My sister needs help desperately

[Sisteract]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? She is in Florida
My sister has been trying to adopt her three grandchildren for 10 years and has been an outstanding caregiver. One of the kids is severely autistic. Her husband just died and after years and years of sobriety she fell off the wagon. They were days away from finalizing the adoption. We need to get her to rehab but we don't want the kids in foster care or blow the adoption. There are family members ready to step in as she gets this sorted out. What is the best way to handle this? Please please help us!

 

[justalayman]

well, what does the lawyer you have involved suggest?

a lawyer is almost a given in adoption issues.


you also have a problem with the husband dying. Since the husband is an integral part of the situation, his death could have consequential actions on the adoption. It is better to not hide things from the court but how to address them can be critical. If she doesn't have a lawyer, get one ASAP...

let me change that; get one now. ASAP is only an excuse to wait.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? She is in Florida
My sister has been trying to adopt her three grandchildren for 10 years and has been an outstanding caregiver. One of the kids is severely autistic. Her husband just died and after years and years of sobriety she fell off the wagon. They were days away from finalizing the adoption. We need to get her to rehab but we don't want the kids in foster care or blow the adoption. There are family members ready to step in as she gets this sorted out. What is the best way to handle this? Please please help us!

Have you informed the adoption attorney that is helping through the process assuming that one is helping?

 

[Sisteract]

well, what does the lawyer you have involved suggest?

a lawyer is almost a given in adoption issues.


you also have a problem with the husband dying. Since the husband is an integral part of the situation, his death could have consequential actions on the adoption. It is better to not hide things from the court but how to address them can be critical. If she doesn't have a lawyer, get one ASAP...

let me change that; get one now. ASAP is only an excuse to wait.

I only just found out about all this last night. I'm in NJ. I have advised they other family members that they need legal help. We are scattered all over the country. Only the biological mother is currently there. She has her rights terminated I think she had some mental issues but is stable and sees them regularly. I don't know the details of that.

Thanks so much for everyone's input. I'm just distraught and not thinking clearly.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? She is in Florida
My sister has been trying to adopt her three grandchildren for 10 years and has been an outstanding caregiver. One of the kids is severely autistic. Her husband just died and after years and years of sobriety she fell off the wagon. They were days away from finalizing the adoption. We need to get her to rehab but we don't want the kids in foster care or blow the adoption. There are family members ready to step in as she gets this sorted out. What is the best way to handle this? Please please help us!

Sis has been trying for TEN years?

What's the delay?

(This would seem to suggest that the possibility of adoption is iffy)

 

[sandyclaus]

Sis has been trying for TEN years?

What's the delay?

(This would seem to suggest that the possibility of adoption is iffy)

How much would you like to bet that the lack of consistent sobriety is the problem here?

If the mother lost her parental rights, then where have the children been residing over the past 10 years?

 

[Sisteract]

Sis has been trying for TEN years?

What's the delay?

(This would seem to suggest that the possibility of adoption is iffy)

The biological mom. They thought they had the kids and then found out they didn't it's just been a mess. She's been raising them since they were babies..

Anyway. We got some legal help and the family is rallying around so hopefully it will be okay. My hubby and I signed papers last year to be her back up if something happened to her so hopefully they'll take that into consideration.

I just finished raising my two granddaughters for a year while both parents were deployed so, I know I could do it. They were only 5&3.

Just want to say thanks again.

 

[Sisteract]

How much would you like to bet that the lack of consistent sobriety is the problem here?

If the mother lost her parental rights, then where have the children been residing over the past 10 years?

My sister has been consistently sober. They have been being raised by her since they were infants and toddlers. She has been amazing with her.

I'm starting to get a little sad at how quick people are to judge but I guess it's to be expected.

Nobody could have done a better job with those kids. She lost her husband a month after she found out he had cancer.

 

[Sisteract]

Sis has been trying for TEN years?

What's the delay?

(This would seem to suggest that the possibility of adoption is iffy)

I think she was hoping that her daughter was going to be able to get them back but it's just to much for her. She's had physical custody the whole time.

 

[Sisteract]

Have you informed the adoption attorney that is helping through the process assuming that one is helping?

We are now. I think everyone just wanted to make sure the kids didn't get shuffled into the system. Especially the special needs boy. She's worked so hard with him.

They have a program apparently in Florida. We just need to get her in. Apparently if the family is willing to step in they have no reason to send them to foster care. There's a department that works with Dcf to rehabilitate guardians without the intent of taking them away. It's state funded and they will open a case on her which should not be a big deal provided she stays sober. We are going to be keeping a closer eye on her and the kids as she goes through the grieving process. We thought we were but she's so independent and kept saying she was okay. She runs a business's and everything seemed okay and until it wasn't.. I kept trying to get her into a support group for widows with children but she never had time. Oh we'll. I can blame myself all day but it won't change anything.



Thanks again

 

[Sisteract]

well, what does the lawyer you have involved suggest?

a lawyer is almost a given in adoption issues.


you also have a problem with the husband dying. Since the husband is an integral part of the situation, his death could have consequential actions on the adoption. It is better to not hide things from the court but how to address them can be critical. If she doesn't have a lawyer, get one ASAP...

let me change that; get one now. ASAP is only an excuse to wait.

Thank you, I read that to the family and they agreed.. Thanks again.