Questions about divorce in Texas

[Teggie]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

My husband and I have been married for 10 years, we have a son. He has been addicted to prescription drugs for about 5 years now. I have tried everything I possibly could to try to make the marriage work. We have seperated a couple of times over this and each time he would do better and then it would start again. The last time he even went for help but relapsed within 3 months.

At this time he has progressed to stealing money from my account and even stated he went and bought more drugs off the street and had no remorse for doing it. That was the final blow for me and I am done. I told him days ago that I was not going to tolerate that behaviour around our son and that he needed to find another place to live. He told me he would leave as soon as he got his car registered, thats been 5 days ago, he has been staying in our sons room and shows no indication of leaving.

I am the primary breadwinner and the house and car are in my name only. His name is on nothing, not my checking account or any of the utilities except for the car insurance. I pay all the bills, buy all the food and pay all of our child's expenses. He has been unemployed for a majority of our marriage. He has back and neck problems and states that is why he is unable to work. He has applied for disability several times and has been denied each time. He has no family or friends willing to take him in and that is why I feel he has not left the home yet. He would essentially be out on the street with nothing. He has pawned anything he has of value and I fear my household items will go next. So I have marked all my electronics with fingernail polish and have copied all the serial numbers down in case they go missing.

I wish to have full custody of our son because I feel his drug addiction makes him unsafe to be around our son. He has done many dangerous things while under the influence including driving a vehicle with our son in it, nearly setting our house on fire with lit cigarrettes and exposing our son to scuzzy people.

I want him out of my life and off my property.

I am wondering what I will need to do to make him leave and if I can get full custody of our son. I have an appointment with my lawyer but not until Sept 2nd. Could someone give me some insight as to what to expect?

Thanks,
TeggieWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

My husband and I have been married for 10 years, we have a son. He has been addicted to prescription drugs for about 5 years now. I have tried everything I possibly could to try to make the marriage work. We have seperated a couple of times over this and each time he would do better and then it would start again. The last time he even went for help but relapsed within 3 months.

At this time he has progressed to stealing money from my account and even stated he went and bought more drugs off the street and had no remorse for doing it. That was the final blow for me and I am done. I told him days ago that I was not going to tolerate that behaviour around our son and that he needed to find another place to live. He told me he would leave as soon as he got his car registered, thats been 5 days ago, he has been staying in our sons room and shows no indication of leaving.

I am the primary breadwinner and the house and car are in my name only. His name is on nothing, not my checking account or any of the utilities except for the car insurance. I pay all the bills, buy all the food and pay all of our child's expenses. He has been unemployed for a majority of our marriage. He has back and neck problems and states that is why he is unable to work. He has applied for disability several times and has been denied each time. He has no family or friends willing to take him in and that is why I feel he has not left the home yet. He would essentially be out on the street with nothing. He has pawned anything he has of value and I fear my household items will go next. So I have marked all my electronics with fingernail polish and have copied all the serial numbers down in case they go missing.

I wish to have full custody of our son because I feel his drug addiction makes him unsafe to be around our son. He has done many dangerous things while under the influence including driving a vehicle with our son in it, nearly setting our house on fire with lit cigarrettes and exposing our son to scuzzy people.

I want him out of my life and off my property.

I am wondering what I will need to do to make him leave and if I can get full custody of our son. I have an appointment with my lawyer but not until Sept 2nd. Could someone give me some insight as to what to expect?

Thanks,
TeggieWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Expect to split all marital assets and debt 50/50.

Alimony is not out of the question.

BTW, he doesn't have to leave the marital home unless ordered to do that by a judge.

 

[ecmst12]

You file for divorce and ask for sole posession of the marital residence. Expect joint legal custody and unsupervised standard visitation UNLESS you have actual proof of any of the unsafe things he did (such as a police report) or if he has arrests/convictions on his records.

I would suggest removing all items of real value from the house and storing them someplace secure until he is out of the house. Unless of course they are marital property. Anything solely yours though, move it out of his reach. Otherwise it's just temptation.

 

[mistoffolees]

You file for divorce and ask for sole posession of the marital residence. Expect joint legal custody and unsupervised standard visitation UNLESS you have actual proof of any of the unsafe things he did (such as a police report) or if he has arrests/convictions on his records.

I would suggest removing all items of real value from the house and storing them someplace secure until he is out of the house. Unless of course they are marital property. Anything solely yours though, move it out of his reach. Otherwise it's just temptation.

If there are valuable things that are marital property, it's probably OK to move them for safekeeping, as well. Just make sure to disclose them to the court when you delineate assets.

 

[LdiJ]

If there are valuable things that are marital property, it's probably OK to move them for safekeeping, as well. Just make sure to disclose them to the court when you delineate assets.

I agree. Otherwise, you risk them not being available to divide.

 

[Teggie]

In going through my jewelry I noted several pieces gone, I found them today at the pawn shop where he pawned them.

After confronting him and telling him exactly what I thought about him I went to the police dept and filed a report and found that since several of the pieces were mine before the marriage I could charge him with theft. I haven't yet but I can if I need to.

After I returned home he was gone & I hope he stays gone. And this evening my son states his bike is missing and I am wondering if this will end.

I plan to get a copy of the police report and he does have a criminal history as I found out recently, his last arrest was several years ago but he does have a history.

I plan to ask for full possession of the home, my car and full custody of our son, my reasoning is that he will not even show up for court, plus he has no funds for a lawyer & I doubt anyone would take him pro bono. I have no assests to speak of, the house is 4 years paid into a 30 year note and car is maybye 1/2 paid for. I have no retirement and all the furnishings are second hand and not worth much.

Is there anything I need to be aware of?

Thank you for all the advice I have received, it has been immensly helpful.

Thanks,
Teggie

 

[LdiJ]

In going through my jewelry I noted several pieces gone, I found them today at the pawn shop where he pawned them.

After confronting him and telling him exactly what I thought about him I went to the police dept and filed a report and found that since several of the pieces were mine before the marriage I could charge him with theft. I haven't yet but I can if I need to.

After I returned home he was gone & I hope he stays gone. And this evening my son states his bike is missing and I am wondering if this will end.

I plan to get a copy of the police report and he does have a criminal history as I found out recently, his last arrest was several years ago but he does have a history.

I plan to ask for full possession of the home, my car and full custody of our son, my reasoning is that he will not even show up for court, plus he has no funds for a lawyer & I doubt anyone would take him pro bono. I have no assests to speak of, the house is 4 years paid into a 30 year note and car is maybye 1/2 paid for. I have no retirement and all the furnishings are second hand and not worth much.

Is there anything I need to be aware of?

Thank you for all the advice I have received, it has been immensly helpful.

Thanks,
Teggie

This is not legal advice.

Change the locks on your home and garage. Technically its the marital residence and he is allowed to be there until a judge tells him otherwise, but if he would pawn his own son's bike he is gone too badly to care about anything.

If he breaks in you cannot do anything about it, because again, its the marital residence, but you will be protecting assets to at least some extent.

Get the things that are the most important to you out of the house and somewhere safe.

 

[mistoffolees]

In going through my jewelry I noted several pieces gone, I found them today at the pawn shop where he pawned them.

After confronting him and telling him exactly what I thought about him I went to the police dept and filed a report and found that since several of the pieces were mine before the marriage I could charge him with theft. I haven't yet but I can if I need to.

Do it.

Having a police report in hand will make it a lot easier as you go through the process. If you don't have a police report, it's 'he said, she said'. Also, there will be a time limit for filing the report and you don't want to miss that deadline.

 

[Teggie]

I am taking all advice. Thank you all. Hopefully this will all be over soon

 

[acmb05]

Do it.

Having a police report in hand will make it a lot easier as you go through the process. If you don't have a police report, it's 'he said, she said'. Also, there will be a time limit for filing the report and you don't want to miss that deadline.

Better make darn sure she can prove she owned that stuff before they were married before she files a theft charge. I'm not saying she should not do it but she better have proof to back it up.

 

[Tex78704]

I would generally recommend against filing a police report for theft against a spouse in an effort to possibly have him arrested and gain an advantage in a divorce proceeding. Certainly not over a few pieces of jewelry he hocked.

The issues you have with your husband stealing from you are chronic, and you have allowed this behaviour to go on for some time. The amount in question is probably not all that much, and the police would not be inclined to prosecute this. A police report in and of itself will not give you much more than the pawn shop receipts. All either will establish is that he pawned the jewelry, nothing more. Questions of intent and implied consent will boil down to he said she said arguments.

You were married ten years and have a son together. The marriage is coming to an end, you recovered your missing jewelry, and he has no assets and may soon be destitute. For many reasons the net effect of calling the police may weigh against you.

Beyond this, your attorney (and it's often best to talk to more than one before choosing one) should advise you on the best course of action on how to handle the divorce.

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

My husband and I have been married for 10 years, we have a son. He has been addicted to prescription drugs for about 5 years now.

We presume and sincerely hope you mean to say it is the HUSBAND that is the addicted "he".

 

[Teggie]

The stealing has only been going on for about 2 monthes and I only discovered it 2 weeks ago.. I have reason to beleive his drug abuse has escalated to other illegal substances besides prescription meds due to the sudden escalation of his actions. He has never stolen from the family before. And yes my husband is the addict, not my son.

I have arranged to pick up the jewelry, I talked to the officer I gave the statement to and he said my best option would to be to recover the jewelry, file for divorce and end it. Which is what I plan to do. I still have two pieces of jewelry unaccounted for as is my son's bike. Those are likely gone forever.

I did threaten to bring charges againest him if he did not leave us alone and so far it's working. He has only been here once to pick up his clothes that I had placed in the yard.

I am going to ask for possession of the home, car and full custody of our son, whether I get that or not will be up to the judge. But I am going to ask for it.

If he does not show up for court which I beleive is highly likely will the judge grant me what I ask? How does that work?

Thank you,
Teggie

 

[mistoffolees]

I am going to ask for possession of the home, car and full custody of our son, whether I get that or not will be up to the judge. But I am going to ask for it.

If he does not show up for court which I beleive is highly likely will the judge grant me what I ask? How does that work?

If he doesn't show up, you are likely to get what you ask for as long as it's reasonable.

If he does show up, keep in mind the difference between legal custody and physical custody. Some judges routinely award joint legal custody, even when one spouse isn't much of a parent. As long as you have primary physical custody, legal custody might not matter.

Is there a record of his drug use (police reports, etc)? If so, you can ask for him to have supervised visitation only. If his drug use is not documented, he may ask for and receive unsupervised visitation.

Presumably, he will not be paying much, if any support, but file for it, anyway.

 

[Teggie]

Thank you for that reply, it was very helpful!

I wish I had more evidence of his drug use, best I can do is provide the police reports for the jewelry and bike, and I know of some of his ex-friends of his that would say they knew of his drug use. There are records of it with the local MHMR where he received treatment before but I am sure that would be considered confidential medical information. I'm sure what I say or my family says will not count for much.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed he just doesn't show up.

Thank you very much,
Teggie