my mother wants to take me away from everything i know b/c she found out sumthing

[Ashley_D]

What is the name of your state? arkansas

Me and my fiance had sex once and my mother (whom i haven't seen in over a year) found out and now she wants to take me back to Germany with her! My grandparents have guardianship over me. Is there anyway she can take me without their consent? And if they give their consent or if she doesn't need it my father will try to get custody over me. Is it possible for me to choose where i want to live...im 15 but im turning 16 in under 2 months. Me and my fiance are basicly married but just dont have the liscence yet...is their anyway i can tell her that im not going with her. I will run away or kill myself before i will go and live with her! Somebody help me PLZ it's VERY urgent she leaves for germany again in less than 2 wks and is forcing me to go with her somebody plz help!!!!

 

[Boxcarbill]

So aside from having regular (and most likely unprotected sex) what else is "basicly married"? At 15 you don't need to be engaging in sex and you sure don't need to be married and the taxpayers certainly don't need another baby to be supporting because two teenagers can not control their sex glands nor do they have enough brains to use birth control.

Your dad will not have enough to time if your mom is leaving in approximately 14 days to file for custody and so it comes down to grandparents' letting mother take you back. When you are an adult, which is 18 years old in this country, you can decide with whom you want to live but at 15, you are still a a child in every state in the United States.

 

[Ashley_D]

you know what! it was protected sex im not completely stupid and i guarantee that you didnt' wait till youwere married and I AM ON BIRTH CONTROL!!!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

you know what! it was protected sex im not completely stupid and i guarantee that you didnt' wait till youwere married and I AM ON BIRTH CONTROL!!!

My response:

BCB, apparently you didn't see it, but our writer is from Arkansas. This is "normal" in that State - - children having sex.

Mountain people - - gotta love 'em!

IAAL

 

[stephenk]

i am really curious on how old is the fiance and what he has to say about this?

So, other than sex, what do you and your fiance do that constitutes "almost married"? You both work? Do you live together? Have bank accounts? Careers?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

i am really curious on how old is the fiance and what he has to say about this?

So, other than sex, what do you and your fiance do that constitutes "almost married"? You both work? Do you live together? Have bank accounts? Careers?

My response:

More rhetorical questions?

Okay, she's a 15 year old Dermatologist, with a PhD. in chemistry. Her fiance is a high school dropout, and plays the banjo near a river. She and her paramour used to live next door to the Clintons, but had to move because Bill kept making "goo-goo eyes" at her - - something about a stain on a dress and a cigar, or something like that.

IAAL

 

[Ashley_D]

i am really curious on how old is the fiance and what he has to say about this?

So, other than sex, what do you and your fiance do that constitutes "almost married"? You both work? Do you live together? Have bank accounts? Careers?

My fiance is 18 and im turning 16 in august...all he has to say is that he will fight for me forever if he has too and that he will come over sea's and leave everything he has here if he has too....and the marriage part has something to do w/ us running off to a state where you can be 15 w/out parental permission to get married we just never got a liscense.......yes we both work ....we were about to move in together........no we dont share a bank account

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My fiance is 18 and im turning 16 in august...all he has to say is that he will fight for me forever if he has too and that he will come over sea's and leave everything he has here if he has too....and the marriage part has something to do w/ us running off to a state where you can be 15 w/out parental permission to get married we just never got a liscense.......yes we both work ....we were about to move in together........no we dont share a bank account

My response:

Ah, yes.
Springtime in the Ozarks.
Love is in the air.
The unwanted child.
Welfare is around the corner.
What could be more beautiful?
.... e.e. cummings (poet)

IAAL

 

[no blinders yet]

While the sarcasm is many times funny, sometimes these are just kids ... In all fairness, some people come here b/c they feel they have no one else they can ask their question of, and even if the question seems laughable to you, it may very well seem urgent to the poster. At the top of every page we see this, "PLEASE BE CIVIL.” And upon checking my Merriam-Webster, one of the four defintions is, "courteous, polite." If you must have your "yucks", do it! But then follow that with your wisdom and your knowledge in trying to help someone. It may be one of your loved ones some day posting here.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

While the sarcasm is many times funny, sometimes these are just kids ... In all fairness, some people come here b/c they feel they have no one else they can ask their question of, and even if the question seems laughable to you, it may very well seem urgent to the poster. At the top of every page we see this, "PLEASE BE CIVIL.” And upon checking my Merriam-Webster, one of the four defintions is, "courteous, polite." If you must have your "yucks", do it! But then follow that with your wisdom and your knowledge in trying to help someone. It may be one of your loved ones some day posting here.

My response:

Wrong!

This kid is just that. She's 15 years old for Christ's sake! We're NOT going to give a minor a legal recipe for running away, or going against the wishes of her parent(s). To do so would be professionally, legally, ethically and morally WRONG!

If this CHILD wants to speak with someone, let her speak to her "spiritual advisor", a school counselor, her best friend's father or mother, but NOT to a lawyer!

So, since we can't give her the "advice" that she wants to hear, at least she might be able to get a few yucks over it. At least, other readers can laugh a little.

I wish no harm should come to this child, but she's thinking of doing wrong, and she's telling us that her boyfriend (you know, he's the "statutory rapist" in this scenario) is planning on going to Germany against the wishes of her family, and perhaps taking her someplace else (read, running away to another State).

So, I'm NOT about to help her do a wrong, to both her family and to herself.

Good night, super liberal.

IAAL

 

[nextwife]

Talk to Mom.......

OK,young lady. You have already recieved legal advice, let me now offer some Mom advice.

A. Swallow your pride and suck up to mom. Apoligize for disappointing her. Make her understand that you now realize that, despite being in love, you now realize that you are really too young to be sexually active. That there is plenty of time for that later.

B. That you and your BF realize that, if you want to someday have a life together, it is important that you both continue your educations and prepare yourselves to be financially independent and responsible adults one day, so that, no matter what happens, when the time comes to make a family (AFTER you are married a while and have a track record with your relationship), you are each capable of properly supporting and caring for your family. And that the time to start a family is much later, after you have the educational tools to take care of yourself if, G-d Forbid, something ever were to happen to him. You have just as much responsibility to be economically prepared as he does. And that you have finally come to realize that. And that you are so sorry for letting her down.

C. That you PROMISE (and keep to that promise) that if she let's you stay,you WILL act more responsibly in the future and put your education first. That now you realize that no guy should be threatened by having a life partner that is equally capable and is not forced to stay in a bad relationship because they left themselves no options. That woman today are no less economically capable than men and that you will give yourself every opportunity to be all that you can, and not let your relationship hold you back from that.

IF your mom sees that you realize that 15 is too young, that you DO see the importance in continuing your education, and that your BF is mature enough to not wish to deny you that education and ability to care for yourself if you ever need to, MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, your mom will agree to let you stay. But you need to see that and let her see that you believe it. Because the key to staying is your Mom. And the key to your real future is you.

 

[stealth2]

Halleluia, nextwife! Great post.

 

[nextwife]

Why, thank you, Momma_tiger!

 

[stealth2]

I was going to reply to the OP, but my head was still exploding over the kid I had to deal with yesterday and I knew it wouldn't be pretty. Bad enough I came down on a different poster. But he deserved it.

 

[no blinders yet]

I have to say that I am impressed with IAAL's response. You gave age appropriate advice. Young lady, I hope you read IAAL's last post, and the others. nextwife was very good, also.

Nowhere in my post did I suggest you give advice that (quoting IAAL) "would be professionally, legally, ethically and morally WRONG!" While my (liberal?) post evoked a heated response from IAAL, it also brought about GOOD ADVICE for you. Not what you wanted to hear, but true advice, nevertheless .........
"If this CHILD wants to speak with someone, let her speak to her "spiritual advisor", a school counselor, her best friend's father or mother, but NOT to a lawyer!"

"So, since we can't give her the "advice" that she wants to hear, at least she might be able to get a few yucks over it. " ... Trust me, a child will not think being made fun of is funny when there is a matter of her heart in question, even if we know that this is not a good situation.

Ashley_D, some good advice has been given. You have blinders on. They are made from a young girls first real infatuation or "love". We grown-up “poops” may not say all of the things that you would like to hear, but do try to be 15, 16 yrs. old for now. This time and age will be gone very soon .....

Finally retired ... no "bench" warming ... but maybe this site will help me to not miss work too much!!