Postnuptual

[7zcata]

What is the name of your state? Mississippi

I've been married for 7 years. My wife has had several affairs and we are weighing options. I have solid evidence of the affairs. We have one child, she has one child from a previous marriage, to whom I am his stepfather.

If we divorce, I want full custody of our son. I know I have no chance of getting custody of my stepson, but I think we can work out visitation.

We are about to start counselling. I truly want to repair the marriage and reconcile. However, I'm afraid that if we do so, then one or two years down the line she'll change her mind and divorce me anyway, and try to keep both children. I think I have a greater chance to gain custody of our son today because I have a large volume of evidence that if used in court would place her in a very negative light. If I try to use this in several years, when all is 'forgiven' then I'm afraid I will have lost the strength of my case.

What is the thinking on postnuptual agreements? Can/should I go through counselling, while insisting on a postnuptual? The only thing I really care about in such an agreement is the custody of our son.What is the name of your state?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Mississippi

I've been married for 7 years. My wife has had several affairs and we are weighing options. I have solid evidence of the affairs. We have one child, she has one child from a previous marriage, to whom I am his stepfather.

If we divorce, I want full custody of our son. I know I have no chance of getting custody of my stepson, but I think we can work out visitation.

We are about to start counselling. I truly want to repair the marriage and reconcile. However, I'm afraid that if we do so, then one or two years down the line she'll change her mind and divorce me anyway, and try to keep both children. I think I have a greater chance to gain custody of our son today because I have a large volume of evidence that if used in court would place her in a very negative light. If I try to use this in several years, when all is 'forgiven' then I'm afraid I will have lost the strength of my case.

What is the thinking on postnuptual agreements? Can/should I go through counselling, while insisting on a postnuptual? The only thing I really care about in such an agreement is the custody of our son.What is the name of your state?

Here is the deal, adultery has no relationship to child custody. That's a myth. Custody is based on who has been the primary caretaker to the child...not financially, but emotionally and nurturingly. Also, who has spent the most time with the child matters as well.

Courts also do not like to separate siblings, and your son and his brother are siblings.

Therefore, I don't think that you lose any strategic position by trying counseling to see if your marriage can be repaired.

The final issue is the post nuptual agreement idea. I don't think that you could write a post nuptual regarding custody and have it stand. Custody decisions re made based on what is best for the child, at the time.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? Mississippi

I've been married for 7 years. My wife has had several affairs and we are weighing options.

In my mind, the ONLY option is to get rid or her.

I have solid evidence of the affairs. We have one child, she has one child from a previous marriage, to whom I am his stepfather.

If we divorce, I want full custody of our son.

Won't happen unless you can prove her unfit and a danger to the child.

I know I have no chance of getting custody of my stepson, but I think we can work out visitation.

We are about to start counselling. I truly want to repair the marriage and reconcile.

Well, that's where YOU are screwing YOURSELF. The court won't prevent you from doing that.

However, I'm afraid that if we do so, then one or two years down the line she'll change her mind and divorce me anyway, and try to keep both children.

So you don't trust her. I don't blame you. Proceed accordingly.

I think I have a greater chance to gain custody of our son today because I have a large volume of evidence that if used in court would place her in a very negative light. If I try to use this in several years, when all is 'forgiven' then I'm afraid I will have lost the strength of my case.

What is the thinking on postnuptual agreements? Can/should I go through counselling, while insisting on a postnuptual? The only thing I really care about in such an agreement is the custody of our son.What is the name of your state?

Sh!t-can her ass NOW!!! Or you'll be sorry!!

 

[Ohiogal]

The only post nuptial agreement that matters is the one signed by a judge in decree of either divorce or legal separation.

 

[LdiJ]

Please, please, please before taking any advice here get a consult with several local attorneys.

No one should ever listen to Bali and even Ohiogal's advice was disappointing in this case. Not because it wasn't correct, but because you probably wouldn't have understood it.