Parental rights

[ivory]

What is the name of your state? New York
My husband had an affair on me, the gril went behind his back became pregnant, stating she just wanted a "choclate baby" He was never with her through the whole thing, she has snet us letters and just a new one yesturday asking my husband to sent a letter to Department of social services stating he wants no rights or anything to do with her child. he is not on the birth certificate, he did not sign any papers, can we just write a letter stating his wishes and her request? Or do we need our lawyer to do it???What is the name of your state?

 

[tigger22472]

What is the name of your state? New York
My husband had an affair on me, the gril went behind his back became pregnant, stating she just wanted a "choclate baby" He was never with her through the whole thing, she has snet us letters and just a new one yesturday asking my husband to sent a letter to Department of social services stating he wants no rights or anything to do with her child. he is not on the birth certificate, he did not sign any papers, can we just write a letter stating his wishes and her request? Or do we need our lawyer to do it???What is the name of your state?

Neither,
He will not be able to simple give up 'rights.' Technically until he is declared the father he doesn't have any rights anyway but she has the right to go to court and get child support once paternity is established. If she receives any state aid the state will take on the role of making sure paternity is established.

 

[NoDiggety]

What is the name of your state? New York
My husband had an affair on me, the gril went behind his back became pregnant, stating she just wanted a "choclate baby"

Hmm. How did she "go behind his back?" Did she drug him and rape him? I don't think so.

He was never with her through the whole thing,

Huh? So he was unconscious?

she has snet us letters and just a new one yesturday asking my husband to sent a letter to Department of social services stating he wants no rights or anything to do with her child.

That's not how it works and it isn't her call. As of this point, he is not the father...a DNA test would prove he is the father...so if she doesn't want him in her or the child's life, she doesn't have to do anything. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have to...he can certainly request a DNA test and she would have no choice.

he is not on the birth certificate,

Irrelevant.

he did not sign any papers, can we just write a letter stating his wishes and her request?

No, ignore her. If she continues sending letters, either save them or send them back by writing "refused...return to sender" But then there is no proof she sent them anyway if it was through USPS regular mail.

 

[ivory]

she told him she was on the pill he asked to see them and she showed them to him, in a text message we received she even stated that she laid about being on the pill to him

 

[ivory]

Neither,
He will not be able to simple give up 'rights.' Technically until he is declared the father he doesn't have any rights anyway but she has the right to go to court and get child support once paternity is established. If she receives any state aid the state will take on the role of making sure paternity is established.

NOw she has clearly stated that she wants nothing from us and does not want the child to know him which is fine, my ex signed off all rights on our daugter when she was 1 month old and my husband adopted her and is her father and daddy so I know that we can sign off all rights and pay nothing. She stated that she is going for help with daycare and needs us to write a letter stating we waive all rights and want nothing to do with it or her. should our lawyer write the letter?

 

[tigger22472]

NOw she has clearly stated that she wants nothing from us and does not want the child to know him which is fine, my ex signed off all rights on our daugter when she was 1 month old and my husband adopted her and is her father and daddy so I know that we can sign off all rights and pay nothing. She stated that she is going for help with daycare and needs us to write a letter stating we waive all rights and want nothing to do with it or her. should our lawyer write the letter?

And does this woman plan to have the child adopted?

 

[ivory]

she told us yes but we are told some many lies it is not funny. I know when my ex signed off he had to state that he gives consent for my daughter to be adopted, but you have to be married or this judge here will not approve it. I was not married to my husband when my ex signed off and he was relieved of all child support. Thats why he did it because he is in the Marines and got hit hard with support, its better. We just want this person to go and be on her way she got her choclate baby now leave us alone..

 

[stealth2]

Wow. I think this child would be better off with none of you in his/her life. Poor kid.

 

[Ohiogal]

she told him she was on the pill he asked to see them and she showed them to him, in a text message we received she even stated that she laid about being on the pill to him

So? He slept with her. Birth control isn't 100% anyway. Be mad at her all you want but your husband is the one who cheated and once determined to be daddy will be partially responsible for financially supporting this child for 18 years at least. Your husband's excuses are JUST THAT -- excuses!

 

[enjay]

Your husband not only had an affair but also disregarded your health by not using a condom and you are placing all of the blame on the woman. Why is that?

Poor little baby. If paternity is established, your husband will not be able to simply sign over his rights unless the mother of the child is married and her husband wishes to adopt.

 

[Ohiogal]

Your husband not only had an affair but also disregarded your health by not using a condom and you are placing all of the blame on the woman. Why is that?

Poor little baby. If paternity is established, your husband will not be able to simply sign over his rights unless the mother of the child is married and her husband wishes to adopt.

Or unless the mom wants to give the baby up for adoption as well.