OK, have a question for Wise Ones here..

[Bruno6301]

What is the name of your state? Good Ol' Jersey:

I was on another site, and I was reading something that generated a thought/question in my head.

Situation: Father signed over his rights to 3 minor kids, pays support on a bi-weekly basis, BUT: never sees them, talks to them, does not want contact in any shape, fashion or form. I mean this guy does not even buy B-Day cards, Xmas gifts, school items, etc...Does not even give them his phone numbers. He is not (I believe) even on any emergency contact lists at their schools..I mean nothing. Does this constitute being abandoned? Or is the fact he pays support not make it a case of being abandoned????

I am confused and an going nutty with wondering... Thanks Wise Owls...in advance...

 

[stealth2]

Since he pays support, he has not abandoned them. What do you mean by "he signed over his rights"?

 

[HomeGuru]

Was there a TPR and does the mother have full custody?

 

[usmcfamily]

By "signed over his rights" are you referring to his parental rights? If he signed over his parental rights (not his responsibilities but his legal rights to access, etc) why is the fact that he is not contacting them surprising? That is exactly the point to that kind of arrangement -- it give those men that want nothing to do with their children a legal paper stating that but does not give them an out on the obligation to support them.
For most states the definition of legal abandonment is the failure to provide emotional and financial support of a child for x months (varies by state on how many months) -- since he IS providing financial support he has not legally abandoned them........

 

[Bruno6301]

Hmmm...not sure what state this guy was in..all I saw was that he signed away visitation, etc...but still pays support. He said only way out of support was adoption by a step parent. What I am curious about is the emotional abandonment issues. This really set my head to thinking. From what I gather, he just wanted them out of his life, and he just writes a check each month.

What can the mother do in this instance? He does not even want them if she were to perish. Is emotional support of a child required??? This is something..

 

[nextwife]

First, WHAT exactly DOES the CP want to happen? She is recieving support, and she has sole control of the kids. She can't force involvement, especially if parenting was her choice.

And remember, in many states, a biomom that wants what this biodad wants, i.e. no responsibility for raising her kids, IS entitled to get that. It's called adoption (when the biomom makes this choice), and in a number of states, if unmarried, no BF consent is required to accomplish this! Men do not have the same option - to make an adoption plan if they do not wish to parent. My daughter's biomom wanted to relinquish all rights, and WAS able to just sign over rights (this was not US, but could have been), and had the right to do that, with no one ready to adopt at the time (adoption was 2 years after relinquishment).

I'm not sure what legal action you expect exists that will remove BF any further, as he already has given up rights, other than a steparent adoption.

 

[Bruno6301]

Ok, I went back and read more of the story...He and his wife were having problems with the ex and the kids, and he said, "The hell with it all"...he signed away his rights to everything except he has to pay child support...Anyway, the Ex was in shock and could not believe that he would just give them away...(I imagine I would be in shock too) but he did.

He has new kids with the new bride, and just did not want them in his life anymore because of all the problems with visitation, sleep overs, arguements with her, etc...

Where my curiosity is is here: Can she say he just abandoned them? Even though he pays child support, they know that their father gave them away for the wife and new kids...Isn't that emotional abandonment, and if it is, can she do something to him???? I told him to come here, but I don't see him yet.

All I read just put this question in my head...sorry to be a pain...it had to hurt them...

 

[Whyte Noise]

Is emotional support of a child required??? This is something..

Not to be cold or callous.... but if "emotional support" were all that important, then the courts wouldn't label a parent as an NCP, reduce their involvement in their child's life to every other weekend, and "allow" that same parent to "visit" with their own child.

I'm not saying that it's not important to be emotionally involved with your child even if you aren't there. I'm just stating facts, and what the courts do. Apparently they don't think it's all that important.

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

This is just my own opinion

But for a father to get to the point of saying "F it", his ex must have made his life miserable and next to impossible to have a relationship with his kids. Now she wants to "do something to him"? There's nothing more she can do to him that she hasn't already done. She can't sue him for signing away his rights. She more than likely had to agree with that for him to able to do it. She can't sue him for abandoning them b/c of that. She can't throw him in jail for emotional abandonment. She's still getting his money. I would suggest you tell her to leave him alone and forget it.