Proper jurisdiction and modification of parenting time schedule

[InfantCustody]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC/SC

Hope everyone here is well. I posted in January and shortly after my ex and I came to an agreement on a school schedule however he would not put it in writing. When I pushed the issue a few days ago, he said we no longer have an agreement. He will not allow his time to drop one day below 50/50. Little IC will go to school in my district. He starts school in 3 weeks.

First question: Our original order was filed in County A in NC. He lives just north of County A in an adjoining County in NC. I now live just south of County A in an adjoining County in SC. Do I still file a modification in County A? Even though neither of us live there?

Next question: Court order requires us to mediate before court. How long do I give him to agree to a mediator before I just file? He has a nasty habit of dragging his feet until the last minute or just ignoring me.

Next question: When parents are 45 minutes apart and you have previously shared 50/50 custody, what is a reasonable parenting plan? I have offered him 3 weekend's a month Friday to Monday, every spring break, and 50/50 in the summer except the month of July which he could have except the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends. All other holidays, etc shared. He declined because he would be about 20 days shy of true 50/50.

Despite what he says I'm not trying to take his time away, I would happily stay with 50/50 and he could transport to and from school on his days, but he doesn't consider school day transport an option except Monday mornings.

Anything I am missing?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC/SC

Hope everyone here is well. I posted in January and shortly after my ex and I came to an agreement on a school schedule however he would not put it in writing. When I pushed the issue a few days ago, he said we no longer have an agreement. He will not allow his time to drop one day below 50/50. Little IC will go to school in my district. He starts school in 3 weeks.

First question: Our original order was filed in County A in NC. He lives just north of County A in an adjoining County in NC. I now live just south of County A in an adjoining County in SC. Do I still file a modification in County A? Even though neither of us live there?

Next question: Court order requires us to mediate before court. How long do I give him to agree to a mediator before I just file? He has a nasty habit of dragging his feet until the last minute or just ignoring me.

Next question: When parents are 45 minutes apart and you have previously shared 50/50 custody, what is a reasonable parenting plan? I have offered him 3 weekend's a month Friday to Monday, every spring break, and 50/50 in the summer except the month of July which he could have except the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends. All other holidays, etc shared. He declined because he would be about 20 days shy of true 50/50.

Despite what he says I'm not trying to take his time away, I would happily stay with 50/50 and he could transport to and from school on his days, but he doesn't consider school day transport an option except Monday mornings.

Anything I am missing?

As you have not filed to change the jurisdiction, yes, you need to file in County A. Why shouldn't you still keep 50/50 custody? Why should YOU not get 3 weekends? Would you be happy with that schedule? Why does the child get to school in YOUR county? Whatever you offer him, to determine if it is fair, ask yourself, if you would do it. If you wouldn't, then there is your answer. In a 50/50 situation, dad could end up primary. Why shouldn't he get 50/50 in July?

 

[LdiJ]

As you have not filed to change the jurisdiction, yes, you need to file in County A. Why shouldn't you still keep 50/50 custody? Why should YOU not get 3 weekends? Would you be happy with that schedule? Why does the child get to school in YOUR county? Whatever you offer him, to determine if it is fair, ask yourself, if you would do it. If you wouldn't, then there is your answer. In a 50/50 situation, dad could end up primary. Why shouldn't he get 50/50 in July?

OG, there are court orders from a couple of years ago that state that if the parents cannot find a magnet school 1/2 way between them that the child would be attending school in mom's school district. The parents have already agreed that there is no magnet school. Dad has no change of circumstance to change that previous court order.

Therefore, the child is going to be attending school in mom's district. Dad can certainly keep his 50/50 if he is willing and able to transport the child back and forth to school on his days.

Mom, unfortunately you should have taken this to court back when you and dad had the verbal agreement. Now, you have a serious timing problem. You need to file for a modification of parenting time based on the fact that the court orders say that the child will attend school in your district but you and dad are unable to come to an agreement on parenting time. You need to do this immediately and see if there is any chance of getting it heard on an emergency basis. Yes, you will have to file in the original county where the orders were made, even though none of you live there now. You have a better chance of getting it done faster if you use an attorney.

 

[Zigner]

What emergency? Poor planning doesn't constitute an emergency.

 

[LdiJ]

What emergency? Poor planning doesn't constitute an emergency.

I was saying that for the child's sake.

The orders are crystal clear that the child will be attending school in mom's community. Its not mom's fault that she and dad came to an agreement on a modification of parenting time and then dad reneged. Its also not mom's fault if dad cannot exercise his time because he cannot get the child back and forth to school. It is mom's fault that she did not bring it to a head much sooner than this, but its still not her fault that he reneged.

My concern is that dad will not transport the child to school on his days but will insist on taking his days anyway, and then it would absolutely become an emergency.

 

[Ohiogal]

I was saying that for the child's sake.

The orders are crystal clear that the child will be attending school in mom's community. Its not mom's fault that she and dad came to an agreement on a modification of parenting time and then dad reneged. Its also not mom's fault if dad cannot exercise his time because he cannot get the child back and forth to school. It is mom's fault that she did not bring it to a head much sooner than this, but its still not her fault that he reneged.

My concern is that dad will not transport the child to school on his days but will insist on taking his days anyway, and then it would absolutely become an emergency.

Your concern matters not. Of course, I am still waiting on an apology for your idea that I am scoring points. Won't hold my breath. Dad has every right to not agree. Has mom not agreed to dad's choice of schooling (magnet schools)? And when was that agreement? Before or after the parents moved?

 

[Zigner]

I see where you're coming from, but I'm not of the same opinion about the emergent nature of this matter, nor do I believe the court would be, and the court is what matters when deciding to grant an emergency hearing.

 

[LdiJ]

Your concern matters not. Of course, I am still waiting on an apology for your idea that I am scoring points. Won't hold my breath. Dad has every right to not agree. Has mom not agreed to dad's choice of schooling (magnet schools)? And when was that agreement? Before or after the parents moved?

Read mom's last thread prior to this one.

 

[InfantCustody]

I believe you misunderstood what I said about July. I have offered him the entire month of July minus 3 weekends, 1st, 3rd and 5th. Of the 31 day month, he would have 22 days.

There are no magnet schools in the middle. We cannot afford private schools. Those would be the only schools in the middle.

We had both left County A when we made the court order. I have moved since then however I moved 10 miles closer and into a better school district. My home was chosen for school because THAT is in our sons best interest. I have better work hours, more flexibility to meet our sons needs and a better living situation. My ex is not arguing where he goes to school.

I would be perfectly happy with him continuing to exercise his 50/50 - I think that is in our sons best interest. My ex does not want to do the driving.

If the situations were reversed and it was best for our son to go to school at his house, yes I feel this would be fair. I would also do what I had to do to drive him to school to have more time. He is making that choice. I am asking for one weekend a month with our son. I dont feel that is unreasonable.

 

[Ohiogal]

Read mom's last thread prior to this one.

Nope. Don't want to try to score points ... for either side. What is important should be in this thread.

 

[stealth2]

Nope. Don't want to try to score points ...

Stop. Really.