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Procedure for stepparent adoption

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What is the name of your state? Either WA or FL would have jurisdiction.

My husband intends to adopt my two girls. I'd like to know how we might go about starting the process.

First, I've no idea which state has jurisdiction. The girls were both born in WA state and there is an order for child support for the elder of my girls in WA state - their father and I were married, lived and divorced in FL and the girls are considered residents of FL. (For the curious, the elder girl was six months old when we moved to FL and I married their father, thus the order for child support vs. the marriage and divorce jurisdiction. Paternity was established for the elder and the younger was born during the marriage. Both girls have their father on their birth certificates.) I recently moved back to my hometown in WA and the girls' father resides in WA... I think.

The girls' father quite literally walked away on Labor Day four years ago and never looked back. In the past four years he's never once had contact with the girls through any means and the only contact with me has been two emails and a message his mother passed along via my brother. There has never been a child support payment made nor a single visit. I assume he lives somewhere in the vicinity of my hometown as my family has seen him here from time to time. I've moved since the divorce but my email has been the same for six years and my phone number the same for three years. He knows how to contact my family; my father has lived in the same house for sixteen years and had the same published phone number for more than thirty years, both of which the girls' father knows how to find. Further, the girls' father dated a woman after the divorce and after they broke it off the woman began dating, of all people, my brother. He spoke with my brother on numerous occasions (that's how his mother knew to get in contact with my brother to pass along the message) and knew how to contact my brother. My hometown is not overly large - every person in the phone book with my maiden name is a relative and all of them know my phone number, most of them know my address. The girls and I could have been found in less than thirty minutes if he wanted to find us.

The girls were very young when their father walked away and my husband is the only father they remember. He considers them to be his children. We think it would be prudent to make it official. So... how does one do that? And in which state?
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
How do these children relate to the thread where dad is filing for a custody modification based on a variety of things and your husband is in the military? Something is not right with all of your stories. They don't add up and there are pieces missing. Either that or you are a student wanting help with homework.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
ChiliPalmer said:
In the past four years he's never once had contact with the girls through any means and the only contact with me has been two emails and a message his mother passed along via my brother. There has never been a child support payment made nor a single visit. I assume he lives somewhere in the vicinity of my hometown as my family has seen him here from time to time. <snip>

The girls were very young when their father walked away and my husband is the only father they remember.

Excellent point, OG. Because just last week OP posted:

ChiliPalmer said:
Children have spent most of the last two years with me; two years ago children with me during week and visited their father on weekends, last half of the school year children with father, as soon as school let out children came to me for one full calendar year. They were to visit their father for the summer and come back to me for the school year but on August 25 I was summoned from out of state for a custody modification hearing instead. <snip>

things the children supposedly told them this summer, <snip>

I made a visit to the school where they have enrolled the children.

All of which indicates that Dad has, in fact, seen the kids on a regular and ongoing basis. So which is it? None of us has time to waste on your games.
 
I made several replies to her other posts but this one is completely different than the other 2. What are you trying to pull? Just last week you said they saw there father regularly and you needed your husband to send you a letter because biofather was trying to change custody?? Are you trying to just jerk us around?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
stuckinlamad said:
I made several replies to her other posts but this one is completely different than the other 2. What are you trying to pull? Just last week you said they saw there father regularly and you needed your husband to send you a letter because biofather was trying to change custody?? Are you trying to just jerk us around?
The answer to that is yes would be my guess. Notice OP hasn't posted since I called her on it.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
I reas the other posts and there sure seem to be some big conflicts in "facts" which doesn't bode well for OP. The FA crystal Ball is turning the color of vomit. I think I will have to take it in for servicing.:rolleyes:
 
Ohiogal said:
The answer to that is yes would be my guess. Notice OP hasn't posted since I called her on it.
This at a whole whopping twelve hours since I posted the thread. Most message boards will note a poster's last activity, which would have told you that I hadn't been online in the twelve hours between starting the thread and your post here. Hardly as if I'm sneakily hanging about the boards refusing to answer a question.

You guys here must get more than your fair share of crackpots. No worries, it's a simple answer to a simple question. I have two ex husbands.
 
please keep your post together you did not mention the 2 ex husbands how many children in total which are the matter of the custody cases. If you had explained that your 2 of your kids have 1 father and 2 of your kids had a different one you would have gotten answers faster but we aren't mind readers and your posts are completely different. I am from a blended family. My step father adopted me and my older sister after he married my mom. Nobody would have held that against you but we only know what you post.

Please post a clarifying post so we can give you better answers. How many kids are involved in each of the custody cases? Do you have a child support order and paternity set for all the kids? If one of them isn't paying how much is the arears? Many deadbeat fathers will sign away parental rights for the forgiveness of a child support arrearage. We can't give you full and accurate answers if your posts are very different and there is no explaination.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
ChiliPalmer said:
No worries, it's a simple answer to a simple question. I have two ex husbands.

LOL I was gonna guess that would be your answer. :rolleyes:

In any event, don't expect any court to approve a stepparent adoption while there are allegations of abuse/neglect against you and stepDad.
 
please keep your post together you did not mention the 2 ex husbands how many children in total which are the matter of the custody cases. If you had explained that your 2 of your kids have 1 father and 2 of your kids had a different one you would have gotten answers faster but we aren't mind readers and your posts are completely different.
I've been reading past threads to get a feel for the preferred modus operandi. I saw it noted several times how posters don't like to see long novellas (IIRC, one response was that such long posts usually mean the thread starter only wants yes-men, so people skip them in favor of someone who might actually listen). The impression I got was that people wanted to see short posts with just the immediately relevant facts. I rather figured that throwing in, "By the by, here's the details on the first ex - who doesn't happen to have anything to do with this whatsoever... just thought y'all might like to know..." would only earn me a lecture on not throwing around extraneous information for others to sift through. Eh, not a biggie. And this question here wasn't pressing, I saw the thread on terminating rights in Florida and recalled that I'd never checked on that myself. So I thought, hey, long as I'm here asking questions already this would be a good time to see if someone knew the answers.

How many kids are involved in each of the custody cases? Do you have a child support order and paternity set for all the kids? If one of them isn't paying how much is the arears?
Two custody cases, one for each ex and both involving two children. First ex - joint custody, boy and girl, recently hit the first actual dispute (thus why I found this place). Second ex - full custody to me, two girls, no contact since before the divorce finalised. (Except that message from his mother. That was a year ago.) Only the first case is actually in court (active, I suppose one might say?), the second has been a moot point since it was signed.

Paternity set for everyone; these were husbands, after all. First ex - no support going to anyone, it is a joint custody case and we're both considered custodial parents as far as I understand. Second ex - child support assigned for the eldest girl, never paid, no child support order pursued during the divorce for the younger daughter. (Was told at the time that a default divorce - served through newspapers because we didn't know where he was - didn't offer the option of a support order so decided to skip it and just get the divorce.) Arrears for the one order are ballpark $10k, I don't have the exact figure because it's not personally a huge concern.

That brings something to mind. I still don't know where he is. Is it always a requirement to have the NCP in court during these things or is a situation such as this worked in the same manner I got the divorce - publishing in the paper for weeks at his last known location? If his physical presence is required in court then I'll have to make plans for paying an investigator to dig up current contact information and location.

In any event, don't expect any court to approve a stepparent adoption while there are allegations of abuse/neglect against you and stepDad.
Running two cases at once would be a bit much, I'm not a masochist. It simply occured to me that it was high time I knew little things such as jurisdiction and had some knowledgeable folk handy. But, to check my legal theory here, one would think that if - as my attorney anticipates - this current dispute with my first ex is dismissed at the adequate cause hearing, that the allegations would then lose any impact. No cause and all that. Yes, no, maybe?
 

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