Rights of the Non-custodial Parent

[WillingToFight]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

My ex husband has sole custody of our two teenage children. Yesterday, we were in court over a motion and order to show cause that I filed to enforce orthodontia consent and ex said some things to the judge that made me realize why my ex never responds to my emails when I send him info. and/or ask for confirmation of things relating to the kids' school or medical information.

He told the judge that I "meddle" in the kids' school records and make conference appointments "without notifying" him first. I'm sure what he was referring to is that I keep on top of my kids' classes by logging into their grades each week and following up with any overdue assignments. I also scheduled some appointments with several teachers to try to get a better handle on where my DS or DD were struggling.

From my understanding of Oregon law, the non-custodial parent still has full access to school and medical/dental records so long as there is not a court order stating otherwise. The main thing they cannot do is make routine medical/dental appointments (only emergency care.)

The judge gave a disapproving look towards my ex when I cited a thread of emails I'd received and even scolded him once during the hearing about his attitude. It was pretty apparent that ex thinks I am out of the picture, except for my financial contributions to the kids. Unfortunately, that's not why we were in court so he wasn't going to rule on any of it.

I don't plan on filing any actions against ex but I do want to know if I'm within my rights to speak to the school, teachers, doctors, etc. without notifying ex first.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

My ex husband has sole custody of our two teenage children. Yesterday, we were in court over a motion and order to show cause that I filed to enforce orthodontia consent and ex said some things to the judge that made me realize why my ex never responds to my emails when I send him info. and/or ask for confirmation of things relating to the kids' school or medical information.

He told the judge that I "meddle" in the kids' school records and make conference appointments "without notifying" him first. I'm sure what he was referring to is that I keep on top of my kids' classes by logging into their grades each week and following up with any overdue assignments. I also scheduled some appointments with several teachers to try to get a better handle on where my DS or DD were struggling.

From my understanding of Oregon law, the non-custodial parent still has full access to school and medical/dental records so long as there is not a court order stating otherwise. The main thing they cannot do is make routine medical/dental appointments (only emergency care.)

The judge gave a disapproving look towards my ex when I cited a thread of emails I'd received and even scolded him once during the hearing about his attitude. It was pretty apparent that ex thinks I am out of the picture, except for my financial contributions to the kids. Unfortunately, that's not why we were in court so he wasn't going to rule on any of it.

I don't plan on filing any actions against ex but I do want to know if I'm within my rights to speak to the school, teachers, doctors, etc. without notifying ex first.

What does your parenting plan say?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

My ex husband has sole custody of our two teenage children. Yesterday, we were in court over a motion and order to show cause that I filed to enforce orthodontia consent and ex said some things to the judge that made me realize why my ex never responds to my emails when I send him info. and/or ask for confirmation of things relating to the kids' school or medical information.

He told the judge that I "meddle" in the kids' school records and make conference appointments "without notifying" him first. I'm sure what he was referring to is that I keep on top of my kids' classes by logging into their grades each week and following up with any overdue assignments. I also scheduled some appointments with several teachers to try to get a better handle on where my DS or DD were struggling.

From my understanding of Oregon law, the non-custodial parent still has full access to school and medical/dental records so long as there is not a court order stating otherwise. The main thing they cannot do is make routine medical/dental appointments (only emergency care.)

The judge gave a disapproving look towards my ex when I cited a thread of emails I'd received and even scolded him once during the hearing about his attitude. It was pretty apparent that ex thinks I am out of the picture, except for my financial contributions to the kids. Unfortunately, that's not why we were in court so he wasn't going to rule on any of it.

I don't plan on filing any actions against ex but I do want to know if I'm within my rights to speak to the school, teachers, doctors, etc. without notifying ex first.

Yes, you are absolutely within your rights.

 

[Proserpina]

(This might help too - from the Oregon code)

107.154 Effect of order granting sole custody of minor child to one parent on authority of other parent. Unless otherwise ordered by the court, an order of sole custody to one parent shall not deprive the other parent of the following authority:

(1) To inspect and receive school records and to consult with school staff concerning the child's welfare and education, to the same extent as the custodial parent may inspect and receive such records and consult with such staff;

(2) To inspect and receive governmental agency and law enforcement records concerning the child to the same extent as the custodial parent may inspect and receive such records;

(3) To consult with any person who may provide care or treatment for the child and to inspect and receive the child's medical, dental and psychological records, to the same extent as the custodial parent may consult with such person and inspect and receive such records;

(4) To authorize emergency medical, dental, psychological, psychiatric or other health care for the child if the custodial parent is, for practical purposes, unavailable; or

(5) To apply to be the child's conservator, guardian ad litem or both. [1987 c.795 s.3]

(LdiJ is absolutely correct)

 

[WillingToFight]

Thank You

Thank you both - that's what I thought.

I'll just continue to maintain my involvement where I can and leave ex alone (unless he successfully interferes.)

 

[Zephyr]

You might want to go to where Doggie got that information and just have it handy to show to ex and/or school should the issue arise.

 

[WillingToFight]

Section 107

Thanks, Zephr. I think I have this printed out somewhere. I'll print out this section and highlight it, keep it in my binder.

Him saying what he said in court could explain several things. The kids take his word as gospel so they have probably been told that I'm "not allowed" to do certain things. I am constantly reminding the kids that they don't need their dad's permission to spend additional time with me; the order is written such that they can see me as often as they like without their father's interference.

I can't tell you how many times I've had to re-add myself to the contacts list at the school (even when we had joint custody) because ex has had me removed. It's just aggravating to no end.

Emailing the kids' teachers on a regular basis is probably one the best things I've managed to do to maintain ties with my children. The kids even told their attorney last year that they really liked having me keep up with their teachers! So if that's what ex is referring to as "meddling", it sounds like it's HIS viewpoint and not the kids'.

 

[Proserpina]

Thanks, Zephr. I think I have this printed out somewhere. I'll print out this section and highlight it, keep it in my binder.

Him saying what he said in court could explain several things. The kids take his word as gospel so they have probably been told that I'm "not allowed" to do certain things. I am constantly reminding the kids that they don't need their dad's permission to spend additional time with me; the order is written such that they can see me as often as they like without their father's interference.

I can't tell you how many times I've had to re-add myself to the contacts list at the school (even when we had joint custody) because ex has had me removed. It's just aggravating to no end.

Emailing the kids' teachers on a regular basis is probably one the best things I've managed to do to maintain ties with my children. The kids even told their attorney last year that they really liked having me keep up with their teachers! So if that's what ex is referring to as "meddling", it sounds like it's HIS viewpoint and not the kids'.

Linkage if needed: https://www.oregonlaws.org/ors/107.154.html

 

[WillingToFight]

Thanks again!

Linkage if needed: https://www.oregonlaws.org/ors/107.154.html

Thanks, Dogmatique! I also found it here: BILL OF RIGHTS OF NON-CUSTODIAL