question

[misty blue 2]

What is the name of your state? wv

ok i have had a post on here before and things have some what calmed down ...however on the dui charges i think i metioned before....there is now a ruling...my ex has kids everyweekend ..due to restraining order his mother picks up and drops off kids....he is ordered 10 days jaill time to be served on wekends so that is does not interfere with his job and he can continue to pay his support...my question is when his mother shows up to pick up the kids to take to him...he will be in jail..she does not know i know this...can i tell her no and not be in contempt of court?

 

[BL]

What time is he suppose to turn his self in and what day ?

What is his normal days and time for pickup and visitations ?


I'd call the Jail and ask them to verify he is suppose to be there to do his time and what dates and times .

If you can verify this with the Jail personnel ( tell them about the visitations ), then if he is to be unavailable. for visits , inform his mother that he can not utilize his visitation during his time in jail,and she can not take the child until or unless he has time left upon his release , or some time before he begans his sentence. Make it clear that the child is defenatly suppose to be with you during his times in jail not her.

You certainly wouldn't be in contempt during the time he is incarcerated .

 

[misty blue 2]

ok his normal time is for his mom to pick them up at 6 pm on friday evening and his mom to bring them back at 7 pm sunday evenings.

i am not sure of his exact date of jail time he told me in a brief conversation he would have to spen weekends in jail then he told our 7 yr old daughter he would not be seeing her for the next 4 or 5 weekends. my mother and sister are very close with my ex and my mother told me he had 10 days to serve on weekends. now i was thinking if he went in on fri night and got out on sun evening that would count as 2 days but others say as long as he is ther on fri sat and sun that counts as three days no matter how long the time.
his mother went to court with him and when i asked her when his weekends started she acted like she knew nothing of it. also i have no idea if he lost his licence and how long he has lost them but i believe in our state 2 nd offence is one year...so would that also be a concern i should let the judge know about when we go for modification?

 

[nextwife]

I'm just curious. Would it be so terrible for your kids to spend that time with their Grandma anyway? My daughter (age 7) has ONLY one living grandparent left, and she is not well enough to actually have her more than 3 hours or so. I would give ANYTHING for my girl to have her grandparents still around to spend a weekend with. MY MIL dropped dead of a heart attack when my daughter was 3 - and after she was gone my mom is it, the only grandparent. One never knows when there will be a second opportunity.

 

[BL]

You need to try and call the Jail and see if they have the ORDER of what his start date and times he is to serve , and how many days it counts each week end, and what his end date and time is .

Have you done this ?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

If he already told his daughter that he wasn't going to be able to see her for the next 4 or 5 weekends it sounds like you two are in agreement that visitation is not to include a visit to the jail or he doesn't want his daughter to know he is in jail and that his mother is trying to excert her control, since you two cannot directly communicate makes it difficult. Have you contacted the court to see exactly what the sentence is and when it is to be served, then you can plan accordingly. However, if he is allowing his mother to use his visitation time and she is already the person designated to pick your daughter up, you may still have to allow the visit. If you can get clarification from the court you may save some grief, since her grandmother is already involved in the visitaiton and your mother has free access to your daughter while under your control you might be hard pressed, not to allow the visits unless her father says his mother isn't to have visitation.

 

[misty blue 2]

ok thank you for your advice

...ok first thing is...
it is not a bad thing to let mother in law see the kids or have the kids stay over occationally but i have talked to him and her about me keeping the kids on some wekends to visit other family... they wont and they lie about things to me all the time...on this sunday my kids were in a small car wreck with there dad as he was on the way to take them to meet his mom....the 2 yr son was not in car seat and 7 year old daughter was in back of pick up truck...no seat beats no cops called no ambulance called i found out the next day when my daughter was complaining of headache.....he is careless.. he is goin t be spending weekends in jail now for 2nd offense dui and has lost his licence and mom should be picking them up ..
his mom...is good to the kids but wants to lie to me about petty things and that upsets me ..
..also my ex's mother lives 5 mins from me. she is welcome...and knows this and does....to stop by anytime to see these kids take them any where and visit.
my mom on the other hand lives 1 min from my ex and sees my kids on my ex's wekends...i have 2 grand fathers that are living and would like for the kids to visit them.. one who lives in fl and the other here about 1 hour from me but i work mon- fri now and it is hard to get off work in evening and drive that far and do homework and dinner and have a normal bed time so
i ask that while he cant have the kids i do so that my family also be able to see the children..my grandfather was diagnosed with prostate and colon cancer recently and my kids have not seene him since the court order...my 2 yr old does not even rember him but my 7 yr does and asks to see him
.i no a court order is in place and i also no that the judge said we can work with each other and can stay with me on a few wekend if parents are in agreement ...not mother in law in agreement
i am sorry i went on and on. but i am a talker and i find i cant staop sometimes...lolalso i talked to family court today and a hearing has been set... for a while they were just backed up and did not mail out paper work....when we signed agreement he did not want kids every weekend that was my idea...i worked mostly weekends and i grew up with out a dad and dont want my kids to...he never would get them soon after he refused altogether and his mom started doin it for him and making him get them everyother...also since thenm i got a new position now and i am off every weekend so i ask why cant i keep my own kids on my only 2 days off while he is at work...cant my mother in law still keep them on occations and let me have fun time with my kids instead of after work and school for a few hours...they seemommy after hard day af work and in rush of homework and dinner and bath they dont get to see mommy chilled out or at park or movies..
and does it make me bad to want that