Ok..

[nebraskafan]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

Explain this to me like I am 4 and stupid. (No Smart a$$ comments necessary).

My daughter has a ortho appt. and he can't attend because he is only working 20 hours a week (I work 60), I have a client in town. I put all money for the braces in my FSA and have to incur the debt before the plan year ends. He can't do it. Mind you I take care of her in all other ways. What recourse do I have?

Can I withhold? (I know the answer on that pretty much)...But I want to know where his responsibility begins! I mean JC...I pay for alll...all I ask is one gd dr's appt where i give him everything! WTF??

 

[Zigner]

Too many pronouns...

Take the child yourself.

 

[nebraskafan]

Thanks. Like I said, I work 60 hours a week to take care of all other ammenities she enjoys. All I asked for was 1 hour of his time while a client was in town. Why is that my responsibility alone????

Please educate me on what exactly being a parent entails because I see no action of it in him. I'm tired of working so hard while he does nothing!

Thanks.

 

[cyjeff]

A parent entails exactly that amount of time and love that each parent thinks it does.

This is not a legal answer, but a human one.

Someday, he will wish he had this time back. For now, trust that your daughter sees you as a person she can trust and rely on no matter what.

 

[Silverplum]

If he's the NCP (I presume he is), and he is paying his court ordered CS (I assume he is), then he IS doing everything the law expects of him.

The standard answer, which is designed to make you THINK, is this: If you don't enjoy being CP, you can give the child to him and pay CS to him and be done with it.

Or, being a fan of Nebraska...no deal on the (legal) dumping of your child at a firehouse or hospital, I assume?

Then that's the life of the CP.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Explain this to me like I am 4 and stupid.

Uhhh...okay.

Uh uh, sweetheart, no-no! Her can't withhold Daddy's visitation! Now, you be a good girl and share. Remember? Sharing is important. I know that mean old man isn't being a Good Helper. It's okay. If the nice judge said he's supposed to help you, you go talk to the judge and let him know that old meanie isn't playing fair. He'll make it all better and tell him to be nice or he'll get a time out. Now, make sure you play fair, too, like the nice judge said or her might gets a boo boo.

 

[nebraskafan]

Thanks - but...I guess I'm slow.

He gets the benefit of being dad/sperm donor without having to take any responsibility. i have to turn her over every other weekend and he does nothing??? Where's the fortitude?? Where's the man in that??

i have to do his job, my job and his and my job financial wise. Suh-weet. So it's easier to not have deal with the needs everyday. Nice that the court doesn't take that into account. All they knew was not to cut off dads..Ok I agree with that, but Jesus to leave us dealing with the rest leaves me speachless. if they rule on paternity and visitation, they need to rule on support as the same time.

 

[cyjeff]

Thanks - but...I guess I'm slow.

He gets the benefit of being dad/sperm donor without having to take any responsibility. i have to turn her over every other weekend and he does nothing??? Where's the fortitude?? Where's the man in that??

i have to do his job, my job and his and my job financial wise. Suh-weet. So it's easier to not have deal with the needs everyday. Nice that the court doesn't take that into account. All they knew was not to cut off dads..Ok I agree with that, but Jesus to leave us dealing with the rest leaves me speachless. if they rule on paternity and visitation, they need to rule on support as the same time.

Feel better?

Good.

Legally, the courts can't force someone to be a good parent. They can force them to support a child, but cannot force an emotional relationship.

 

[cyjeff]

Still doesn't change the fact that the courts can't force someone to be a good parent. We didn't choose your daughter's father... you did.

All we can do is tell you what the court will and will not do.

 

[nebraskafan]

Fine cyjeff & I accept that. However, that does not ok the bad behavior of the NCP. What I wanted to know was what I can do to remove him.

He obviously does not support fiancially, does not attend any function...etc..

That is what I am asking. When is enough, enough?

 

[>Charlotte<]

What part of "talk to me like a stupid four year old" did I misunderstand?

 

[nebraskafan]

hahah - i can take a good joke. that was lame. try again..

advice from anyone who knows anything?

 

[cyjeff]

Fine cyjeff & I accept that. However, that does not ok the bad behavior of the NCP. What I wanted to know was what I can do to remove him.

He obviously does not support fiancially, does not attend any function...etc..

That is what I am asking. When is enough, enough?

You don't get to remove him as the father when his parenting doesn't live up to your standards.

He gets to be the dad for as long as you get to be the mom. Forever.

Better, why don't you take him back to court to insist you alternate appointments or something.

 

[escape2paradise]

Fine cyjeff & I accept that. However, that does not ok the bad behavior of the NCP. What I wanted to know was what I can do to remove him.

He obviously does not support fiancially, does not attend any function...etc..

That is what I am asking. When is enough, enough?

Would you like some cheese with your whine? As unfair as it is, as irritating as it is, too bad! That is the legal reality! You should have picked a man that would give two sh*ts for his kid. Now your stuck just like every other CP in the world. I'm a CP I feel your pain my
X is a real piece of work. You can't change him so deal with it and do what's right by your child regardless if dads is an a$$!

 

[nebraskafan]

Would you like some cheese with your whine? As unfair as it is, as irritating as it is, too bad! That is the legal reality! You should have picked a man that would give two sh*ts for his kid. Now your stuck just like every other CP in the world. I'm a CP I feel your pain my
X is a real piece of work. You can't change him so deal with it and do what's right by your child regardless if dads is an a$$!

I am and have been. My daughter is almost a teen and I have done all, so while I appreciate your "support", leave the bs at the door.

Cyjeff - You are right. Thank you