Not Married--have child

[Blizzard]

Live in Illinois.

My daughter has lived with her boyfriend for 2 years now. They just had a child. The boyfriend's name is on the birth certificate--as father--and last name of baby.

I understand there are no common law marriages within Illinois. I know this is an open-ended question, but can anyone "guide" me as to what to watch out for? What I mean is that I want to protect my daughter's interests and was wondering if there is anything specific that I might want to "take notice" of.

I hear a lot about custodial parent and non-custodial. Since they are not married, are both considered custodial? I know this is a tax question, but, only one takes the tax break--will this have an effect (against her) in the future?

Should I just relax and not worry.....Or....should I just go to a lawyer and have them do all the research?

Thanks much!!!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Live in Illinois.

My daughter has lived with her boyfriend for 2 years now. They just had a child. The boyfriend's name is on the birth certificate--as father--and last name of baby.

I understand there are no common law marriages within Illinois. I know this is an open-ended question, but can anyone "guide" me as to what to watch out for? What I mean is that I want to protect my daughter's interests and was wondering if there is anything specific that I might want to "take notice" of.

I hear a lot about custodial parent and non-custodial. Since they are not married, are both considered custodial? I know this is a tax question, but, only one takes the tax break--will this have an effect (against her) in the future?

Should I just relax and not worry.....Or....should I just go to a lawyer and have them do all the research?

Thanks much!!!

My response:

Right now, your daughter is legally on the edge. Without court orders for child support, custody and visitation, either parent could, theoretically, take the child out of State and play "keep away". Or, baby's father could just up and disappear one day, both situations would make life real difficult.

For your daughter's and grandaughter's protection, see an attorney to file the appropriate Petition and have such orders made.

The two of them may be getting along famously today, but you never know what tomorrow will bring. This is your daughter's insurance policy for the future. File the Petition while "the getting's good."

Explain to the father this is a formality, which it is, for the protection of all parties - - including him.

IAAL

[Edited by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE on 01-02-2001 at 04:08 PM]

 

[Grandma B]

Don't be offended by this remark because I will be the first to admit that I'd be doing exactly what you are doing.

However . . .

I'm wondering how old your daughter is, and whether possibly SHE should be the one asking the questions and looking out for the best interests of her and her child.

 

[Blizzard]

Thank you both for the replies! I'm more apt to file the papers and protect her (and my grandbaby). I love the "I'm not liable" handle!!

I'm not offended by your reply Grandma B. She is 20 years old. I have concerns because I "suggested heavily" that she marry while pregnant to avoid any legal tangles. I can go into lengthy detail of her rationale--but it made little sense to me (irrational)--and that's why I'm worried. She is smart (good grades), but sometimes lacks common sense (did I say that?).

Last I talked to her, she stated that she will probably get married soon and that is why she put the baby's last name in his name--to avoid legal payments and hassle to change the name when they do get married. But...funny she thinks of that (bet it's his idea), but not when I tried to explain about taxes, custody, and other issues.

He's a "nice enough" guy, but I'm a mother protecting my daughter. Hopefully, they will set a date REAL SOON. Otherwise, we will talk. Thank you both again--and if you think of anything else, I'll take all the advice you give!!

 

[littlestar]

I'm in a similar situation

Hi. I'm 27 and in a similar situation. I'm about to have a baby, but because of the issues you've discussed, I'm not putting the father's name on the birth certificate and the baby will have my last name. (I'm not with the father anymore).

By doing this, can I prevent him from taking the baby away from me? Can he still try to keep me in the state? And what about child support? If I don't put it on paper that he's the father, can I still get him to pay child support?

Thanks so much for any input anyone might have. I'm really struggling with this trying to make the best decision before the baby's born which is about 6 weeks away!

 

[Blizzard]

I hope a lawyer answers your question.....if not, you may want to repost as a separate question. I'm not a lawyer!! After my daughter gave birth, the hospital had her fill out papers and her boyfriend fill some out (he was there the whole time). They had a nurse witness the signatures. I'm assuming (note assuming--and never assume anything!!) that they were "establishing" paternity only. My daughter can't really remember what they were for (she wasn't feeling so hot after giving birth). But, still, I think it is a good idea to at least have the father's name on the birth certificate (as the father), but go with giving the child your last name (but....that's just my opinion). I don't know what the legalities would be!! Are you in Illinois as well?