Parenting Plan Laws

[WAmom]

What is the name of your state? Washington

My husbands and my divorce was final when I was eight months pregnant with our son. I made a parenting plan for this unborn child because I thought I had to. You should have seen the blubbering mess I was, trying to think about my unborn child when he's schoolage and who gets him on what weekends/holidays ect.

My now ex-husband abandoned our son a year later and didnt get in contact with us until our son was five years old. His now new wife is pushing this outdated parenting plan on me, I am trying to get it changed, but as most of you probably know Family Court Services are backlogged. We have a court date for October 2007, but my ex and his wife are fighting me on everything.

Anyway, I had a friend ask me if the original PP is legal because it was made before there was a child to use it with. Does anyone know anything about this? Or have any thoughts?

I appreciate you taking the time to read this soap opera.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? Washington

My husbands and my divorce was final when I was eight months pregnant with our son. I made a parenting plan for this unborn child because I thought I had to. You should have seen the blubbering mess I was, trying to think about my unborn child when he's schoolage and who gets him on what weekends/holidays ect.

My now ex-husband abandoned our son a year later and didnt get in contact with us until our son was five years old. His now new wife is pushing this outdated parenting plan on me, I am trying to get it changed, but as most of you probably know Family Court Services are backlogged. We have a court date for October 2007, but my ex and his wife are fighting me on everything.

Anyway, I had a friend ask me if the original PP is legal because it was made before there was a child to use it with. Does anyone know anything about this? Or have any thoughts?

I appreciate you taking the time to read this soap opera.

Court orders are valid until they're changed by another court order. If the parenting plan was signed off as part of the divorce/custody agreement, then it's a court order and you have to follow it.

 

[fairisfair]

Is the parenting plan a part of the court order?? If so, then yes, you must abide by it until such time as the court grants you a modification.

 

[WAmom]

Is the parenting plan a part of the court order?? If so, then yes, you must abide by it until such time as the court grants you a modification.

Yes the PP was signed with all of the other divorce paperwork.

My lawyer didnt advise me to file for a temporary PP when the ex came back into our sons life. Should I have done this or is it too late? AND Does my ex still have rights after four years of abandonment?

 

[Silverplum]

Yes the PP was signed with all of the other divorce paperwork.

My lawyer didnt advise me to file for a temporary PP when the ex came back into our sons life. Should I have done this or is it too late? AND Does my ex still have rights after four years of abandonment?

Of course he still has rights -- did half of your kid's GENES suddenly fall off?

You should have filed to suspend visitation during the time he was out of the kid's life. Now it's too late. You probably could also have filed for termination of rights, but again, it's too late now.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Has your son had any meaningful contact with the Father? Would your son be comfortable alone with his dad? I am in no way a lawyer and by not abiding by the Court Order you could be found in contempt of court and sanctioned (sanctions range from admonishment to (rare but not impossible) reversal of custody)

Because the child has a right to his dad as dad has a right to his child but to the poin tof wha tis in the child's best interest, although not abiding by the court order is contempt a Judge may find that logically turning a child over for the EOW visitation you wrote down 5 years ago when dad was going to be a constant is not now a possibility since dad is a stranger or pretty much a stranger due to his four yeear absence. Than again maybe you can work out some kind of visitation so dad and child can get aquainted and eventually have regualr visitation.

 

[Silverplum]

Has your son had any meaningful contact with the Father? Would your son be comfortable alone with his dad? I am in no way a lawyer and by not abiding by the Court Order you could be found in contempt of court and sanctioned (sanctions range from admonishment to (rare but not impossible) reversal of custody)

Because the child has a right to his dad as dad has a right to his child but to the poin tof wha tis in the child's best interest, although not abiding by the court order is contempt a Judge may find that logically turning a child over for the EOW visitation you wrote down 5 years ago when dad was going to be a constant is not now a possibility since dad is a stranger or pretty much a stranger due to his four yeear absence. Than again maybe you can work out some kind of visitation so dad and child can get aquainted and eventually have regualr visitation.

OP writes in her first post:
"I am trying to get it changed, but as most of you probably know Family Court Services are backlogged. We have a court date for October 2007..."

The court order stands as is, until changed by a new order.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

OP writes in her first post:
"I am trying to get it changed, but as most of you probably know Family Court Services are backlogged. We have a court date for October 2007..."

The court order stands as is, until changed by a new order.

I apologize I was doing two things at once and I thought I expressed what I was trying to say much better than I did.

What I was getting at was that if she were to say no and not abide by the Court Order visitation she would be in contempt, but even so if dad had not had any relationship in 4 years a Judge may not expect her to now abide by it and to take her chances with a contempt charge rather than risk handing the child over for a length of time that given the circumstances is not reasonable or in the childs best interest.

But I also suggest that no matter what choice is made while awaiting the court date for whatever reason (new wife, etc) the dad now wants to exercise his rights to the child and that maybe to appease dad and yet stay in her safety zone some kind of supervised/ limited visitation schedule could be verbally worked out pending the court date.

Which could leave dad appeased and mom feeling better and child getting the oppurtunity to know dad as well.

Just an alternate view I am in NO WAY advocating acting in a way contrary to a Court Order or even beginning to guess what Judge may or may not say/do

 

[WAmom]

I apologize I was doing two things at once and I thought I expressed what I was trying to say much better than I did.

What I was getting at was that if she were to say no and not abide by the Court Order visitation she would be in contempt, but even so if dad had not had any relationship in 4 years a Judge may not expect her to now abide by it and to take her chances with a contempt charge rather than risk handing the child over for a length of time that given the circumstances is not reasonable or in the childs best interest.

But I also suggest that no matter what choice is made while awaiting the court date for whatever reason (new wife, etc) the dad now wants to exercise his rights to the child and that maybe to appease dad and yet stay in her safety zone some kind of supervised/ limited visitation schedule could be verbally worked out pending the court date.

Which could leave dad appeased and mom feeling better and child getting the oppurtunity to know dad as well.

Just an alternate view I am in NO WAY advocating acting in a way contrary to a Court Order or even beginning to guess what Judge may or may not say/do

There are a lot of other circumstances; My ex is mentally ill, is a pathological liar, and has multiple suicide attemps under his belt. The biggest problem is I cant prove he's a liar!! I have been listening in on phone conversations between my son and him, he has lied to him, but he basically throws it in my face and says, "Prove it." He also says that if I bring up his mental illness again he will press charges against me.

I recorded a conversation between him, his wife, and myself (I told him I was recording of course), but it's not like he's going to admit anything while i'm recording.

I want to protect my son from his illness, but I dont know what to do, or how to do it.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Like I said I will not tell you you should act in contempt and the order states that dad gets the visitation you wrote down so not giving him exactly that is being in contempt and you could suffer from court sanctions as serious as reversal of custody

That being said the childs safety is number one and you must do what is best and safest for the child until the issue is addressed by the court in October.

But the truth is if you can't prove dad is a danger he will get some kind of contact with the child come October

Good Luck

 

[Silverplum]

There are a lot of other circumstances; My ex is mentally ill, is a pathological liar, and has multiple suicide attemps under his belt. The biggest problem is I cant prove he's a liar!! I have been listening in on phone conversations between my son and him, he has lied to him, but he basically throws it in my face and says, "Prove it." He also says that if I bring up his mental illness again he will press charges against me.

Everyone says this by post #3, after they've been told they can't deny visitation. Seriously. It goes like this:
Post 1: I want to prevent visitation. Dad's no good.
Post 2: Are you sure? Really? Even if he's really no good?
Post 3: He's abusive/mentally ill/does drugs/alcoholic/big list of grievances.

Fact: You ARE going to have to PROVE in court that Dad is dangerous specifically to his child.

I recorded a conversation between him, his wife, and myself (I told him I was recording of course), but it's not like he's going to admit anything while i'm recording.

Good grief, that's illegal in your state! Stop that at once!
http://www.aapsonline.org/judicial/telephone.htm

I want to protect my son from his illness, but I dont know what to do, or how to do it.

You can't. He's the father. You didn't act to remove his rights when you could have, you didn't choose a different father initially...what is, is.

 

[acmb05]

Iagree with everything you said except this.

Good grief, that's illegal in your state! Stop that at once!
http://www.aapsonline.org/judicial/telephone.htm

Washington is a two party state and she said she did inform them that she was taping the conversation so she broke no laws here.

 

[LdiJ]

I am going to disagree slightly with the position that mom MUST follow the old court order.

Dad is a stranger to the child. Mom has properly filed to modify the visitation and has a court date.

Its not very likely that a judge would find mom in contempt for not honoring the original parenting plan under these circumstances. It could happen, but its not guaranteed. Judges do use logic and well as law in making decisions.

However, if mom allows no visitation at all between now and October, then its far more likely that she would be found in contempt.

Mom, you need to be allowing at least supervised visitation between dad and the child until your court date and if you don't have an attorney, you really should consider hiring one.

 

[WAmom]

I am going to disagree slightly with the position that mom MUST follow the old court order.

Dad is a stranger to the child. Mom has properly filed to modify the visitation and has a court date.

Its not very likely that a judge would find mom in contempt for not honoring the original parenting plan under these circumstances. It could happen, but its not guaranteed. Judges do use logic and well as law in making decisions.

However, if mom allows no visitation at all between now and October, then its far more likely that she would be found in contempt.

Mom, you need to be allowing at least supervised visitation between dad and the child until your court date and if you don't have an attorney, you really should consider hiring one.

I do have a lawyer, but she can only do so much. I am doing part of the parenting plan; I am supervising his weekly visits, but I am very hesitant to let my son stay the night with him, so I am in contempt for that. He is to have my son every other weekend, Friday-Sunday, and every Wed. I am allowing the Wednesday visits, but like I said, I am supervising them, against my ex's wishes.

OH, just FYI...I found out my ex and his wife have been claiming my son to get DSHS benefits. I am the custodial parent and provide 100% of the care. I filed a welfare fraud charge, but the system is so logged, who knows what will happen.

 

[LdiJ]

I do have a lawyer, but she can only do so much. I am doing part of the parenting plan; I am supervising his weekly visits, but I am very hesitant to let my son stay the night with him, so I am in contempt for that. He is to have my son every other weekend, Friday-Sunday, and every Wed. I am allowing the Wednesday visits, but like I said, I am supervising them, against my ex's wishes.

OH, just FYI...I found out my ex and his wife have been claiming my son to get DSHS benefits. I am the custodial parent and provide 100% of the care. I filed a welfare fraud charge, but the system is so logged, who knows what will happen.

Well...they are certain pieces of work, aren't they.