no way to contact father

[ICUB4ER]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

In the process of a divorce with the settlement conference scheduled for February 28th, the temp order states "reasonable visitation".
The last time the kids(two girls, ages 10 and 13)saw dad was January 29th. He has moved and changed his phone number since then so now we have no way to contact him. All I know is that he's somewhere close to his married girlfriend and her 4 kids. He tells me and the kids that he will be here a certain day and time to pick them up, then never shows or calls. He was supposed to pick them up last Sunday from 8 am to 8 pm, 13 yr old called him from 8:30 am to 5 pm when he finally answered and told her that he wasn't coming because it's a waste of gas. This was his weekend to have them, but he never showed up or called, and we don't have a number to call him at now. The kids had their things packed and stood at the door waiting for him Friday until almost 8 pm. What do I do? It tears my heart out when my kids are completely inconsolable because their dad backs out on promises to see them. The kids and I have been seeing a counselor weekly since day one of this mess.

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

In the process of a divorce with the settlement conference scheduled for February 28th, the temp order states "reasonable visitation".
The last time the kids(two girls, ages 10 and 13)saw dad was January 29th. He has moved and changed his phone number since then so now we have no way to contact him. All I know is that he's somewhere close to his married girlfriend and her 4 kids. He tells me and the kids that he will be here a certain day and time to pick them up, then never shows or calls. He was supposed to pick them up last Sunday from 8 am to 8 pm, 13 yr old called him from 8:30 am to 5 pm when he finally answered and told her that he wasn't coming because it's a waste of gas. This was his weekend to have them, but he never showed up or called, and we don't have a number to call him at now. The kids had their things packed and stood at the door waiting for him Friday until almost 8 pm. What do I do? It tears my heart out when my kids are completely inconsolable because their dad backs out on promises to see them. The kids and I have been seeing a counselor weekly since day one of this mess.

You may have to wait for the 28 Feb conference to ask the court that the father be required to give you some kind of contact info.

 

[ICUB4ER]

I would like to try to get that info now, as it REALLY concerns me that I have no address or phone number for when he has the kids. I will have no idea where they are or how to contact them if needed. I don't know what he is capable of anymore. Friday, he cancelled my auto insurance, and shut my phone off Saturday. I NEED to know where my kids are when he has them!

 

[seniorjudge]

I would like to try to get that info now, as it REALLY concerns me that I have no address or phone number for when he has the kids. I will have no idea where they are or how to contact them if needed. I don't know what he is capable of anymore. Friday, he cancelled my auto insurance, and shut my phone off Saturday. I NEED to know where my kids are when he has them!

Get the insurance and phone in your name.

Tell him the kids don't go unless you have contact info.

Ask his lawyer where he is.

Go to the courthouse and look at your file and see what address he has there.

 

[stealth2]

Why have you - in close to a year (or longer) - not had the phone service and/or insurance switched to your name?

 

[ICUB4ER]

It hasn't been anywhere near a year. I filed for divorce October 5th of 2005, the settlement conference is scheduled for February 28th, 2006. I didn't change anything because the temp order said not to.

The temp order states...The parties are restrained and enjoined from canceling any utility services and/or deposits or canceling or modifying (including changing beneficiaries) of any existing pension benefits, medical, health, automobile, homeowners or renters, life or disability insurance coverages involving family members or their property.

 

[acmb05]

It hasn't been anywhere near a year. I filed for divorce October 5th of 2005, the settlement conference is scheduled for February 28th, 2006. I didn't change anything because the temp order said not to.

The temp order states...The parties are restrained and enjoined from canceling any utility services and/or deposits or canceling or modifying (including changing beneficiaries) of any existing pension benefits, medical, health, automobile, homeowners or renters, life or disability insurance coverages involving family members or their property.

Then file a contempt against him for cancelling the insurance.

 

[stealth2]

So...... it took from January until October for you to file for divorce? Okay.

 

[acmb05]

So...... it took from January until October for you to file for divorce? Okay.

Think maybe she messed up on that first date she put in there? The way it looks they have not seen father since January of 05 which would be over a year now.

 

[ICUB4ER]

I don't understand where you are getting that it took me from January to October to file? Nevermind, I just scrolled down and see that I wrote JANUARY instead of DECEMBER..DUH! Anyway...He told me on October 4th, 2005 that he wanted a divorce, I filed on October 5th, 2005. The last time he saw the kids was December 29th, 2005. Yesterday I tried to use my phone and it had been disconnected. I called and was told that the account had been cancelled. I also received a letter yesterday from my auto insurance agent that I and two cars were removed from the policy on January 18th, 2006. Clear as mud now?

 

[acmb05]

I don't understand where you are getting that it took me from January to October to file? Nevermind, I just scrolled down and see that I wrote JANUARY instead of DECEMBER..DUH! Anyway...He told me on October 4th, 2005 that he wanted a divorce, I filed on October 5th, 2005. The last time he saw the kids was December 29th, 2005. Yesterday I tried to use my phone and it had been disconnected. I called and was told that the account had been cancelled. I also received a letter yesterday from my auto insurance agent that I and two cars were removed from the policy on January 18th, 2006. Clear as mud now?

Again I say file contempt charges for cancelling the insurance. I am not sure if a phone is considered a utility since it is not a necessity.

 

[seniorjudge]

... I am not sure if a phone is considered a utility since it is not a necessity....

Of course telephones are utilities!

 

[ceara19]

Your kids are 10 & 13. They are more than old enough to look at the street name and the number on the house and let you know where dad is taking them. They are also old enough to pick up the phone and call while they are there, then you would have the # on caller ID. If you just deny his visitation, you are running the risk of being held in contempt.

 

[ICUB4ER]

He lives out in the country and his address is not posted on his house. The 13 yr old has looked for a street sign when he takes them, but hasn't seen one after they turn off of the highway. Also, his phone is a cell which he keeps on him at all times and refuses all of their requests to use it. They are not allowed any type of contact with me when he has them. He wouldn't even let them call me on December 28th, the night they were supposed to be returned to me, to let me know that he wouldn't be bringing them back until the 29th. I tried to get the police to help me get the kids after they were 2 hours late, I also tried to file a police report, but was refused even though I am the CP, because he is the father.

 

[ceara19]

He lives out in the country and his address is not posted on his house. The 13 yr old has looked for a street sign when he takes them, but hasn't seen one after they turn off of the highway. Also, his phone is a cell which he keeps on him at all times and refuses all of their requests to use it. They are not allowed any type of contact with me when he has them. He wouldn't even let them call me on December 28th, the night they were supposed to be returned to me, to let me know that he wouldn't be bringing them back until the 29th. I tried to get the police to help me get the kids after they were 2 hours late, I also tried to file a police report, but was refused even though I am the CP, because he is the father.

Could your 13 year old show you where he lives? Some kids have a good sense of direction and could do this, but then there are those with NO sense direction at all. The police won't get involved at this point at all. You didn't have a CO stating he had to return them by a set time. You need to make sure you final orders are very clear as to when he can have the children and when he has to return. That way, if he doesn't bring them home on time, the police will at least take the report.