california owne
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? CA
I have a question about a friend of mine. She was in an abusive relationship for a couple years. Last year she was living with her mother and her boyfriend. Her mom witnessed him pick up his two year old son by his neck and blowing in his face. After that, she asked him to leave and he said if he had to leave he would take her child with him, which he did. My friend had to have cops go to his house to get the child, since she had custody. The officers said she still had to follow the rules and allow the father of the child to see him on weekend. She brought the child to see him on a Friday, but instead of bringing the child back on a Sunday, he slapped her with restraining order papers.
This boyfriend was extremely abusive and he sat on her stomach when she was pregnant because he didn't want a child, he also had shoved her and threw her across the room. She has several police reports about him and he was thrown in jail in 2003. He's extremely short tempered with the child even telling the child to 'shut up' when it would cry.
They went to trial, but this guy lied about everything. He told the court that my friend was lying about the abuse. Since he had a restraining order against her, he would continue to call the cops and tell them to put a warrant out for her arrest. When the were together, he would record all her phone calls, so we believe he used those to get her in troble. Because he did get the cops involved, when she went to the police station to exchange the child during the case, he would be there first and tell the cops 'there's a warrant out for her arrest'. Of course, there wasn't but he would keep pressuring the cops and use old tapes. My friend did have to go to jail for 10 days. Many people on her side, including myself, did not want to testify because of what he could do. He had already threatened me in the past and knew where I lived. He completely played the system
Since the father of the child filed the papers and lied a lot (while my friend had to go to jail) the judge granted him the child during the week, but only until the final hearing which will be in a couple weeks. I was in the court room when she made her decision, and she said in July it could go either way.
The judge granted them restraining orders against each other. They were supposed to exchange the child at a police station near where my friend lives. This worked for awhile, but then this guy followed her to a K-Mart that was next store to the station and he started talking to her and wanted her to go to breakfast with their son. She agreed and now they have been meeting at McDonalds instead of the police station to exchange the child. My friend has decided to drop her lawyer and I really think she is trying to go back to this abusive man. I asked her if she was going to tell the judge that this guy followed her out of the police station. She said no.
I also asked if this guy was going to drop the restraining order and she said he told he he would (in exchange I am sure she'd drop hers). He also told her not to tell the judge they've been meeting other places to exchange the child.
I have tried to offer to go with my friend while she exchanged the child, but she wants to go alone. I am afraid they will go to court later this month and completely lie in front of the judge. I think the abusive boyfriend is sweet talking her so everything will be dropped. I want to stay out of it, but I think if she goes back to this guy, the child will be in danger. I would rather make sure the judge knows what's going on than let it got any further. Does anyone have any suggestions?
I have a question about a friend of mine. She was in an abusive relationship for a couple years. Last year she was living with her mother and her boyfriend. Her mom witnessed him pick up his two year old son by his neck and blowing in his face. After that, she asked him to leave and he said if he had to leave he would take her child with him, which he did. My friend had to have cops go to his house to get the child, since she had custody. The officers said she still had to follow the rules and allow the father of the child to see him on weekend. She brought the child to see him on a Friday, but instead of bringing the child back on a Sunday, he slapped her with restraining order papers.
This boyfriend was extremely abusive and he sat on her stomach when she was pregnant because he didn't want a child, he also had shoved her and threw her across the room. She has several police reports about him and he was thrown in jail in 2003. He's extremely short tempered with the child even telling the child to 'shut up' when it would cry.
They went to trial, but this guy lied about everything. He told the court that my friend was lying about the abuse. Since he had a restraining order against her, he would continue to call the cops and tell them to put a warrant out for her arrest. When the were together, he would record all her phone calls, so we believe he used those to get her in troble. Because he did get the cops involved, when she went to the police station to exchange the child during the case, he would be there first and tell the cops 'there's a warrant out for her arrest'. Of course, there wasn't but he would keep pressuring the cops and use old tapes. My friend did have to go to jail for 10 days. Many people on her side, including myself, did not want to testify because of what he could do. He had already threatened me in the past and knew where I lived. He completely played the system
Since the father of the child filed the papers and lied a lot (while my friend had to go to jail) the judge granted him the child during the week, but only until the final hearing which will be in a couple weeks. I was in the court room when she made her decision, and she said in July it could go either way.
The judge granted them restraining orders against each other. They were supposed to exchange the child at a police station near where my friend lives. This worked for awhile, but then this guy followed her to a K-Mart that was next store to the station and he started talking to her and wanted her to go to breakfast with their son. She agreed and now they have been meeting at McDonalds instead of the police station to exchange the child. My friend has decided to drop her lawyer and I really think she is trying to go back to this abusive man. I asked her if she was going to tell the judge that this guy followed her out of the police station. She said no.
I also asked if this guy was going to drop the restraining order and she said he told he he would (in exchange I am sure she'd drop hers). He also told her not to tell the judge they've been meeting other places to exchange the child.
I have tried to offer to go with my friend while she exchanged the child, but she wants to go alone. I am afraid they will go to court later this month and completely lie in front of the judge. I think the abusive boyfriend is sweet talking her so everything will be dropped. I want to stay out of it, but I think if she goes back to this guy, the child will be in danger. I would rather make sure the judge knows what's going on than let it got any further. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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