Refuses to use legal name

[angeleyzad]

What is the name of your state? ME

Not sure if there is any legal recourse...

Ex refuses to use the legal name of our son. We have 2 sons, one (8 y.o.) is named after his family, the younger (6 y.o.) is named after my family. The EX (and his family) refuse to use the younger's legal name (my maiden name), always calling him the ex's name. My son has been very upset about it. I have asked for it to stop, but the ex refuses. My son has asked his father to stop, but he gets mad at him every time. He has even gone as far as telling the kids that he has to use his name for him, so that people don't think he was kidnapped. My son does not want his name changed, he has cried to me many times about it. His father has told him that he's going to have it changed, that the judge will change his name, yet he has never filed to have it changed. It's getting very confusing to the child, not to mention the thoughts now of kidnapping that his father is putting into his head.

Is there anything that I could file with the courts to have him stop putting this stress on our son? I have tried to talk to him myself, but he won't listen to me.

 

[fairisfair]

wouldn't it just be easier to explain to your son that his legal name is John K. Smith, but Daddy and his family love you so much that they really wish that your name was the same as theirs, and that is why they like to call you that name. Lots of people have special little nicknames that they like to call other people, but that doesn't change what their real name is and just because daddy likes to call you John K. Jones, it doesn't really change anything.

 

[angeleyzad]

The problem is that my son does not like being called the ohter name. He complains to me about it, and when he tells his dad that he does not want to be called the other name, he gets upset at him and yells at him.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? ME

Not sure if there is any legal recourse...

Ex refuses to use the legal name of our son. We have 2 sons, one (8 y.o.) is named after his family, the younger (6 y.o.) is named after my family. The EX (and his family) refuse to use the younger's legal name (my maiden name), always calling him the ex's name. My son has been very upset about it. I have asked for it to stop, but the ex refuses. My son has asked his father to stop, but he gets mad at him every time. He has even gone as far as telling the kids that he has to use his name for him, so that people don't think he was kidnapped. My son does not want his name changed, he has cried to me many times about it. His father has told him that he's going to have it changed, that the judge will change his name, yet he has never filed to have it changed. It's getting very confusing to the child, not to mention the thoughts now of kidnapping that his father is putting into his head.

Is there anything that I could file with the courts to have him stop putting this stress on our son? I have tried to talk to him myself, but he won't listen to me.

While this is normally an issue between the parents and not the children, I would suggest you inform the ex, in writing (certified RRR) that the child has a name and that his continual harassment of the child, including threats to change his name, constitute emotional abuse and if it does not cease immediately, you will take steps to have the court intervene.

 

[fairisfair]

The problem is that my son does not like being called the ohter name. He complains to me about it, and when he tells his dad that he does not want to be called the other name, he gets upset at him and yells at him.

No offense to you, but I have to imagine that at the age of 6, your son's objection to the other name, is most likely because of YOUR response, not because he is so singularly attached to your maiden name. Your child is responding in the way that YOU are teaching him to respond. C'mon, we called my daughter peanut until she was 16 years old, she had no problem in recognizing what her real name was, or any confusion in thinking that she was somehow the love child of the planter's peanut guy.

If dad files to legally change the name, then you can challenge it, but until he does, IMHO you are blowing this way out of proportion, and causing your child pain in the meantime.

 

[angeleyzad]

While this is normally an issue between the parents and not the children, I would suggest you inform the ex, in writing (certified RRR) that the child has a name and that his continual harassment of the child, including threats to change his name, constitute emotional abuse and if it does not cease immediately, you will take steps to have the court intervene.

Thank you for the advise, I think I will send him that letter. What would I file with the court if he does not stop? It wouldn't be anything in regards to our court order, would it? Or would it be a separate suit on behalf of our son? Not sure what the next step would be if he doesn't stop.