What is the name of your state? CT
The latest on my ongoing probate issues is: Lawyers/judge signed off on my accounting for my father inlaw(I am his conservatrix). My father inlaw quitclaimed his house to me about a yr an half ago. As some of you may remember, this was a big problem because of the fact that I am dad's conservator, therefore I was not to "financially gain" anything from being so. My husband nor I, nor my FIL, thought that we were doing something wrong. As you can imagine the judge was irate and after reading the responses here and looking into the law, I was able to realize why this was a "big deal". The problem the judge has with this now, is that I am not a blood relation to FIL. He is worried that if something happens to me or to my relationship with my husband, I will kick dad out etc.........the the other issue is that there are 2 sons, my husband and his brother. The brother has had no relationship with his father for over 7yrs. When dad was placed in nsg home by the VA and a lawyer, I went to probate(the lawyer was conservator)and I took over as cons. I also took dad out of nsg home and we moved from our town to dads house. Why he was put in home? I was only told that he went to his appt at the VA and his head had a bump and it was covered with dry blood. He told them that he fell after he was cutting a tree down in his yard. Probably true because he is always working in yard. So, they felt that he was not safe at home. He is and was in good health physically and mentally. He was alert and oriented during that time and as of right now still is, though I can see him becoming forgetful at times. Anyways, I called my husbands brother and told him what was going on with his dad and what our plans were. His response, "better you than me, good luck"...........that was it! He has not once called or stopped over to say, "how is my father?". No birthday/holiday cards/calls from him nor from any of his grandchildren. When his granddaughter got married, no invite, when she had her babies, no phone call or announcement. We all found out from others. I have 2 adult children who are now 20 and 26, who for the past 14 yrs have been grandchildren to my FIL and vice versa. We have many memories of our family together. Dad was there for my daughters 1st dance, school plays, graduations etc....Same with my son. I have tons of pictures of us celebrating dads birthdays/holidays etc....We have been his family and still are.
Problem?: The court wanted both sons to sign an agreement saying that they agree with their dads decision to give me the house and that they would waive any right to it. My husband signed it, but when his brother got the notice, he all of the sudden calls me and says, "I thought we were going to do everything 50/50" I didn't get into an arguement with him, though I told him that what about his share of upkeep of the house, taxes etc....he didn't say much. the notice told him of the next hearing and he asked me, Is my father going to be there?. I said, "ofcourse".......he stated that he was not looking forward to facing him. I left it at that. Anyways, 2 hearings later he hasn't shown for either one. Now, at this last hearing, the judge is going to suboena him for the next one on feb16th. the lawyers, I feel tried to get me to sign a note, saying something to the effect that if something happens to be the house goes to the brother, or that i could sign a note giving him half of the house. BULL!!!! I know that this is long and I am putting alot of my emotions in this post so I will try to cut through all of that. My question is, "how can a court make anybody give something to somebody"? My FIL, is still alive and he made it very clear at this last hearing, yelling, "i don't want that drunk to get anything!! I gave him thousands of dollars and helped him buy 2 houses" and he did.
My next question is: Don't it mean anything to the judge that this brother has not been involved for all these yrs? Why should he get anything? I may not be a blood relative but my FIL has filled in as a 2nd father to me since my dad died many yrs ago. I am the one who makes sure that he eats right, he is a diabetic. I give him his insulin shots and monitor his sugar. I go to all of his doctor appts. My husband/kids are the ones who go places with dad and spend time with him etc....Most important, we love him!!!! We are the ones who worry about him!!! Won't any of this mean anything?
Question: Where do we go next? Right now, we are waiting for the next months hearing. Any suggestions on what we should be doing if anything? I want to write a letter to the court stating most of what I have written, because when we are at these hearings we aren't given an opportunity to get into all of these things. Should I? My lawyer keeps saying, don't worry to her next suggestions of signing those notes. I told her and my FIL told her that we are not signing anything that would give this brother anything. Then she said," he probably won't show up anyways, so don't worry",,,,,easy to say....in the meantime, this is costing more and more money.
What do you think? Thank you for reading this long post.
JUDE
The latest on my ongoing probate issues is: Lawyers/judge signed off on my accounting for my father inlaw(I am his conservatrix). My father inlaw quitclaimed his house to me about a yr an half ago. As some of you may remember, this was a big problem because of the fact that I am dad's conservator, therefore I was not to "financially gain" anything from being so. My husband nor I, nor my FIL, thought that we were doing something wrong. As you can imagine the judge was irate and after reading the responses here and looking into the law, I was able to realize why this was a "big deal". The problem the judge has with this now, is that I am not a blood relation to FIL. He is worried that if something happens to me or to my relationship with my husband, I will kick dad out etc.........the the other issue is that there are 2 sons, my husband and his brother. The brother has had no relationship with his father for over 7yrs. When dad was placed in nsg home by the VA and a lawyer, I went to probate(the lawyer was conservator)and I took over as cons. I also took dad out of nsg home and we moved from our town to dads house. Why he was put in home? I was only told that he went to his appt at the VA and his head had a bump and it was covered with dry blood. He told them that he fell after he was cutting a tree down in his yard. Probably true because he is always working in yard. So, they felt that he was not safe at home. He is and was in good health physically and mentally. He was alert and oriented during that time and as of right now still is, though I can see him becoming forgetful at times. Anyways, I called my husbands brother and told him what was going on with his dad and what our plans were. His response, "better you than me, good luck"...........that was it! He has not once called or stopped over to say, "how is my father?". No birthday/holiday cards/calls from him nor from any of his grandchildren. When his granddaughter got married, no invite, when she had her babies, no phone call or announcement. We all found out from others. I have 2 adult children who are now 20 and 26, who for the past 14 yrs have been grandchildren to my FIL and vice versa. We have many memories of our family together. Dad was there for my daughters 1st dance, school plays, graduations etc....Same with my son. I have tons of pictures of us celebrating dads birthdays/holidays etc....We have been his family and still are.
Problem?: The court wanted both sons to sign an agreement saying that they agree with their dads decision to give me the house and that they would waive any right to it. My husband signed it, but when his brother got the notice, he all of the sudden calls me and says, "I thought we were going to do everything 50/50" I didn't get into an arguement with him, though I told him that what about his share of upkeep of the house, taxes etc....he didn't say much. the notice told him of the next hearing and he asked me, Is my father going to be there?. I said, "ofcourse".......he stated that he was not looking forward to facing him. I left it at that. Anyways, 2 hearings later he hasn't shown for either one. Now, at this last hearing, the judge is going to suboena him for the next one on feb16th. the lawyers, I feel tried to get me to sign a note, saying something to the effect that if something happens to be the house goes to the brother, or that i could sign a note giving him half of the house. BULL!!!! I know that this is long and I am putting alot of my emotions in this post so I will try to cut through all of that. My question is, "how can a court make anybody give something to somebody"? My FIL, is still alive and he made it very clear at this last hearing, yelling, "i don't want that drunk to get anything!! I gave him thousands of dollars and helped him buy 2 houses" and he did.
My next question is: Don't it mean anything to the judge that this brother has not been involved for all these yrs? Why should he get anything? I may not be a blood relative but my FIL has filled in as a 2nd father to me since my dad died many yrs ago. I am the one who makes sure that he eats right, he is a diabetic. I give him his insulin shots and monitor his sugar. I go to all of his doctor appts. My husband/kids are the ones who go places with dad and spend time with him etc....Most important, we love him!!!! We are the ones who worry about him!!! Won't any of this mean anything?
Question: Where do we go next? Right now, we are waiting for the next months hearing. Any suggestions on what we should be doing if anything? I want to write a letter to the court stating most of what I have written, because when we are at these hearings we aren't given an opportunity to get into all of these things. Should I? My lawyer keeps saying, don't worry to her next suggestions of signing those notes. I told her and my FIL told her that we are not signing anything that would give this brother anything. Then she said," he probably won't show up anyways, so don't worry",,,,,easy to say....in the meantime, this is costing more and more money.
What do you think? Thank you for reading this long post.
JUDE
I couldn't resist, you made me laugh at a serious matter. Thanks, I really love the reply.