My Husband Would Like To Adopt My Son... Biological Father Absent For Years

[JDahl1982]

TEXAS

I moved to TX from Washington State in 2008. I married in 2009. Before I moved out of state, I was receiving court ordered child support from my son's biological father but nothing more. I have no idea where he was and he made no attempt to see his son. Child support stopped in July of 2010 and Washington State told me it was because they can't find the biological father. He vanished. I have not heard from him, seen him, received one red cent from him since.

Now my husband of 3 years would like to adopt my son. We cannot find the biological father and my husband is the only father my son has ever known/remembers. We are trying to figure out the best (and most legal way) for him to go about adopting my son. The biological father's last known state of residency is Washington... I live in TX.

Also, it is known that the biological father changes his name, uses different SSN's... is an illegal alien. What should our first steps be for my husband to adopt my son??

 

[mistoffolees]

TEXAS

I moved to TX from Washington State in 2008. I married in 2009. Before I moved out of state, I was receiving court ordered child support from my son's biological father but nothing more. I have no idea where he was and he made no attempt to see his son. Child support stopped in July of 2010 and Washington State told me it was because they can't find the biological father. He vanished. I have not heard from him, seen him, received one red cent from him since.

Now my husband of 3 years would like to adopt my son. We cannot find the biological father and my husband is the only father my son has ever known/remembers. We are trying to figure out the best (and most legal way) for him to go about adopting my son. The biological father's last known state of residency is Washington... I live in TX.

Also, it is known that the biological father changes his name, uses different SSN's... is an illegal alien. What should our first steps be for my husband to adopt my son??

TX is one of the few states that allows termination of parental rights on the basis of abandonment even if someone isn't willing to adopt. If your husband wants to adopt, it is certainly possible, as well. Either way, though, you need an attorney. Adoption is not a DIY project.

Complicating matters is that your order is presumably from WA. You will probably need to have it transferred to TX before you can do anything.

That said, you both need to be aware that if your husband adopts the child and you later split up, he could be paying child support for the child until age 18 (or later) if you get custody and he could get visitation. Or, he could get custody and you could be paying child support to him and getting visitation.

Since you're in TX and it's possible to remove Dad's parental rights without an adoption, talk to the attorney about whether simply terminating Dad's parental rights is a better option for you than going through with an adoption.

 

[CJane]

I really disagree with Misto's advice to seek the termination w/out adoption. While TX doesn't bar it, it is certainly not simple and would not UNcomplicate anything at all.

I do agree that the first step is finding an attorney who is well-schooled in stepparent adoptions.

 

[mistoffolees]

I really disagree with Misto's advice to seek the termination w/out adoption. While TX doesn't bar it, it is certainly not simple and would not UNcomplicate anything at all.

I do agree that the first step is finding an attorney who is well-schooled in stepparent adoptions.

I didn't say it was easy - just that it's possible unlike most other states.

 

[garrula lingua]

Most courts in Tx prefer step-parent adoption to simple terminations.

The Judge is, usually, more comfortable knowing the child will have a second parent for support (it's also easier for you, as the social study, service, hearing, etc. is just one case. The Court will appoint an Ad Litem attorney to try to find Dad, and possibly an attorney for the child (up to the Judge). There will be additional expenses, such as the social study (probably can do all, for somewhere about 2,000, without counting attorney fees).

As a first step, call your local County Bar Association.
Ask for a referral to a Family Law attorney who has done step-parent adoptions where the bio-Dad can't be located.
Most Bar Associations provide a half to an hour's consultation for a nominal fee.

As has been said by the Seniors, adoption (even step-parent) is not a DIY process. You do need an attorney. There are adoption groups out there who will take you through the process, but they are usually about twice as expensive as an attorney. Call around; seek interviews with a few FL attorneys and compare personality, cost, trust, etc.

 

[ecmst12]

FL = Family Law, not Florida