't matter, just because the police or the judge or the prosecutor do stupid things. Your life matters, and your child needs you.

By "stupid things"... well, I could give you a long list. (You are allowed to defend yourself. If a stranger double your weight was trying to strangle you, would the arresting officer point out that you at fault for trying to defend yourself? )

When I went through a similar thing, I had to convince the police that I wanted him arrested, even though 1) I'd told them this wasn't the first time, 2) my clothes were torn (not recorded in their report) 3) I was holding a 10 month old child in my arms while he had his hands around my neck (you'd think that'd garner checking the box for "child endangered"). They let him out less than 6 hours later - before the time I was told that court would open!

Do not, in the light of day, back down. Leave for a homeless shelter, if you must. Couch surf, but do not leave your community. Contact your local domestic violence group, and file for a restraining order.

He can say you'll have no access to your daughter. That does not make it true.

When you file for a restraining order, see if it could include your daughter, and at least include the fact that she was in the room (sleeping in the bed that he pushed you onto). It is abusive to expose a child to this, and it may turn out that he is the one with less access to your mutual child if you follow the rules. The key is patience and following the rules.

 

[coolmaltese]

Washington State has a Domestic Violence Legal Advocacy program through the Office of Crime Victim Advocacy within the Washington State Department of Commerce. Please contact them. Search "Domestic Violence Legal Advocacy Washington State" for phone number and contact information.

From the Office of Crime Victim Advocacy - Washington State Department of Commerce website:
"The Domestic Violence Legal Advocacy (DVLA) Program supports a victim’s attempt to end a violent relationship by holding offenders accountable through the criminal justice system. The goal is to decrease the incidence of domestic violence by facilitating victims’ access to and participation in the civil and criminal justice processes. Fifty community-based domestic violence programs provide direct services to victims throughout Washington. Legal advocates ensure that safety and rights of victims are protected within the criminal justice and civil court systems by acting on behalf of victims of domestic violence and their children. They assist victims with protection and anti-harassment orders, divorce and separation papers, child custody or visitation orders, and help victims get needed financial aid and social services."

 

[Skittlededoo]

Thank you, everyone.

 

[Skittlededoo]

Update: I just found out the charges are assault in the 4th degree.

 

[justalayman]

Update: I just found out the charges are assault in the 4th degree.

Unless he has at least two prior domestic violence convictions in the previous 10 years, this is a misdemeanor. The possible punishment is up to 364 days in jail and/or up to a $5000 fine. That’s pretty serious for a misdemeanor.

 

[Skittlededoo]

@justalayman, when you say it's pretty serious for a misdemeanor, do you mean that's what he's facing, or that the charges of 364d and fines is serious for a misdemeanor?

 

[justalayman]

@justalayman, when you say it's pretty serious for a misdemeanor, do you mean that's what he's facing, or that the charges of 364d and fines is serious for a misdemeanor?

Both.

Technically it is a gross misdemeanor which is a class of crimes between misdemeanors and felonies and the penalty possible reflects it.

It’s a,serious charge.

 

[Skittlededoo]

Thank you for the information. I appreciate your time.