Racial comments at work

[amiegaines654]

What is the name of your state? Texas

I work for a small company. My supervisor is the owners sister-in-law. 2 weeks ago, we were talking about buying houses, and she stated that she really wanted to move to a town near ours that is know for being predominatly "white". She said, "I really want to move to Gary, because there are no "chocolates" (African American) there. I am not African Ameriacan, but this deeply offended me. My husband is African American. I did not say anything to her at the time, nor have I since then. I am quite uncomfortable working with her. Does anyone have any advice for me??? We live in a small town, and jobs are not easy to come by.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Chocolates? Well that's the first time I heard that.

Obviously you need to get a thicker skin. While inappropriate, her comment will not rise to the level of discrimination.

EVERYONE is a bigot in some form or another. Read the definition. That being said, you do have the right to tell her that you feel such comments are unnecessary and you take offense to them.

If she doesn't then stop, file a complaint with your HR department or immediate supervisor.

 

[cbg]

Agree absolutely with Belieze. One comment, however, inappropriate, does not meet the definition of discrimination.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Chocolates? Well that's the first time I heard that.

Obviously you need to get a thicker skin. While inappropriate, her comment will not rise to the level of discrimination.

EVERYONE is a bigot in some form or another. Read the definition. That being said, you do have the right to tell her that you feel such comments are unnecessary and you take offense to them.

If she doesn't then stop, file a complaint with your HR department or immediate supervisor.

Methinks she is stuck between a rock and a hard place,
"I work for a small company. My supervisor is the owners sister-in-law." Her supervisor is the one making the remarks. At least she knows her supervisor isn't planning on moving next door.

 

[amiegaines654]

Methinks she is stuck between a rock and a hard place,
"I work for a small company. My supervisor is the owners sister-in-law." Her supervisor is the one making the remarks. At least she knows her supervisor isn't planning on moving next door.

I understand that this is not really basis for discrimination. However, this is my supervisor!!!!! That is way out of line. What do you think she would have done if I called her a cracker???? She probably would have fired me. I probably do need to thickin my skin a little, but that doesn't excuse her actions!!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I understand that this is not really basis for discrimination. However, this is my supervisor!!!!! That is way out of line. What do you think she would have done if I called her a cracker???? She probably would have fired me. I probably do need to thickin my skin a little, but that doesn't excuse her actions!!!

I'm not excusing her actions, but if you were to call her a "Cracker" (I thought they were from Florida?) that would be insubordination and she could fire you, in fact she can fire you for no reason just as you can quit, for no reason. She wasn't making any personal remark about you, she was stating a personal preference that you took personally, does she even know your spouse is African-Am? Would you have felt better if she used the term African-Am instead of Chocolates? I have heard African-Americans talking together calling each other, names and I was offended, it wasn't directed at me. It was offensive but not discrimination. And I was serious, at least you won't have to deal with her as a neighbor.

 

[amiegaines654]

I'm not excusing her actions, but if you were to call her a "Cracker" (I thought they were from Florida?) that would be insubordination and she could fire you, in fact she can fire you for no reason just as you can quit, for no reason. She wasn't making any personal remark about you, she was stating a personal preference that you took personally, does she even know your spouse is African-Am? Would you have felt better if she used the term African-Am instead of Chocolates? I have heard African-Americans talking together calling each other, names and I was offended, it wasn't directed at me. It was offensive but not discrimination. And I was serious, at least you won't have to deal with her as a neighbor.

Very good point. Guess I have to decide if I want to work with a bigot. My choice. Yes she does know he is African American.

Life is just not fair sometimes huh?? LOL ----Thanks for your thoughts

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Very good point. Guess I have to decide if I want to work with a bigot. My choice. Yes she does know he is African American.

Life is just not fair sometimes huh?? LOL ----Thanks for your thoughts

I've got news for you sweetcheeks, you work with, live with, sleep with and bump into bigots everyday.

Even to the point of looking at one in the mirror.

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
Pronunciation: 'bi-g&t
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French, hypocrite, bigot
: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices
- big·ot·ed /-g&-t&d/ adjective
- big·ot·ed·ly adverb

Cambridge International Dictionary of English
bigot
noun [C] DISAPPROVING
a person who has strong, unreasonable beliefs and who thinks that anyone who does not have the same beliefs is wrong:

Oxford English Dictionary
bigot
/biggt/

• noun a person who is prejudiced in their views and intolerant of the opinions of others.

 

[Beth3]

I also find such ignorant and biggoted comments totally offensive.

amiegaines654, as someone else has said, one ignorant comment does not amount to prohibited discrimination. However let me tell you a surefire way to respond to such comments without getting yourself in any trouble when it may be inadvisable to say you don't appreciate such remarks. Responding to any rude or inappropriate comment with absolute stony silence will get your point across completely. It never fails. If you feel you must respond with something, an incredulous "EXCUSE ME????" also works. Plus you will not yourself have said or done anything that could be construed as impolite or inappopriate. You simply can't "call out" the boss no matter what he or she says.

I'm sorry to say this won't be the first situation of this type you'll encounter so being prepared with how you're going to respond would be advisable.

 

[cbg]

Amiegaines, NO ONE is saying that such comments are acceptable or appropriate. I find them every bit as offensive as you do.

However, the law requires more than a single comment before it would agree that either illegal discrimination, illegal harassment, or a hostile work environment exists. The Constitution of this country gives her the right to hold, and speak, her opinions as long as she does not take any adverse actions against someone on the basis of her bigotry.

If the company chooses to, they can discipline her for her inappropriate remarks. But until she crosses the line into illegality, which she is far from having done as yet, no one is obligated to take any action. It's up to you to decide how you want to proceed.

Beth's suggestions on how to handle any subsequent comments are excellent.

 

[amiegaines654]

I've got news for you sweetcheeks, you work with, live with, sleep with and bump into bigots everyday.

Even to the point of looking at one in the mirror.

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
Pronunciation: 'bi-g&t
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French, hypocrite, bigot
: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices
- big·ot·ed /-g&-t&d/ adjective
- big·ot·ed·ly adverb

Cambridge International Dictionary of English
bigot
noun [C] DISAPPROVING
a person who has strong, unreasonable beliefs and who thinks that anyone who does not have the same beliefs is wrong:

Oxford English Dictionary
bigot
/biggt/

• noun a person who is prejudiced in their views and intolerant of the opinions of others.

So you think I am a bigot???????????????????? What in the hell would make you think that?????

 

[amiegaines654]

I also find such ignorant and biggoted comments totally offensive.

amiegaines654, as someone else has said, one ignorant comment does not amount to prohibited discrimination. However let me tell you a surefire way to respond to such comments without getting yourself in any trouble when it may be inadvisable to say you don't appreciate such remarks. Responding to any rude or inappropriate comment with absolute stony silence will get your point across completely. It never fails. If you feel you must respond with something, an incredulous "EXCUSE ME????" also works. Plus you will not yourself have said or done anything that could be construed as impolite or inappopriate. You simply can't "call out" the boss no matter what he or she says.

I'm sorry to say this won't be the first situation of this type you'll encounter so being prepared with how you're going to respond would be advisable.

Thank you for your good advice. That is what I did. I did not say anything to her, and haven't said much since then. I am professional enough to discuss work related issues with her because she is my boss, but I will not be "chit chatting with her ever again.

Looks like we have some bigots on this site as I type!!!!!!!!

 

[cbg]

Belieze is not saying you are a racial bigot. He is pointing out, correctly, that EVERYONE is bigoted to some degree about something. It may not be race. It, in fact, may not even be a personal characteristic. It may be a political or social position; it may be something totally different. I, personally, am bigoted against the NY Yankees . But EVERYONE has an opinion about SOMETHING that might fall into that category.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Belieze is not saying you are a racial bigot. He is pointing out, correctly, that EVERYONE is bigoted to some degree about something. It may not be race. It, in fact, may not even be a personal characteristic. It may be a political or social position; it may be something totally different. I, personally, am bigoted against the NY Yankees . But EVERYONE has an opinion about SOMETHING that might fall into that category.

Now that was a very nice dissertation on the human fraility of bigotry.

Would you LIKE to know what I'M BIGOTED AGAINST ???

 

[Beth3]

Dear God, no.