Prescribed Medicine

[funnybabyboy200]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

My son came from Dad's house today, and for the 3rd time in 3 months Dad didn't give him his prescribed medicine. The first 2 times were oral antibiotics, this time it was eye ointment for pink eye. I am certain that he didn't give him the antibiotics because there were 3 doses remaining when I sent him to Dad's, and all 3 remained when he returned him. The second time he had only taken a few doses before going to Dad's, and I checked the level upon sending & getting my son back. This time I sent the second unopened tube of ointment and it came back unopened. I called Grandma and asked her how many doses he had received that day, and she called me back and told me that my ex gave him a dose that morning. Clearly not true, but I didn't argue. What's the point?

Yes, I gave the medicine, instructions, pharmacy information provided that came with the instructions. Yes, I sent emails to Grandma about the medicines, and I included them in the journal I keep in the diaper bag for Dad to read. Yes, I told Grandmom about the journal for Dad to read.

My son has been sick for months. I am not saying that it's Dad's fault, but not giving him medicine isn't exactly helping. Dad is busily photographing every scratch & bump my son has, tracking my every movement outside of my house, including when I'm working. My son has scratches because he has extremely dry itchy skin, and he's constantly clawing himself trying to scratch, and I'm trying everything to stop it. I moisturize him, I clip his nails, I don't know what else to do. I provided Dad with containers & tubes of Aquaphor, Cetaphil lotion & cleanser. I'm working with the pediatrician and pharmacists recommendations on everything.

He's taking Zyrtec for another week, and then he's going to get some more testing. Dad is kept up to speed on everything through Grandma emails, and the journal. I'm sure my journal is being photocopied weekly, and Dad never writes anything in it. It's in no way a letter to him, I am very careful to be completely clinical and refer to myself in the third person. There is still a PFA between us.

I feel like Dad is bound and determined to try and drive me insane. I have a job that requires me to deal with a lot of pressure, and I am so glad that I have had all that practice, because this would crack me, otherwise.

I feel like everything he's accusing me of; neglecting and abusing our son, is exactly what HE'S doing. One of the reasons I tried so hard to keep an amicable relationship with him is so that I had some visibility into his life, in order to PROTECT my son. Now I have no visibility and have to rely completely on faith that he loves him enough to not let anything horrible happen to him. Accidents happen. But how do you accidentally completely forget to give your child prescribed medicine EVERY time I haven't been able to remind you?? I always called before the PFA and reminded him. I don't think he is intentionally not giving it to him, I just think he's incredibly irresponsible. What do I do? My kid has been sick for months. Next week he's going to get blood tests to see if there is still infection. If so, he gets another round of (stronger) antibiotics. If that happens, what do I do to make sure he gets every single dose of it? Is there anything I can do?

I am so frustrated by the medicine issue, on top of everything else.

Should I stick a travel alarm clock in the diaper bag with the times he should get medicine programmed in? What else can I do?

I have never denied him access to my son. My goal isn't to remove him from my son's life, my goal is to protect my son. My kid deserves to get better. I know that not giving him my son for a week would be looked poorly upon by a judge, but it would give me the opportunity to get all the medicine into him. I don't want to do that, it'll just cause more animosity, but I have got to do something because just writing everything down isn't doing anything. Please answer.

 

[mistoffolees]

Look. You keep having the same problems over and over and getting the same advice over and over.

Frankly, missing a dose of pink eye medicine is not something that a judge is going to care about. Not in the least.

 

[LdiJ]

Look. You keep having the same problems over and over and getting the same advice over and over.

Frankly, missing a dose of pink eye medicine is not something that a judge is going to care about. Not in the least.

I think that will depend on whether or not the judge has ever had pink eye spread through his/her family. You may think missing a weekend's worth of pink eye medicine is trivia, but I sure don't. Do you have any idea how contagious that is and how painful it is?

 

[mistoffolees]

I think that will depend on whether or not the judge has ever had pink eye spread through his/her family. You may think missing a weekend's worth of pink eye medicine is trivia, but I sure don't. Do you have any idea how contagious that is and how painful it is?

Yes, I do.

Have you ever seen a judge change custody on the basis of someone forgetting to administer pink-eye medicine once?

I didn't think so.

 

[gam]

The medicine can still be given and the infection cleared with missing a dose.

How old is the child? Many children have infections after infections while young. No way to prove that the child is not getting rid of his infections cause dad misses doses on his weekends. Some have issues that a Dr can fix, others just continue until they get a bit older and build up their immune system. Not uncommon for many children to finish antibiotics and several days later be sick with something else and back on antibiotics.

Is the child coming home and having to see a Dr or being taken to the ER after a weekend with dad?

You need consistent problems going on after dads visits to get a Judge to do anything. And then most likely he will tell dad to follow the Dr orders. Dad may or may not. It's extremely hard to prove they are not giving meds or following Dr orders. It's extremely hard to prove that the child's constant infections are made worse by the other parent.

Is the child in daycare?

 

[CJane]

I think that will depend on whether or not the judge has ever had pink eye spread through his/her family. You may think missing a weekend's worth of pink eye medicine is trivia, but I sure don't. Do you have any idea how contagious that is and how painful it is?

A judge is NOT going to make a custody determination based on a few missed doses of medication. Not for things as minor as childhood infections, pink eye, things like that.

Even in INTACT families, with really good parents, doses are missed. I'm a grown-up who takes medication daily, and I sometimes forget a dose. It's not a big deal. And it's certainly not a game-changer.

Mom can choose, right now, whether this is something she's going to freak out about forever, or something she's going to just work her life around. There is NO problem with just picking up the dosages where Dad left off, and moving on with your life.

 

[gam]

A judge is NOT going to make a custody determination based on a few missed doses of medication. Not for things as minor as childhood infections, pink eye, things like that.

Even in INTACT families, with really good parents, doses are missed. I'm a grown-up who takes medication daily, and I sometimes forget a dose. It's not a big deal. And it's certainly not a game-changer.

Mom can choose, right now, whether this is something she's going to freak out about forever, or something she's going to just work her life around. There is NO problem with just picking up the dosages where Dad left off, and moving on with your life.

For OP the bolded can apply to many of her other issues with dad based on her posting hx. Mom and dad are in a power struggle. Mom's freaking over much, and her solution is to make dad do it the way mom sees fit. That is not going to get dad to do it, often gets the other party to do the right thing less.

Sometimes the less "big to do" one makes over issues, the less the other side chooses to do the wrong thing. Works better often to just hand the instructions from the Dr(daughter had the Dr copy the medical notes after each visit)and stop.

She is emailing grandma with the instructions, she is providing the instructions in a journal, she is telling grandma to make sure dad reads those instructions, she is emailing after visits asking how many doses they gave. What does she expect grandma to say, that dad didn't give the doses?

 

[Rushia]

Just another side note for the OP. Some doctors won't give medications for pink eye anymore. My Doctor doesn't give us meds for regular ole pink eye. Injury related (for example) is the only time they give it now. So, I don't see a judge going nuts over this either.