Not sure where i stand.

[Matao99]

I need some kind of advice or input.I'm common law married to my wife for 4 1/2 years,We have a 19 month old son.I stay home and watch our son while my wife works.I used to before i met my wife.Then the company i worked for started to go out of business.I worked at a plating shop.Work got slow, i was only going in for half days(cause the lack of work).It finally came to a point where i would go in for an hour or two then get sent home.So after talking me and my wife decide we had both wanted a child.We figured she had made enough money to support us being she worked for a good company and all(70k a year),and I had no problems with staying home being I had wanted a son since the age of 18.I have my son now,It's 4 1/2 years later and well things aren't all what I had hoped for,Money got a little tight.So I took up a night stocking job,it didn't last long cause staying up all night and coming home to watch my son then sleeping as soon as my wife came home, I would then get to go to bed and rest up for work that night,which was about 4-5 hours of sleep. When you haven't worked steadily in a long time it's kind of rough to just go out there and pick up where you left off.We are doing better now(finacially),Well it's coming to point in our relationship to maybe go our separate ways.All I ever hear anymore is how much i don't work and how worthless I am(mind you she only points this out cause she is mad at me,it never seems to matter that i'm notworking any other time).I guess my real question is....


What do I do now?IF we separate i'm afraid i'm going to lose my son.I need to know what I need to do to have the best chance for custody.I'm 28 and i feel like I'm back graduating from high school and lost again.Only thing i'm sure of is how much I love my son and how i want him to be with me.So if anyone can maybe help lead me in a direction that will make this possible or atleast give me a fighting chance to keep him.The way i see it is I have lots to do and change before I come face to face with a judge and he makes his choice.


Do I even have a chance?????????

 

[hound dog]

No b.c you are a man the judge will look at you like a daed beat that do not want to work......keep in mind that there are alot of women who are stay at home mommies but that is different in our society the judge will most likely award your wife the child b.c she is a woman.....sorry

 

[Illinois Parent]

First, what state are you in?

Second, dont listen to hound dog, he is dead wrong. While it is true that courts tend to award primary custody to the mother, it is usually because the mother is and has been the primary care giver. Historically, a woman's place was in the home, men were not seen by society or the courts (which are a reflection of society) as capable of being the nuturing one.

Third, there are attorney's all across the country who specialize in 'Father's Rights'.

 

[dorenephilpot]

Most of the time, the parents simply AGREE that the mother will be the primary physical custodian of the children.

However, in the few cases where the dad fights for custody, my personal experience in court has been that about 90 percent of them win it.

Why? (No. It's not because I'm the world's greatest lawyer.)

I believe it's because usually the dads don't fight for custody unless there are very serious deficits with the mom.