Please reply. I'm heartbroken and desperate
What is the name of your state? TN
This morning custody of my two children, 12 and 9, was given to my ex husband. They have been with me for the most part of the last three years during the school week and with their father on weekends. My children are honor roll and Principal's list kids, very involved in church and sports, and are good kids. I am a school teacher, choir singin, children's ministry mom. I have a nice house on a cul de sac with a big yard, and have obviously done a good job with the kids.
My ex has gone into court over and over the last three years and told lies, many of which haven't been brought to light. Enough of them have been brought to light that the judge should have known he was a liar. I started out this divorce with a luny attorney (literally) who turned out to be on drugs and alcohol. I fired him after two years of negligence, filed a complaint. He is now disbarred. I hired another attorney who vanished for several months, wouldn't return phone calls, and neglected to file paperwork by various deadlines, and didn't file contempt charges when I asked him to several times. Many lies were left hanging out there, because they were never brought to light. Each time we have gone into court I have heard the judge make comments that clearly showed he believed various things to be true that aren't true. Some serious.
We went to court Tuesday two weeks ago. The kids testified that they wanted to live with their Father. He didn't give us a decision that day. Wednesday, when I went through my son's agenda from school I found a page stapled into it that had stamps on it saying things like "no homework, parent signature required". He had been keeping another agenda, and this page had only been stapled in because his teacher had to see it. He had signed my name. So, as I was talking to my son about what in the world he was doing, he said, Mom, that's why I wanted to live with Dad. I said, just because of this agenda? He said no, school is too hard, I can't get organized. My son has ADHD and has very effective medication for it. I asked if he'd been taking it, and he said no, his father told him to flush it down the toilet. I said, so you don't really want to live with your father? and he said no. I said are you going to tell the judge that and he said yes, he wanted to. My nine year old daughter had told the judge that she wanted to live with her father so that she wouldn't have to be without her brother.
Today we went to court on a motion to reopen evidence because of newly found information. My son even wrote a letter to the judge asking him to let him come back and tell the truth, but the judge never saw the letter. The judge said that he wouldn't reopen, that the kids were believable the first time, and that I had obviously pressured them at home, and talked about court information that I wasn't supposed to. But I didn't, this just came up by chance. I did nothing I wasn't supposed to do.
The judge allowed us to go three years without child support, leaving me on a tight budget all the time, while the dad is buying them laptops and cell phones and play station twos. The court file is a complete procedural mess.
The dad travels for a living, he's in sales, and has only had the kids on the weekends. He makes twice the money I do and has his gas, vehicle, vehicle insurance, food and living expenses paid for by his company. Yet the judge never ordered child support for us. Now he has given custody to my ex, and is ordering me to pay child support. I can't keep my house and pay child support too.
We had a history of domestic violence in our family and alcoholism. I no longer drink, haven't in three years, but ex husband is still gluten. Another judge ordered him to alcohol rehab for six months which the ex didn't go to, but lied in court and said he had gone to. He later admitted that he hadn't gone to it, but this judge doesn't seem to care. He has also had DUIs. He inexplicably gets away with whatever nutty thing he does.
The exs attorney is a judge in Nashville, and so is his father and brother. The kids said that they were all pals with our judge and that their Dad said I couldn't win because of that anyway, and now here we are.
I don't believe that we have been treated fairly by the court system. I want to appeal, but we had no court reporter, so no record of the proceedings. There is so much more to this, but this is probably enough to get the point across. I promise that I am a model mom. I love my children. They are my life, and now they've been ripped away. The ex is moving them two and a half hours away to one of the worst school systems in Tennessee, where he will live with his mother. He currently lives here in town. The judge seems to think this is fine, but my children aren't going to be allowed a relationship with me. I thought you had to do something wrong for this kind of thing to happen. There are plenty of lies from last Tuesday that could be addressed and I have documented proof.
Please give advice. I don't know what to do.
What is the name of your state? TN
This morning custody of my two children, 12 and 9, was given to my ex husband. They have been with me for the most part of the last three years during the school week and with their father on weekends. My children are honor roll and Principal's list kids, very involved in church and sports, and are good kids. I am a school teacher, choir singin, children's ministry mom. I have a nice house on a cul de sac with a big yard, and have obviously done a good job with the kids.
My ex has gone into court over and over the last three years and told lies, many of which haven't been brought to light. Enough of them have been brought to light that the judge should have known he was a liar. I started out this divorce with a luny attorney (literally) who turned out to be on drugs and alcohol. I fired him after two years of negligence, filed a complaint. He is now disbarred. I hired another attorney who vanished for several months, wouldn't return phone calls, and neglected to file paperwork by various deadlines, and didn't file contempt charges when I asked him to several times. Many lies were left hanging out there, because they were never brought to light. Each time we have gone into court I have heard the judge make comments that clearly showed he believed various things to be true that aren't true. Some serious.
We went to court Tuesday two weeks ago. The kids testified that they wanted to live with their Father. He didn't give us a decision that day. Wednesday, when I went through my son's agenda from school I found a page stapled into it that had stamps on it saying things like "no homework, parent signature required". He had been keeping another agenda, and this page had only been stapled in because his teacher had to see it. He had signed my name. So, as I was talking to my son about what in the world he was doing, he said, Mom, that's why I wanted to live with Dad. I said, just because of this agenda? He said no, school is too hard, I can't get organized. My son has ADHD and has very effective medication for it. I asked if he'd been taking it, and he said no, his father told him to flush it down the toilet. I said, so you don't really want to live with your father? and he said no. I said are you going to tell the judge that and he said yes, he wanted to. My nine year old daughter had told the judge that she wanted to live with her father so that she wouldn't have to be without her brother.
Today we went to court on a motion to reopen evidence because of newly found information. My son even wrote a letter to the judge asking him to let him come back and tell the truth, but the judge never saw the letter. The judge said that he wouldn't reopen, that the kids were believable the first time, and that I had obviously pressured them at home, and talked about court information that I wasn't supposed to. But I didn't, this just came up by chance. I did nothing I wasn't supposed to do.
The judge allowed us to go three years without child support, leaving me on a tight budget all the time, while the dad is buying them laptops and cell phones and play station twos. The court file is a complete procedural mess.
The dad travels for a living, he's in sales, and has only had the kids on the weekends. He makes twice the money I do and has his gas, vehicle, vehicle insurance, food and living expenses paid for by his company. Yet the judge never ordered child support for us. Now he has given custody to my ex, and is ordering me to pay child support. I can't keep my house and pay child support too.
We had a history of domestic violence in our family and alcoholism. I no longer drink, haven't in three years, but ex husband is still gluten. Another judge ordered him to alcohol rehab for six months which the ex didn't go to, but lied in court and said he had gone to. He later admitted that he hadn't gone to it, but this judge doesn't seem to care. He has also had DUIs. He inexplicably gets away with whatever nutty thing he does.
The exs attorney is a judge in Nashville, and so is his father and brother. The kids said that they were all pals with our judge and that their Dad said I couldn't win because of that anyway, and now here we are.
I don't believe that we have been treated fairly by the court system. I want to appeal, but we had no court reporter, so no record of the proceedings. There is so much more to this, but this is probably enough to get the point across. I promise that I am a model mom. I love my children. They are my life, and now they've been ripped away. The ex is moving them two and a half hours away to one of the worst school systems in Tennessee, where he will live with his mother. He currently lives here in town. The judge seems to think this is fine, but my children aren't going to be allowed a relationship with me. I thought you had to do something wrong for this kind of thing to happen. There are plenty of lies from last Tuesday that could be addressed and I have documented proof.
Please give advice. I don't know what to do.
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