pendente lite support guestimates?

[tuffbrk]

What is the name of your state? NJ

Have filed for divorce. Spouse filing for pendente lite support - he stopped working as soon as advised that I was filing and in the interim, became ill, found out he has end stage liver disease and is on the liver transplant list - is not eligible for SSD, has been declined for SSI - which presumably he's going to apply for the 3rd time, has been rated 0% disabled by VA.... Attorney says most likely I will need to pay...question is - if I pay all household expenses in which he resides with me, full support of my sons, any guestimate on how much I would have to pay? My "disposable" income after expenses, as documented on my CIS for court, is $350 per month. I'm really distracted and the court date has been postponed twice (he is responding to my cross for pendente lite in which I provided documentation that although he represented in his application that he hasn't worked, that he in fact did although I could not and cannot document all work that he did under the table.)

Ohiogal did provide me with some initial insight...just wondering if disabled label he is applying to himself would be viewed by courts as "temporary" until such time as transplant is rec'd and full recovery is made? Just at a total loss...

 

[Ohiogal]

He could be considered temporarily disabled. Alimony could be a temporary thing and it could be for a minimal amount. But it depends how the courts look at your disposable income. Paying for son's college is not going to be seen necessarily as a necessity.

 

[tuffbrk]

Yes - paying for college does seem to be no-no to many respondents on this site.

It strikes me as odd that a full grown adult who abandoned all fiscal responsibility for himself and his family would be given higher priority by a court than what they would accord our son.

I can somewhat empathize with Bali as at no time during this marriage did either of us expect to support the other - I paid certain bills and he paid certain bills. He kept all of his money separate and I had zero access and zero input as to how it was used. Yet I give him 5 months to accomplish 5 things or I'm filing - then when I say I'm filing - he refuses to contribute, my crappy attn'y didn't file for CS or $ towards roof expenses - eventually I fire him, retain another - and then the soon to be X gets diagnosed...luck of the draw I guess. At least my bad luck is financially related, vs health related. More annoyed that he had been working so hard "pretending" to be suicidal (after showering, putting on cologne and dressing up he went to the hospital claiming he was going to kill himself!) and trying to come up with any excuse as to why he wouldn't contribute to the support of his kids or any utilities or funds towards the mortgage after having been the primary breadwinner for years.

So - for anyone out there trying to work a "con" - be careful of karma! This stupid soon to be X worked really, really hard for close to a year trying to build up an "I'm mentally incapacitated & can't work' case that he could use to get alimony from me so that I would - in his words "pay, pay and keep on paying." Now he's on a transplant list...

 

[Bali Hai]

Yes - paying for college does seem to be no-no to many respondents on this site.

It strikes me as odd that a full grown adult who abandoned all fiscal responsibility for himself and his family would be given higher priority by a court than what they would accord our son.

I can somewhat empathize with Bali as at no time during this marriage did either of us expect to support the other - I paid certain bills and he paid certain bills. He kept all of his money separate and I had zero access and zero input as to how it was used. Yet I give him 5 months to accomplish 5 things or I'm filing - then when I say I'm filing - he refuses to contribute, my crappy attn'y didn't file for CS or $ towards roof expenses - eventually I fire him, retain another - and then the soon to be X gets diagnosed...luck of the draw I guess. At least my bad luck is financially related, vs health related. More annoyed that he had been working so hard "pretending" to be suicidal (after showering, putting on cologne and dressing up he went to the hospital claiming he was going to kill himself!) and trying to come up with any excuse as to why he wouldn't contribute to the support of his kids or any utilities or funds towards the mortgage after having been the primary breadwinner for years.

So - for anyone out there trying to work a "con" - be careful of karma! This stupid soon to be X worked really, really hard for close to a year trying to build up an "I'm mentally incapacitated & can't work' case that he could use to get alimony from me so that I would - in his words "pay, pay and keep on paying." Now he's on a transplant list...

The laws have gotta change and juat all there is to it.