marylandwoman
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? I live in Maryland, but the post concerns my parents, who live in Virginia.
I posted earlier this summer regarding my mother's care of my father and possible elder abuse. I arranged for Elderlink (through the county office on aging) to conduct an assessment for home care and safety issues. My mother agreed to have someone come bathe my father (after months of not bathing) and also have a ptherapist help strengthen his leg muscles so that he could walk using his walker. However, my mother ignored the recommendations regarding safety issues (p/t aide, transportation assistance for dr appt's, etc, bed height, area rugs, no phone or life alert for my father in bedroom, etc...) and continues to do so. She won't take him for a haircut or have his nails or toenails looked after. My husband and I do that for him when we visit.
I visit every 3 weeks or so and I found out on our last visit that my Dad may have had a small stroke and my mother did NOTHING about it! She wouldn't have mentioned it over the phone unless I had talked to my Dad and noticed the difference. His speech is slurred, his thought process is slower and he has difficulty signing his name now.
The Elderlink aide cycle has ended and the therapist said her work was not helping. My mother claims she has arranged for the bather to continue to come 2x week. But with each visit, my dad has said how my mother's verbal abuse of him has gotten worse. Between July and mid-October, while in my mother's care, my father has fallen approx 5-7 times. He is 90 and has little strength in his legs. Now he is confined to a wheelchair and his bed.
I have Durable POA and have arranged for a life alert system (as he has no phone in his bdrm, where he spends 70% of his time) as well as a hospital bed with guardrails and controls to electronically boost his feet and or head to help him get up. I also wish to have an aide in the house to help my mother and ensure that no further neglect/abuse continues.
This started in June/July and I am so disgusted I am on the verge of contacting the Adult Protective Services in their county for their help. I hate to do it, but part of my responsibility as POA and daughter is to help my Dad with his final wishes - to age and die at home as comfortably as possible.
Am I on the right track? Should I also make a deposition of chronological events to a local attorney who has experience with elder law?
Many thanks!
I posted earlier this summer regarding my mother's care of my father and possible elder abuse. I arranged for Elderlink (through the county office on aging) to conduct an assessment for home care and safety issues. My mother agreed to have someone come bathe my father (after months of not bathing) and also have a ptherapist help strengthen his leg muscles so that he could walk using his walker. However, my mother ignored the recommendations regarding safety issues (p/t aide, transportation assistance for dr appt's, etc, bed height, area rugs, no phone or life alert for my father in bedroom, etc...) and continues to do so. She won't take him for a haircut or have his nails or toenails looked after. My husband and I do that for him when we visit.
I visit every 3 weeks or so and I found out on our last visit that my Dad may have had a small stroke and my mother did NOTHING about it! She wouldn't have mentioned it over the phone unless I had talked to my Dad and noticed the difference. His speech is slurred, his thought process is slower and he has difficulty signing his name now.
The Elderlink aide cycle has ended and the therapist said her work was not helping. My mother claims she has arranged for the bather to continue to come 2x week. But with each visit, my dad has said how my mother's verbal abuse of him has gotten worse. Between July and mid-October, while in my mother's care, my father has fallen approx 5-7 times. He is 90 and has little strength in his legs. Now he is confined to a wheelchair and his bed.
I have Durable POA and have arranged for a life alert system (as he has no phone in his bdrm, where he spends 70% of his time) as well as a hospital bed with guardrails and controls to electronically boost his feet and or head to help him get up. I also wish to have an aide in the house to help my mother and ensure that no further neglect/abuse continues.
This started in June/July and I am so disgusted I am on the verge of contacting the Adult Protective Services in their county for their help. I hate to do it, but part of my responsibility as POA and daughter is to help my Dad with his final wishes - to age and die at home as comfortably as possible.
Am I on the right track? Should I also make a deposition of chronological events to a local attorney who has experience with elder law?
Many thanks!
