Protection from future spousal support?

[neverendit]

If I decided to remarry, I understand that I am able to protect my current separate property assets with a well written pre-nuptual agreement.

However, let's say hypothetical new wife (no current plans!) has the potential to changed her mind after several years of marriage. Is there any way to write into a pre-nup protection from alimony if this was to happen?

Would it stand up in California court?

California seems a very dangerous place to get married in. In fact, I think I'll make a million bucks publishing a mandatory pamphlet entitled, "Your financial responsibility if you make this decision". They hand out DMV booklets with lot's of instructions about the laws. Why not family law?

 

[Equishoe]

Dear neverendit,

I think that would be a great idea! Maybe even a marriage exam that test your knowledge on family law to make sure everyone is prepared for the worst. I would buy a "California Guide to the in's and out's of Marriage In the Golden State" or maybe "To Mary Or Not? Is It All It's Cracked Up To Be Thses Days?" I also wish there were an easier way to find out the answers to my worries and questions than having to post my private live on the internet. So, when you write this pamphlett let me know, okay? Have a good one. Ann

 

[britt9]

great idea

great idea on the handbook to marriage in ca., although, i'm wondering if it should be: in the event of divorce, what am my in for?
i live in ca., have for most of my life.
i have been married 3 times and am planning on re-marrying in august of this year, hopefully.
in previous marriages when we split up i went my way and he went his. there was never any desire to shaft the ex with alimony and i don't believe in burning bridges. the man that i am going to marry is just in the middle of an ugly divorce, there are no children, and lots of dept. he just got nailed for $1223.00 in temporary alimony, retro active from feb 2002. i am starting to believe that ca. is like another country, in that it seems alittle too female friendly & changes the laws to suit the female. keeping in mind that i am a female. i also have alot of pride, and i guess i would rather be broke and destitute than to admit that i needed the ex's help. i thought women wanted to be created equal and that they can do the same things that men do and that they should get the same treatment as men. but, there seems to be a double standard here. i just know that when it comes to paying alimony to a person who lies about everything, i have met her and been threatened by her and i can tell when she is lying, her lips are moving. i know that she is working and i know how much she makes, because i used to do the same work: housecleaning, plus, in addition to her housecleaning she is a dog sitter/trainer. i also know that she makes real close to what he does, as far as declareable income. because this is california, and because she is a woman, it doesn't seem to matter, she will be awarded. hopefully, by the time his trial date gets here, he will be able to deduct the depts that were incurred during the marriage, plus what he is already paying for, for her, i.e. car insurance & tax dept. good luck
i have actually voiced concern to my man about him being scared off by this present mess, that he is in, he said no way that that would happen, because he loves me and feels i keep him sane. his future to be ex is 58 and he is 46, the marriage was 17 yrs and she spent more than he could bring in so, anyone who is getting married in ca. do yourself a favor and check the laws regarding spousal support, anywhere online, this site has been a great help in that respect.
good luck.

 

[Equishoe]

Not all ex's are money hungry but some are downright dumb. My fiance's ex (married for 22 yrs) never worked and raised two kids. She asked only for $250. for six months. She works parttime for min wage at the local Indian Casino and seems happy, but I think she should have asked for a little longer than six months. It's a Crazy World!

 

[britt9]

yes, some women are really dumb. This female, i use this term loosely, isn't just money hungry, she doesn't have a clue on how to manage money.
i can understand how you would need it if you have kids, but in this instance there are no children, one piece of property, in the way of undeveloped land and if i thought for one minute that giving this to her as a settlement would make her go away, i would ask him to do it, we figured it to be worth approx. $40,000.00 and if she went, i'm not even sure that afganistan would be far enough away. she is not doing this out of need, but from a desire to hurt him. i can't stand vicious, malicious people. there is enough hurt in the world without that. why she can't just go away and get a life and leave us alone is beyond me.

i have another post in the divorce section of this forum, check it out there are some interesting circumstances in this case. the thread is called "ugly divorce with no kids"
thanks for your reply.

 

[neverendit]

Yesterday I was advised by a family law attorney that in California, a new law is on the books. "Marriage by Contract", which does provide protection from future spousal support if agreed upon and signed into contract by both parties. Although not very romantic, this may provide some security for us stricken with fear over the "M" word after going through the gut wrenching experince of an ugly divorce motivated by money/assets.

Apparently the recent events of Barry Bonds and the likes spured the interest in this.

Has anyone heard of this? Can you elaborate?

 

[britt9]

i'm not sure, it sounds like a pre-nup. or is t something that is done during the settlement?
i know for mine, that if she wants to settle out of court, then the stipulation would be:
no coming back and no contact, otherwise undesireable legal action will be taken against her of which i can't elaborate at this time.

i've found that if the marriage was about money,or the lack thereof, it will almost always be ugly,

i've been married 3 times and i haven't ever asked for anything from any of the ex's and i'm not sure how much of it is pride and how much is the fact that even if i wanted to there was never anything to take. i'd like to think that it is more of pride, having been disrepected so often, i wouldn't want any of them to think i needed anything from them ever.

i hope that you find the answer to that question.

 

[Equishoe]

I was married once, for 12 yrs and we never had any kids, partly because I never wanted to be a single mom. I know that is a fatalistic approach and probably condemned the marriage from the start. But what can I say? I did not want to be dependant on anyone, simply self reliant. When we parted it was somewhat ammicable and we tried to split things up fairly and we used no attorney at all. This would not have been the case had children been involved.

I have no experience with family court, but it seems that any judgement can be put aside if the judge feels its warranted. So a legal agreement is not really something you can safely depend on and plan your future around. I will not feel secure until several years pass and she is still working and has not asked for more alimony.

If anyone does hear more re: Alimony judgement protection law, I would also like to hear more of it. Glad Tidings in CA. Ann