I already told you I wsn't going to discuss this off line so I am posting your question, which has been asked before here.
Private Message: Re Pearl6570
Yesterday, 09:56 PM
pearl6570
Junior Member
Re Pearl6570
I am not lying about perturnity I dont want him on birth certificate he is a drug addict and is dangerus I dont want him taking my child to a hotel room with prositutes and crack and meth would ya know. My layer advised me to not put him on the birth certificate. Can he take my child from me. If I dont pertisipate in the perturnity test as he is saying. Yes or no. Or do ya know I sure need to know I am freeked out this is the second time he has threated this He did $1,000 of damedge to my car just last week I dont want him in my life he is not at all intrested in the child he clames he will get $500 more on his Social Security Disability Which he will do drug on This will never go to my daughter. We are not married. He is has a record a mile long and has been violent with me as well as stalking me and harassing me. As well as doing damedge to my car and motorcycle. When he went out on me and while he was doing drugs I had done the same on 1 occation so I realy dont know for sure untill a perturnity test is done He just wants the perturnity test done so that he can get his hands on the money so he can do more drugs and put shelby in a bad cituation. I am trying to avoid that.
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You need to consult a competent family law attorney, not some wel meaning family friend, as it stands now you are very misinformed about the process and I get the feeling that there may also be communication problems as well.
You need to address these issues.
Establishing paternity, custody, child support and visitation are all different issues.
The process starts with establishing paternity, until then, unless there is a reason that a court has ruled otherwise, due to your fitness as a parent, you have custody and are not obligated to to allow visitation although you may allow it on your terms.
Not naming him on the birth certificate does not prevent him from petitioning the court for his parental rights to establish paternity, to file for some sort of custody and some sort of visitation. Custody may include anything from you having sole custody to him having sole custody or some combinaiton of joint custody where you share parenting to some degree, but most likely with you being primary residential custodian. Visitation doesn't mean that he gets to do anything with the child at least at first, visitation can have many rules, such as him taking a parenting class, drug tests, supervised visitation, limited use of alcohol or other substances within 24 hours of visitation, transportation by a licensed driver in an insured and registered vehicle, limitations on unrelated adults present so on and so forth. A judge will decide these based on your petitions and the facts of the case. Utah is very likely to place restrictions on his use of alcohol and illegal substances but it is also likely to encourage his parental relationship with the child.
Let's say that he is proved to be the biological father of the child, that doesn't even automatically mean that his name goes on the birth certificate or that the child gets his name, these also require petition to the court and a judge to consider the facts. The big bonus is that once paternity is established by DNA if it has not already been established by Acknowledgement of paternity, you can apply to Social Security for your child's dependent's benefits and you will be declared to be the child's representitive payee, that $500 per month or what ever the amount will be paid directly to you and would be in lieu of what ever amount of child suppotr a judge might order for your child. In fact, Once you have the papers proving paternity by DNA you can take that to the Social security office and apply for the dependent's benefits before a judge orders child support and you may be entitled to retroactive benefits, all before a judge rules on paternity, custody, child support or visitation. If and or when the putative father petitions the court for custody, visitation, you will be able to present your facts to the judge, some of those facts would be the history of domestic abuse and restraining orders, drug use, the recent acts of vandelism which you have of course reported, statements by witnesses of his threats and any other evidence you might have.
You really need toobtain competent counsel for yourself, an attorney who practices family law and has some knowledge re social security benefits so that you and your child's best interest is protected and his threats will remain just that, threats. Until a judge rules, both of you have no obligation to the other re the child. Please understand that, when you question his fitness, yours will be questioned as well.
In your original post you said that you did NOT have sole custody, but you didn't say why, whether a court had ruled or whether that was a misunderstanding of custody prior to establishing paernity?
Please asnwer the questions here and do not send more PM's this issues is best discussed here on the open forum.
