Please help

[Shabear]

I have a 15 year old neice that is living with her adopted father(she thinks he is the bio father but he isnt). Her mother (my sister) is a druggy, alchoholic and in a very abusive relationship and has given up all parental rights years ago.

I am 25, married for 3 1/2 years and a SAHM to 2 young children (ages 2 and 7mths). I love my neice dearly and have done everything I can since she was born to give her a woman to look up to and help her and her dad out.


We used to all live in the same town and she was able to spend most of her time with me. Im the one who went to her teachers, her school parties, everything...then my husband got a job about 2.5 hours away and we moved. We are in Oklahoma. Her and her dad started having major problems. He is a single father and doesnt know what he is doing. The night I had my first child my grandmother called me and said that he had kicked her out of the house. So she stayed with an uncle until school was over and came to stay up here until we could work something out. I talked to him and he promised to go through counceling with her to work out thier problems. So I sent her back....trying to take care of all of this while having a newborn. Things went well for a while but I would get desprate phone calls when she was mad or angry with him. I know that he has hit her once. He does very strange things like expecting her to do all of the cooking and cleaning and washing ect....He will wake her up in the mornings and tell her to get up to make him breakfast. If she doesnt get the house cleaned like he wants it he will take all the phones away and hide them. He has told her he hates her, he wont come to her wedding and walk her down the aisle.... There are many more examples but I think you get the jist.

Now I am in no way saying that my nice is perfect. She isnt and she has just as much of a temper. But about 2 mths ago she almost tried to committ suicide and guess what STILL NO COUNCELING. I am brought into the middle of this every time and I am tired of trying to refferee them and he is not getting anything done. I feel like it is time for my husband and I to step in and remove her from this situation. I am afraid that something is going to happen to her and I will have done nothing. Please help me. I am only 25 but I have a very stable environment and live a good life. I dont even know where to bigin on this. ANY ADIVCE WILL BE WELCOMED. Thank you so much!

Shabear

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Unless Child Protective Services gets involved, and then they refer any matters to the District Attorney's Office for action in court, there's nothing you can do to obtain custody.

And, even if CPS did get involved, it's unlikely that the court would take your niece away from her father with the circumstances as you describe.

More than likely, the court would order an ongoing familial review and counseling for both of them.

Involuntary terminatation of parental rights almost requires an act of Congress, with circumstances far worse than you describe.

IAAL

 

[labtech68]

i agree....usually it takes a 911 call after an incident with the father especially if he hits her....and DHS gets involved that anything will happen....how does the father feel when she stays with you? Would he ever threaten you? I hope things work out and if you are worried about the counseling, you could set that up for..most states offer free counseling for low income and especially if suicide was involved, you did not say what or if she was hospitalized for it...