needing answers on step parent adoption

[mommyofroo]

This is in Texas

Ok so my son is 4 years old. And my husband would like to adopt him, he has been in our lives living with us for almost 2 years. I would like some information on what exactly I can or have to do to get this done. I have many questions... let me first give the information

The child is 4.
His biological father was not present during pregnancy or at time of birth
he is not on the birth certificate
he has never been ordered to pay child support
I have never heard or seen of him since we had sex and created the child
his paternity has never been proven
there is absolutly no record of him even existing where it concerns my son
I am not even sure where he is at.

That being said... here are my questions.....
do i need a lawyer?
do i need to terminate supposed parental rights?
can i just put my husbands name on the birth certificate and change the name?
can i do this myself?
What forms do I need to DIY?

 

[Banned_Princess]

This is in Texas

Ok so my son is 4 years old. And my husband would like to adopt him, he has been in our lives living with us for almost 2 years. I would like some information on what exactly I can or have to do to get this done. I have many questions... let me first give the information

The child is 4.
His biological father was not present during pregnancy or at time of birth
he is not on the birth certificate
he has never been ordered to pay child support
I have never heard or seen of him since we had sex and created the child
his paternity has never been proven
there is absolutly no record of him even existing where it concerns my son
I am not even sure where he is at.

That being said... here are my questions.....
do i need a lawyer?
do i need to terminate supposed parental rights?
can i just put my husbands name on the birth certificate and change the name?
can i do this myself?
What forms do I need to DIY?

Oh no you don't.

you need a lawyer, I suggest you do that instead


Ask the man, how committed is he, if y'all break up, how will he feel about paying child support for your child.

 

[mommyofroo]

ok, your response was really not needed... your lack of information and understanding is lacking. But, he is totally committed and understands the terms that go along with adoption of the child

 

[Proserpina]

Oh no you don't.

you need a lawyer, I suggest you do that instead


Ask the man, how committed is he, if y'all break up, how will he feel about paying child support for your child.

And how Mom would feel if her husband got custody and she became the NCP paying child support.

Mom, you really do need an attorney.

Putative Dad will generally need to be at least notified, and if you don't know where he is that may involve publication.

You don't want him turning up a year later and having the adoption overturned because of a technicality.

 

[mistoffolees]

ok, your response was really not needed... your lack of information and understanding is lacking. But, he is totally committed and understands the terms that go along with adoption of the child

What was wrong with BP's response? She was correct - you need an attorney. Adoption is not a DIY project.

And she was also correct to remind you that if SD adopts the child and the two of you divorce later, he will be paying Child Support. Alternatively (albeit less frequently), he could get custody and YOU could be paying child support to him. Many people don't understand that and BP simply wanted to make sure that you are going into this with your eyes open.


ETA: Darn - Pro beat me this time.....

 

[mommyofroo]

my appoligies then.... I have been strung around and bounced from extention to extention just to get a few simple answers. quoted 3000 for an attorney which I clearly do not have.... it seems that the adoption in my case would be simple considering circumstances and all. Has anyone ever heard of the reliableadoption people online? they prep your docs and send then ready to file? opinions?

 

[Proserpina]

my appoligies then.... I have been strung around and bounced from extention to extention just to get a few simple answers. quoted 3000 for an attorney which I clearly do not have.... it seems that the adoption in my case would be simple considering circumstances and all. Has anyone ever heard of the reliableadoption people online? they prep your docs and send then ready to file? opinions?

The problem is, your adoption case is likely going to be MORE complicated because you don't know where the putative father is.

If putative father isn't involved, why the rush?

Take your time - save your money, and do it the sensible way.

 

[mistoffolees]

my appoligies then.... I have been strung around and bounced from extention to extention just to get a few simple answers. quoted 3000 for an attorney which I clearly do not have.... it seems that the adoption in my case would be simple considering circumstances and all. Has anyone ever heard of the reliableadoption people online? they prep your docs and send then ready to file? opinions?

No one here is going to recommend someone - online or otherwise. If it were me, though, I would want the adoption done properly - which means using an attorney I trust.

Frankly, $3,000 is very inexpensive for an adoption. If that's more money than you can afford, you might want to reconsider the adoption. Since Dad is nowhere to be found, what do you hope to gain by an adoption?

 

[mommyofroo]

the adoption is somthing that my husband is wanting to do. He and I wish to make sure that no matter what our son is considered his in all legal ways possible. For unforseen circumstances like if something were to happen to me, he would be able to keep my son.

 

[mistoffolees]

the adoption is somthing that my husband is wanting to do. He and I wish to make sure that no matter what our son is considered his in all legal ways possible. For unforseen circumstances like if something were to happen to me, he would be able to keep my son.

In TX, someone who was acting as a 'de facto' parent has some rights, so it's not clear that he wouldn't be able to keep the child without adoption.

The point is that Dad is nowhere to be found. There's no rush. You don't have $3,000 to do it right, so why not save up until you can afford it - or use the money for something that would benefit the child?

 

[CSO286]

my appoligies then.... I have been strung around and bounced from extention to extention just to get a few simple answers. quoted 3000 for an attorney which I clearly do not have.... it seems that the adoption in my case would be simple considering circumstances and all. Has anyone ever heard of the reliableadoption people online? they prep your docs and send then ready to file? opinions?

$3000 for an adoption? that's the low end...

 

[Proserpina]

$3000 for an adoption? that's the low end...

Agreed!

There is at least one member here whose adoption cost in excess of $15k - and that was certainly not the most expensive we've seen here!

 

[CSO286]

Agreed!

There is at least one member here whose adoption cost in excess of $15k - and that was certainly not the most expensive we've seen here!

2 couples in my church are planning on adopting. They need to raise 25,000 dollars before their profile will be posted. That money will cover all of the expenses.

 

[LdiJ]

This is in Texas

Ok so my son is 4 years old. And my husband would like to adopt him, he has been in our lives living with us for almost 2 years. I would like some information on what exactly I can or have to do to get this done. I have many questions... let me first give the information

The child is 4.
His biological father was not present during pregnancy or at time of birth
he is not on the birth certificate
he has never been ordered to pay child support
I have never heard or seen of him since we had sex and created the child
his paternity has never been proven
there is absolutly no record of him even existing where it concerns my son
I am not even sure where he is at.

That being said... here are my questions.....
do i need a lawyer?
do i need to terminate supposed parental rights?
can i just put my husbands name on the birth certificate and change the name?
can i do this myself?
What forms do I need to DIY?

Do not even consider the bolded. That is paternity fraud.

You really need an attorney. An adoption is not a DIY project and too much can go wrong without an attorney.

 

[CSO286]

That being said... here are my questions.....
do i need a lawyer?
do i need to terminate supposed parental rights?
can i just put my husbands name on the birth certificate and change the name?
can i do this myself?
What forms do I need to DIY?

Your checkbook....to pay the attorney.