Need some advice/help

[Andrew1386]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

I am the biological father of my son. His mother and I just can't seem to get along no matter what. She is unreasonable with almost everything and has threatened me not with physical things but items like calling the cops, going back to court, etc... I want what is best for my son and for me. I am tired of these arguments and emotional stress she puts me under. Apparently though, I do the same to her as she says. In order to end the fighting, emotional problems for both of us and more importantly, ensuring that my son won't get put in the middle of all this garbage for the rest of his life. I am contemplating terminating my rights for his sake and mine. How would I go about this? Will I still be obligated to pay support? Is it possible to reinstate my rights once he is older and can make a decision on his own?

 

[stealth2]

That's really a pretty crappy idea. To be blunt.

Most states will not permit you to terminate your rights unless there is someone who is willing to adopt him. So you'd be stuck with not seeing him and still supporting him financially. IF you're permitted to terminate your rights, you will have no ability to reinstate them. You will become a legal stranger to him until he is an adult. 18.

Have you taken this all to court for support and visitation issues?

 

[truly]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

I am the biological father of my son. His mother and I just can't seem to get along no matter what. She is unreasonable with almost everything and has threatened me not with physical things but items like calling the cops, going back to court, etc... I want what is best for my son and for me.

Why would you consider legally terminating your rights to your child if you say you want what's best for him? What's best for a child is to have both parents involved...maybe you should mature a little and realize that it takes two to argue and fuss...be an adult, rise above the pettiness and stop the back and forth with the mother

I am tired of these arguments and emotional stress she puts me under. Apparently though, I do the same to her as she says. In order to end the fighting, emotional problems for both of us and more importantly, ensuring that my son won't get put in the middle of all this garbage for the rest of his life. I am contemplating terminating my rights for his sake and mine. How would I go about this? Will I still be obligated to pay support? Is it possible to reinstate my rights once he is older and can make a decision on his own?

....or could it be that you don't want to pay child support, think you can terminate your rights, get off $$$ free and re-instate your rights and re-insert yourself after the child is old enough to make a decision? Are you going to wait it out till the kid is 21?

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

I am the biological father of my son. His mother and I just can't seem to get along no matter what. She is unreasonable with almost everything and has threatened me not with physical things but items like calling the cops, going back to court, etc... I want what is best for my son and for me. I am tired of these arguments and emotional stress she puts me under. Apparently though, I do the same to her as she says. In order to end the fighting, emotional problems for both of us and more importantly, ensuring that my son won't get put in the middle of all this garbage for the rest of his life. I am contemplating terminating my rights for his sake and mine. How would I go about this? Will I still be obligated to pay support? Is it possible to reinstate my rights once he is older and can make a decision on his own?

Do you have a court order for visitation, custody and child support? If so and if she is violating the order, take her to court for contempt.

Forget terminating your rights.

 

[tcpmp]

If you do have a custody order you have more options than you think, if you don't file ASAP. That will help alleviate a lot of your problems since it right there in black and white. I would like to make a suggestion. If you do have a custody order and file for modification have specific times, date, people, etc, you want don't have something in there that is open to interpretation.

 

[Grace_Adler]

Some states allow you to terminate your rights without an adoption and some states terminate support along with it. I don't know if CO is one of those states. You'll have to go to their legal website and do some research on the laws. Go to google or another search engine.

Even if they do allow all that, your ex would have to agree to it and file for it.

You have a short grace period to retract your decision so to speak but you can't reinstate your rights at a later date. Once they are gone, it's for good.

 

[rba777]

Please. For God's sake never give up your parental rights just to make peace with a wicked ex-wife. I definitely feel your pain. My ex wife has been hell bent on destroying and disrupting my life since I left her. I have a pending case now on child support because the judge lowered my CSA due to my oldest daughter being 19 and in college and because my income is less. She objected and I have gone through 12 hours of depositions from her attorney and now have a big fat attorney's bill and it isn't over. You name it she has done it.
BUT - Children are smarter than you think. Yes the contention is damaging to them but not as damaging as it would be to have their father give up his rights. Children know who the good guy is. Yes they will love their mother and defend her no matter how bad of a looney tune she is and that is natural.
I pray for my ex wife. Every day, several times a day because I know the solution to her insanity is in the Lord's hands. The court system will not solve the problem of feelings, but it can help keep her off your butt.
Try getting to a counselor. Get advice from a good lawyer. Better yet get you and your child to a counselor. 1. You are taking the initiative to be a better parent. 2. This will minimize the damage to the child. 3. You can use the counselors report and testimony in court. I won joint custody that way.
God bless you man. My heart is with you. You can make it through. Don't ever give up a God given right to be your childrens father.

P.S. Are you re-married. If you can find a good woman like the one I married it certainly helps, but expect your ex to give her hell too unless she changes.