Please Help!!

[sharon_grounds]

my husband and I are from WV but are now living in South Carolina because he is in the U.S.M.C. He has a 1 year old son by another woman that both live in WV and is currently paying 422.00/mo in child support. I recently found out that I am pregnant with our first child together. Will his support payments be reduced because he will soon have another dependant to support, does this apply to WV or SC laws because the new baby will be born here in SC? Please Help!!! Thank you

Sharon Grounds

 

[hexeliebe]

Will his support payments be reduced because he will soon have another dependant to support,

No.

does this apply to WV or SC laws because the new baby will be born here in SC?

West Virginia. That's where the support order was issued.

 

[carofl93]

This post will probably make me seem like a real biatch, but why should your husband's other child suffer just because you happen to be having a child? My husband is military as well, and I never would have dreamed of asking the courts to lower his child support payments (well over $900 monthly) when I was pregnant. Kids aren't cheap, believe me. That $422 a month is not really that much money, and it is your husband's duty to pay it. We struggled through paying all that money, and we're still alive to tell the tale. If you are legally married, all of your medical needs are covered by the military. Why do you want to take food out of another child's mouth?! Suppose you are put into that situation some day....would you like it?

 

[HomeGuru]

This post will probably make me seem like a real biatch, but why should your husband's other child suffer just because you happen to be having a child? My husband is military as well, and I never would have dreamed of asking the courts to lower his child support payments (well over $900 monthly) when I was pregnant. Kids aren't cheap, believe me. That $422 a month is not really that much money, and it is your husband's duty to pay it. We struggled through paying all that money, and we're still alive to tell the tale. If you are legally married, all of your medical needs are covered by the military. Why do you want to take food out of another child's mouth?! Suppose you are put into that situation some day....would you like it?

**A: yes, a real son of a biatch.

 

[sharon_grounds]

please help

I would never think of taking anything away from his son, believe me, thats not the kind of person I am. But seeing that we could barely get by month to month on his pay before the child support started makes ot even harder. The mother agreed that she only needed 200.00 a month and she would give the difference back to him. She has a full time job and the baby is well taken of. I have a 15 month old daughter that I have to take care of also and every penny that we can get, we will need. All I was asking was if the amount could be decreased seeing that the mother herself even said that the son didnt even need that much money.

 

[meganandgino]

I understand where you are coming from. My husband has a child from a previous relationship. He pays his support, and even overpaid by $1,073 last year. The mother never wanted child support, and didn't want his name on the birth certificate. He made sure that he got a court order so that she could not ask for arrears 11 years later.

We have a 1 yr. old daughter and I have been staying at home with her. We both feel it is important that I raise her, but I may have to go back to work to help pay our bills since the mother is now asking the court for over $800/month in support plus health care coverage, 1/2 of her out of pocket medical expenses, contributions to a college fund, and tuition to a private school.

What bothers me is that the mother's new husband makes 6X more than my husband does, but his income is not figured into the child support calculation. The court says that he has no legal obligation to support his wife's child. I think he has a SOCIAL obligation to support her, and therefore his income should be counted. My husband works a lot of hours so he can support us, but this is counting against him. He is our only income, and we almost spend more than he makes as it is.

To make things worse, if I go back to work full time there is a 2 year waiting list for local child care. Even if I could find child care for my daughter, we would still not be able to afford the increase.

I am frustrated, and do not appreciate all of the attacks I have received in this forum. Why should she be granted a college fund, when my duaghter doesn't have one?

 

[carofl93]

We have our son together, plus my stepdaughter and are getting nothing in the way of help from her mother. And mr catatonic state...if you'll notice, I am a WOMAN. Some people should be fixed at birth so they cant have kids. It doesnt matter if your hubby's ex says she needs the money or not. He did the deed. He donated the sperm to make that child and he should pay.

 

[jez51]

my husband and I are from WV but are now living in South Carolina because he is in the U.S.M.C. He has a 1 year old son by another woman that both live in WV and is currently paying 422.00/mo in child support. I recently found out that I am pregnant with our first child together. Will his support payments be reduced because he will soon have another dependant to support, does this apply to WV or SC laws because the new baby will be born here in SC? Please Help!!! Thank you

Sharon Grounds

His CS case is in WV so that is where he would have to go to ask for changes, CS is based on a per centage and other children are taken into consideration, after all he is obligated to support
ALL OF HIS CHILDREN. Military pay has always sucked, nobody I know has ever gotten rich from it, in fact most military families have to go on food stamps. Just keep in mind, that his other child deserves as much(not more, not less)than your child.

 

[meganandgino]

We have our son together, plus my stepdaughter and are getting nothing in the way of help from her mother. And mr catatonic state...if you'll notice, I am a WOMAN. Some people should be fixed at birth so they cant have kids. It doesnt matter if your hubby's ex says she needs the money or not. He did the deed. He donated the sperm to make that child and he should pay.

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?????

 

[haiku]

In most states you cannot ask for a DECREASE based on your decision to have another child when you were already financially strapped.

your husbands verbal agreement with his ex, is worth about as much in court as the paper it was not written on.

it MAY be possible to get her to agree to a decrease in court, and get the court to agree to it.

(my husband and his ex successfully did this in thier state years ago, but it was because my husband was unable to make the substantial amount of money he was making at the time of divorce to due to his health and the economy of his business)

But normally he would have to prove an income decrease, of at least 10%, NOT having more children. So it is not likely he would get anywhere in court, on that reason alone.

now IF your husbands ex were to petition the court for an INCREASE in support, you could then use your child with him as a reason to not increase support or at least get a percentage credit for her being in his home.

blended families HAVE to become comfortable with thier financial situation BEFORE bringing anymore children into the mix. Fair? maybe, maybe not. But, it is the reality.

 

[haiku]

I understand where you are coming from. My husband has a child from a previous relationship. He pays his support, and even overpaid by $1,073 last year. The mother never wanted child support, and didn't want his name on the birth certificate. He made sure that he got a court order so that she could not ask for arrears 11 years later.

We have a 1 yr. old daughter and I have been staying at home with her. We both feel it is important that I raise her, but I may have to go back to work to help pay our bills since the mother is now asking the court for over $800/month in support plus health care coverage, 1/2 of her out of pocket medical expenses, contributions to a college fund, and tuition to a private school.

***what percentage of income should he be paying per your state? Have you asked that your child be included as a percentage minused from his income? The health care is standard. DON'T agree to anything about schooling. the most being "both parties agree to apply for all grants and loans available to them. And that the parents and child will all contribute to the left over expenses as thier financial situation at the time sees fit. just as any other INTACT family would decide***

What bothers me is that the mother's new husband makes 6X more than my husband does, but his income is not figured into the child support calculation. The court says that he has no legal obligation to support his wife's child. I think he has a SOCIAL obligation to support her, and therefore his income should be counted. My husband works a lot of hours so he can support us, but this is counting against him. He is our only income, and we almost spend more than he makes as it is.

***are you willing to live up to your "social obligation" to support your step? (I have NO obligation social or otherwise as far as I am concerned. my financial obligation is to my child ONLY) This guy should not be punished just because he makes a lot of money. Kudo's to the ex for remarrying well, but he could walk out tommorrow leaving her and the kids without his 6 figure salary. And it still does not erase dads financial responsibility to his own kids.

I know full well what it is like to be a SAHM in a second marriage and we have done pretty well at it. now that our kid is in school I work during school hours. Staying home IS about financial sacrifice for those years you do, do it. Supporting 2 houses makes it doubly so. ***

To make things worse, if I go back to work full time there is a 2 year waiting list for local child care. Even if I could find child care for my daughter, we would still not be able to afford the increase.

***You know, if you were to divorce tommorrow, husband lost his job, or god forbid something else happened, what would you do? Every day women do what they have to do, 2 year waiting lists or not. We "second" wives do not have the "luxuries" (no child support)the "first" wives did.***

I am frustrated, and do not appreciate all of the attacks I have received in this forum. Why should she be granted a college fund, when my duaghter doesn't have one?
***I am in total agreement on the college fund.***

 

[jez51]

blended families HAVE to become comfortable with thier financial situation BEFORE bringing anymore children into the mix. Fair? maybe, maybe not. But, it is the reality.

This is so true, after divorce women can go on with their lives, men can't.......

 

[haiku]

This is so true, after divorce women can go on with their lives, men can't.......

please don't misquote me. I meant men AND women with blended families. Just as a support paying family must deal with that reality, so must a support receiving family. A receiving family should be held to the same budgeting rules as a paying one, in my book.

A man has just as much ability to move on as the woman does. there are many more factors involved as to whether or not the woman or the "new" spouse of the man get to be stay at home parents.

 

[nextwife]

I DO think it's a crock that the court can order divorced (or never married) people to pay for private school tuition or college when kids of married couples do not have that. It's outrageous that a parent is not entitled to decide themselves, once divorced, about things they may be philosophically opposed to.

Both DH and I had parents that believed that WE had the biggest responsibility to work (or find grants or scholarships) to pay for our OWN college educations. And we did so, so did my sibs. And we both went to public school and send our child to public school (granted, in a great district that we give up a lot of other things to live in). But if I divorced, suddenly he could be forced, by C.O., to pay for private school? That stuff I really have a problem with. If our kids in intact families are not "entitled" to it, any other kids should not have a greater entitlement for it.

 

[theother]

Re: please help

I would never think of taking anything away from his son, believe me, thats not the kind of person I am. But seeing that we could barely get by month to month on his pay before the child support started makes ot even harder. The mother agreed that she only needed 200.00 a month and she would give the difference back to him. She has a full time job and the baby is well taken of. I have a 15 month old daughter that I have to take care of also and every penny that we can get, we will need. All I was asking was if the amount could be decreased seeing that the mother herself even said that the son didnt even need that much money.

You guys are trying to get by on his pay alone? Do you work? Do you get CS for your daughter? If you don't get CS, you really should look into getting it or enforcing it if that is the problem. Your daughter's father should be paying his share. While the new child argument can be debated, it's not really fair to take money away from your new hubby's son so that he can afford to support you and your daughter. $200 a month is nothing, but hey, if you can get her to agree to that it in court, then that's on her. I wouldn't hold my breath though.