name change - minor

[marriedmom]

State of PA - I posted this to family law already with no response -thought maybe this forum would be better. I had my daughter in 1993 - biological father never knew, still doesn't and I have no idea where in the world he is. I started dating a man when she was 2 and he has been her daddy since. We then married. Her legal last name is my maiden name. There is nothing in the father space on her birth certificate. We would like to change her last name to ours but I don't want to contact the bio father - its been too long and I don't want to disrupt her life or anyone else's. How do we go about changing her last name to ours? Thanks.

 

[Kittyscorpio]

i don't know how much this is will help but when my step-dad filed to adopted me my mother had to put like an ad kinda in a paper saying that they were filing to have my step-dad legally adopted me and my older brother ....they also had to try and get ahold of my real dad but since they couldn't no one could stop the adoption.....hope this helps alittle

 

[deefran]

State of PA - I posted this to family law already with no response -thought maybe this forum would be better. I had my daughter in 1993 - biological father never knew, still doesn't and I have no idea where in the world he is. I started dating a man when she was 2 and he has been her daddy since. We then married. Her legal last name is my maiden name. There is nothing in the father space on her birth certificate. We would like to change her last name to ours but I don't want to contact the bio father - its been too long and I don't want to disrupt her life or anyone else's. How do we go about changing her last name to ours? Thanks. [/QUOTE

You will have to retain a lawyer. They will then have to try and locate the father...i.e. last known address, last known work address, his known relatives' addresses. If they have no luck contacting him, they will then have to place ads in the paper giving the intent to adopt etc... If they do locate him, being that there is no name on the bc he will have to take a paternity test. If they still do not locate him after a standard amount of time, courts will set the date...Eventually his rights will be terminated under abandonment and your husband will be free to adopt her. This is a long and expensive process upwards over $1000.00--$1700.00 possibly more.
Exact thing happened to me, daughter born in 93, father knew but decided to walk out. Met my husband when she was 2, could never seem to afford the adoption process...literally ran into bio-dad one day who tried coming into child's life, but quickly changed his maind when I hit him up for support. He is signing over his rights willingly and now the process is MUCH quicker and cheaper with him willing to terminate his rights.
Contacting the bio-father may pay off better than you think...he may not want to pay child support, or may even just want to continue living the life he has now...either way the adoption process is much easier if you get him to sign over his rights without going through the circus.
You could also, (I may be blasted for this) but anyway, claim that the biofather is unknown (since paternity was never determined and biodad never knew of child).... This would speed up the process, but be careful...because if biodad DID find out and wanted to fight it he could.
A much cheaper and quicker way is to file for a name change...although this doesn't make your husband legally her father she would still have his last name. In some states you would still need permission from the biodad, but he's not as intensely searched for in this case.
Good Luck...our daughters are the same age...and if you're like me you want her to have a stable home and family life.

 

[marriedmom]

Thanks so much for the reply - I really need some help here and had no idea where to turn. I just don't want to disrupt anyone's life at this point. Thats why I didn't contact bio father from the start. I grew up in a split household - mom one weekend, dad another - rotate holidays, etc. and I hated it. I didn't want that for my daughter. Our homelife is wonderful as is and I don't (and won't) want anything to change it. Thanks again!!!

 

[bobandjess99]

I agree, the name change is an easy solution for now. All we had to do was run an ad in the paper for so long, then went before a judge, and got the name changed. In my state, there is actually a reason for a name change that is something like " so the child will have the same last name as the rest of the family", (the rest of the family has my married name, child had my maiden name) so even if biodad had shown up, the name change almost certainly would have gone through anyway. (child was 8, biodad had known about pregnancy, but split, never returned, never seen kid, never paid a dime.) We were told that an actual adoption would have reqiured more in terms of trying to locate the biodad, but the name change was done in like 2 months, no probs.
Hope yours goes well.
(And like deefran said, if biodad ever does want to butt into your life, I would immediately press the issue of support - 8 years of even minimal back-support is going to add up to a ton, and most guys are not going to want to take on that kind of debt!! Talk about his wages being garnished, tax returns withheld, even jail time in some places.....that should get him signing over his rights pronto!!!)
Jess