need advice asap

[hayleys mom]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?OHIO
I am trying for custody of my 15 yr old daughter her father tried to choke her 2xs a week ago, you thought it sounded suspect because of the timing, but I know my daughter and she was not lying! and he is abusive, mostly mental and verbal but has been physical with me when we were married. I had my daughter this week end and she was depressed because she is still in her fathers home, she asked if I would straighten her hair, I called and talked to her dad he agreed but after I took her back today he called and complained that I put a process in her hair and said I was in trouble for it, although I checked with him first, his wife was the one really mad shes very jealous of our daughter. anyways he and his wife had my daughter put on prozac which I objected to, but my ex said he didn't care how I felt but yet they didn't send her meds with her and she should be taking them every day, since they insisted she take them. Three part question can I be in trouble for her hair, can he be held liable for the meds not being sent? And why hasn't charges been filed for the domestic abuse? Can I file charges for my daughter since she is a minor? She is scared to death of her father and sm at this point and is threatening to run away. She is a good girl and her father is just picking about every little thing right now, Please advise I need some help here on what my options are before something happens! Her father says he will give up his rights and never see her again if she leaves, I know he doesn't mean it but this is just more mental anguish for her, she is sad all the time and they will not let us talk on the phone, the sm is a real piece of work, what are my chances of getting custody and how long will it take, I'm worried for her and I believe she will run its that bad.....

 

[skyspirit]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?OHIO
I am trying for custody of my 15 yr old daughter her father tried to choke her 2xs a week ago, you thought it sounded suspect because of the timing, but I know my daughter and she was not lying! and he is abusive, mostly mental and verbal but has been physical with me when we were married. I had my daughter this week end and she was depressed because she is still in her fathers home, she asked if I would straighten her hair, I called and talked to her dad he agreed but after I took her back today he called and complained that I put a process in her hair and said I was in trouble for it, although I checked with him first, his wife was the one really mad shes very jealous of our daughter. anyways he and his wife had my daughter put on prozac which I objected to, but my ex said he didn't care how I felt but yet they didn't send her meds with her and she should be taking them every day, since they insisted she take them. Three part question can I be in trouble for her hair, can he be held liable for the meds not being sent? And why hasn't charges been filed for the domestic abuse? Can I file charges for my daughter since she is a minor? She is scared to death of her father and sm at this point and is threatening to run away. She is a good girl and her father is just picking about every little thing right now, Please advise I need some help here on what my options are before something happens! Her father says he will give up his rights and never see her again if she leaves, I know he doesn't mean it but this is just more mental anguish for her, she is sad all the time and they will not let us talk on the phone, the sm is a real piece of work, what are my chances of getting custody and how long will it take, I'm worried for her and I believe she will run its that bad.....

Look--I'm not an attorney--I also have teen girls. Don't believe EVERYTHING she says. You have to question it. Get a GAL. Go to family mediation. Get your daughter in counseling. Obviously, she is old enough to say where she wants to live. That will weigh pretty heavily in court. If it gets real bad between her and her dad, go pick her up and take her to the police station and file a report. Let him know after you do it. Is there a 3rd party (grandma or aunt) that she can stay with temporarily?

Good luck.

 

[stealth2]

It's already been reported to the cops.

 

[hayleys mom]

I contacted the sheriffs dept. they said all the paperwork has been turned into the courts and in most cases the fact that she is a minor the county picks up the charges on her behalf. OH believe me I know kids can manipulate and she is living with a master manipulator, She has exaggerated in the past I don't just automatically assume shes always completely honest I'm not a pushover. But the school seems to feel based on her coming to them last year and just the fact she told her story so many times and nothing changed that she was being truthful, and if you could have seen just the fear in her eyes and her being hysterical, it's obvious something happened and my exes mother already said he admitted he lost his temper with her and choked her but she said she would never testify against him in court. And yes his sister is a foster parent and I have discussed it with the sheriff and my attorney about her staying there since I live 40 minutes away so it won't interupt school, But we have to wait until it goes to court. She seems to feel better and I told her to just be patient and not to argue do her homework and chores and be respectful. I call the school and check on her 2 or 3 times a week since they won't let us talk on the phone. I think I have convinced her not to run away and give it a little more time.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You have been working this same issue for weeks now, things take time and you admit your daughter is manipulative and exaggerated in the past, which is very typical for her age. You are being worked very expertly. Unfortunately it is a misconception to believe that just because her story doesn't change that it is the truth, actually that is often the sign of a well rehursed lie typical of of a manipulator. Your daughter need counseling, not a custody battle, if you win the battle you may lose the war.

 

[casa]

I contacted the sheriffs dept. they said all the paperwork has been turned into the courts and in most cases the fact that she is a minor the county picks up the charges on her behalf. OH believe me I know kids can manipulate and she is living with a master manipulator, She has exaggerated in the past I don't just automatically assume shes always completely honest I'm not a pushover. But the school seems to feel based on her coming to them last year and just the fact she told her story so many times and nothing changed that she was being truthful, and if you could have seen just the fear in her eyes and her being hysterical, it's obvious something happened and my exes mother already said he admitted he lost his temper with her and choked her but she said she would never testify against him in court. And yes his sister is a foster parent and I have discussed it with the sheriff and my attorney about her staying there since I live 40 minutes away so it won't interupt school, But we have to wait until it goes to court. She seems to feel better and I told her to just be patient and not to argue do her homework and chores and be respectful. I call the school and check on her 2 or 3 times a week since they won't let us talk on the phone. I think I have convinced her not to run away and give it a little more time.

Be patient-it's a process.

You won't get in trouble for hair- that's ridiculous!

Ask the school if she can see the resource counselor- and if they believe counseling would be beneficial, take her to therapy.