New visitation problem

[Proserpina]

to all those who think they know what my next move is...can just be quiet! I know what I want and as long as my child know that I want a relationship is all that matters

That's not how this works.

You don't get to decide who can and cannot respond to your posts.

Mkay?

Mkay.

You still intend to tell your child that you DUMPED HER because you hated Mom so goshdarned much?

Yeah. Good luck with that.

 

[ecmst12]

Also - you WILL need to have some degree of dealings with the child's mother and you need to learn to have a civil, respectful relationship with her. You will not be allowed to bypass her entirely, nor should you try. While it would be nice if your wife and your ex could meet and become friendly, not everyone lives in happyland where the children's needs come first. They don't NEED to have any contact at all.

You're best off telling your wife that she can find somewhere else to stay while your child is (eventually) visiting. With the attitude she has now, it's clear she is not going to treat this child as a member of your family, so she's better off getting lost. If I were you, she'd be getting lost permanently, but then again I would never have married someone who had a problem with a child they knew I had before I'd even met her. Or whatever the exact situation is. You're going to have to jump through plenty of hoops to establish a relationship with this child, your own wife's insecurity should not be one of them.

 

[stealth2]

Also - you WILL need to have some degree of dealings with the child's mother and you need to learn to have a civil, respectful relationship with her. You will not be allowed to bypass her entirely, nor should you try. While it would be nice if your wife and your ex could meet and become friendly, not everyone lives in happyland where the children's needs come first. They don't NEED to have any contact at all.

Well... actually... he WILL be able to do that, when the child is somewhat older. And yes, it does color how the child views the parent being that way.

 

[Ohiogal]

to all those who think they know what my next move is...can just be quiet! I know what I want and as long as my child know that I want a relationship is all that matters

You want to be able to tell the child you did everything (as long as it doesn't put you out or cause you to have any difficulty in your well manicured life) in order to be a dad -- what you really mean is you want the pretense of attempting but you won't do it -- instead it will be everyone else to blame.

Sorry but YOU are to blame if you don't have a relationship with your child. It may be difficult but get rid of your wife if she doesn't want your child. Grow up and learn to get along with your child's mother. You got along enough to stick your penis in her vagina so time to be mature (and no, sex is not mature) and talk to her and coparent. If you can't do that, get counseling and realize that not having a relationship with your child rests on YOUR shoulders and no one else's.